Best George Carlin Quotes of All Time

01
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George Carlin on Stupid People

George Carlin on Stupid People
facebook.com/politicalhumor

"Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of 'em are stupider than that." –George Carlin
 

02
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George Carlin on Rich vs. Poor

George Carlin on Rich vs. Poor
Facebook: Formidable Republican Opposition

"Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. As for the poor, they tell us they've lost all incentive because we've given them too much money." –George Carlin

03
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George Carlin on the Power of Stupid People in Large Groups

George Carlin on the Power of Stupid People in Large Groups
via Daily Kos

"Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups." –George Carlin
 

04
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George Carlin on Anyone Becoming President

George Carlin on Anyone Becoming President
Facebook.com/politicalhumor

"In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem." –George Carlin



 

05
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George Carlin on Wall Street

George Carlin on Wall Street
The Other 98%
06
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George Carlin on Fighting for Peace

George Carlin on Fighting for Peace

"Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity." –George Carlin

07
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George Carlin on Fascism in America

George Carlin on Fascism
Facebook.com/PragProgPage

"When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. It will not be with jack-boots. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts." –George Carlin

08
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George Carlin on the Ten Commandments

George Carlin on the Ten Commandments
Truth Beckons

"The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post 'Thou shalt not steal,' 'Thou shalt not commit adultery,' and 'Thou shalt not lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment." –George Carlin

09
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George Carlin on Bipartisanship

George Carlin on Bipartsanship

"Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out." –George Carlin

10
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George Carlin on Capitalism

George Carlin on Capitalism
Daily Kos
11
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George Carlin on Conservatives

George Carlin on Conservatives

"Boy, these conservatives are really something, aren't they? They're all in favor of the unborn. They will do anything for the unborn. But once you're born, you're on your own. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. After that, they don't want to know about you. They don't want to hear from you. No nothing. No neonatal care, no day care, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're f**ked." –George Carlin

12
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George Carlin on Selfish, Ignorant Citizens

AllHatNoCattle.com

"If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're going to have selfish, ignorant leaders." –George Carlin

13
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George Carlin on Thinking

PunditKitchen.com

"Careful, if you think too much, they'll take you away." –George Carlin
 

14
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George Carlin on Economic and Social Classes

George Carlin on Economic and Social Classes
15
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George Carlin on Atheists

George Carlin on Atheists
16
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George Carlin on Defense Spending

George Carlin on Defense Spending
17
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George Carlin on Republicans and Volunteerism

George Carlin on Republicans
facebook.com/politicalhumor

"Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time." –George Carlin

18
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George Carlin on the God Excuse

George Carlin on the God Excuse
Facebook.com/WSBYSO
19
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George Carlin on Men and Women

George Carlin on Men and Women
20
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George Carlin on Laughing

George Carlin on Laughing
Facebook.com/GeorgeCarlinSez
21
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George Carlin on Questioning Everything

George Carlin on Questioning Everything
22
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George Carlin on God Picking Favorites

George Carlin on God Picking Favorites
23
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George Carlin on Thinking

George Carlin on Thinking
Armchair Patriots
24
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George Carlin on People Doing Anything They Want

George Carlin on People Doing Anything They Want
25
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George Carlin on the Pope

George Carlin on the Pope
26
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George Carlin on Living

George Carlin on Living
27
of 42

George Carlin on the People We Kill

George Carlin on Peacemakers
28
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George Carlin on God Playing Favorites

George Carlin on God Playing Favorites
29
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George Carlin on Ethnic and National Pride

George Carlin on Ethnic and National Pride
30
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George Carlin on the Separation of Church and State

George Carlin on the Separation of Church and State
AATP.org

"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death." –George Carlin

31
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George Carlin Bumper Sticker

George Carlin Bumper Sticker
32
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George Carlin on Possessions

George Carlin on Possessions

"Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body." –George Carlin
 

33
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George Carlin on Church People

George Carlin on Church People

"I'm pretty sick of church people. You know what they ought to do with churches? Tax them. If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everybody else. The Catholic Church alone could wipe out the national debt if all you did was tax their real estate." –George Carlin

34
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George Carlin on Winning

George Carlin on Winning
35
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George Carlin on the Cricus

George Carlin on the Cricus
36
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George Carlin on Self-Help

George Carlin on Self-Help
37
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George Carlin on Prostitution

George Carlin on Prostitution
38
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George Carlin on Conservatives

George Carlin on Conservatives

"Conservatives don't give a shit about you until you reach military age. Then they think you are just fine, just what they've been looking for. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. Pro-life... these people aren't pro-life, they're killing doctors! What kind of pro-life is that? They'll do anything they can to save a fetus, but if it grows up to be a doctor they just might have to kill it? They're not pro-life. You know what they are? They're anti-woman. Simple as it gets, anti-woman -- they don't like them. They don't like women. They believe a woman's primary role is to function as a broodmare for the state. Pro-life, you don't see many of these anti-abortion women volunteering to have any black fetuses transplanted into their uteruses, do you? No, you don't see them adopting a whole lot of crack babies, do you? No, that might be something Christ would do!" –George Carlin

39
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George Carlin on Abortion

George Carlin on Abortion
40
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George Carlin on Flame-Throwers

George Carlin on Flame-Throwers
41
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George Carlin on the Mystery of Life

George Carlin on the Mystery of Life
startLOL.com
42
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George Carlin on Cynicism vs. Idealism

George Carlin on Cynicism vs. Idealism
celebquote.com

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