Attracting the Cancer Guy

What's He Like?

Monashee Alonso for Getty Images.

The Cancer man tries to hide his emotional vulnerability, but it's there for all to see.  He naturally attracts those who want to mother him, and is at home among the ladies. 

Cancer men are sensitive water signs, but they're also strong, and often very masculine.  They're the most lovable of men -- when they let you love them. 

The Cancer man takes everything personally, and at times acts like a baby.

I heard the late poet John O'Donohue saying isn't it wonderful in our serious adult world, that we're all ex-babies.  And in Cancer men, the baby is demanding, with moods that wax and wane like the Moon (Cancer's planetary ruler). 

He's also notorious for nursing a grudge, even one you don't know about, until he throws a tantrum.   Or he may try to sabotage the relationship indirectly, not even knowing himself what's really bothering him. The self-aware Cancer guy laughs at his own quirks and sensitivities. 

My Dad was a Cancer and always had a childlike twinkle in the eye, but was also shockingly childish at times.  Once he was in a crabby mood, it was nigh impossible to get him out of it. 

Moonchildren are big feelers, very imaginative and tend to have a subjective outlook.  Cancer rules children and childhood, Mother and mothering. 

Cancer in love is protective, and sentimental. 

Getting to Know Him

The Cancer guy is super sensitive, and often grows up shy.

How open he is depends on whether he's learned that it's OK to trust others.

The older Cancer wears a protective shell, and often appears aloof. But inside, he's still that same softy with the big heart.

Of all the signs, he's the most sensitive to rejection. That's why he likes to move toward love in an indirect way -- like a Crab.

He doesn't want to rush into anything.

The Cancer man is watching intently, though he might not seem like it.  He may sense disinterest, and push you away preemptively.  Less is more, with the male Moonchild, so let there be lots of space and time for him to miss you. 

Mama's Boy

The male Moonchild often keeps unusually close ties to his Mom.  This is a way to understand him.  See if there are hard aspects (squares, oppositions) to his Cancer Sun or Moon.  This could hint at patterns of stress, love-hate, and a struggle to be independent on his own. 

His Moon sign and its aspects are very revealing.  Cancer is ruled by the Moon, for wavy moods and sensitivity.  What makes him feel emotionally secure?  What puts him in retreat mode, back into the shell? 

Cancer Guy Particulars

  • is protective of his private life
  • doesn't like to stand out, or be singled out
  • has a natural affinity for women, and is especially close to his mother
  • is most comfortable in his own home
  • comes across as vulnerable, which brings out a protective instinct in others
  • gets lost in his moods
  • is easily wounded
  • looks for emotional sure-things and financial stability

When He's in Love

  • his fear of being hurt grows
  • he forms a deep attachment
  • he responds to steady affection and honesty
  • he reveals himself in safe places
  • he remembers every moment
  • he's sentimental and loving
  • can recoil if hurt, even if unintentionally.

Cancer Man and Sex

He gets affectionate and lets down his guard when he feels emotionally safe. Often that means on his own home turf, with all his comforts within arm's reach. Cancer men are often orally oriented, starting with kissing, and covering the body landscape.

  • Faithfulness
  • A homey atmosphere together
  • To create a family feeling
  • To have emotional intimacy
  • To build a stable life with enough food and money to feel secure
  • To get to know each other's families
  • To share a refuge -- home -- from the harsh world outside
  • A genuine interest in his background, childhood, family.
  • Comforting assurances of your affection.
  • An emotionally safe situation, where his vulnerability won't be taken advantage of.
  • Respect for his strength and sensitivity.
  • A cozy setting with his favorite foods, warm lighting, private feel.

On the Down Side, he's emotionally manipulative, childish, defensive, rejecting, passively aggressive, brooding, self-pitying.

On the Bright Side, he is gentle, protective, home-oriented, great with kids, marriage material, a family man, devoted, domestic, loving, intuitive and sentimentally romantic.

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