Best Post-Election Jokes

Late-Night Jokes About Trump's Victory and the Presidential Transition

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Donald Trump Memes
Obama and Biden Memes
Post-Election Memes
Hillary Clinton Memes

"A new report finds that protecting Donald Trump and his family is costing New York City taxpayers over a $1 million a day. Then Trump was like, 'Thank God I'm not a taxpayer!'" –Jimmy Fallon

"One of Donald Trump's potential attorneys general is reportedly already working on a plan to make Muslims register with the government.

Does anyone see a problem with that, or do you 'Nazi?'" –Seth Meyers

"Trump's campaign manager, Kellyanne Conway, was being interviewed yesterday and said she's 'very confident' that Trump isn't breaking any laws during his transition. Then Americans were like, 'Uh . . . we weren't even suspicious until you said that.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Donald Trump said this afternoon that he was 'surprised' one of his top picks for secretary of defense is not in favor of waterboarding. Man, you think you know somebody. And then they turn out to be a decent human being." –Seth Meyers

"Donald Trump said the transition is going well and he has spoken to 'many foreign leaders.' Then someone had to explain to Trump that Barack Obama is not a 'foreign leader.'" –Conan O'Brien

"Donald Trump claimed that he decided to settle the Trump University lawsuits so he could focus on running the country. Then he went back to tweeting insults at the cast of 'Hamilton.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Donald Trump is planning a victory tour of the states he won.

He's planning on holding a series of rallies starting sometime after Thanksgiving. Maybe this is where he reveals it was all a prank." –Jimmy Kimmel

 "The mayor of London said recently that if people based in the U.S. want to escape Donald Trump's administration, quote, 'London is open.' Said Melania, 'Taxi!'" –Seth Meyers

"Trump's transition continues its transitioning. Don't know a lot about what's going on, but I do know that his team has not yet called the Pentagon, possibly because he knows more than the generals. Or maybe he's never going to call them. He'll just launch a literal tweet war: '@Pentagon, please bomb Syria. #LyingNewYorkTimes.'" –Stephen Colbert

"Trump doesn't even believe in the existence of global warming, having tweeted: 'The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive,' and calling global warming 'very expensive BS.' Of course, 'Very Expensive BS' is also the motto for Trump University. "–Stephen Colbert

"President Obama actually said yesterday that if things get better under President Trump, he'll be the first to congratulate him. Well, technically, he'll be the second because Trump will congratulate himself first." –Jimmy Fallon

"I read that Donald Trump doesn't want to live at the White House full-time. He's thinking about commuting from New York City. It's all part of Trump's plan to make America great again, and to make traffic in New York City worse than ever." –Jimmy Fallon

"Hillary Clinton made her first appearance since the election last night and told the crowd, 'There had been a few times this past week when all I wanted to do is just to curl up with a good book or our dogs and never leave the house again.' Oh, sure, NOW you're relatable." –Seth Meyers

"Donald Trump has reportedly asked for his adult children to get top-level security clearance so that they can see classified documents and explain them to him. Trump is trying to get top-secret security clearance for his kids, which explains why today Vladimir Putin asked Trump to adopt him." Jimmy Fallon

"There are reports that Bill Clinton encouraged Donald Trump to run for president. When asked about it, Bill Clinton said, 'It hasn't been this tense around my house since … well, you know…'" –Conan O'Brien

"President-elect Trump tweeted that he would have won the popular vote if he had campaigned more in New York, Florida, and California. Trump explained, 'I just got tired and ran out of terrible things to say.'" –Conan O'Brien

"President Obama announced this week that, after meeting with Donald Trump, he plans to spend more time with his successor than presidents typically do in order to help ease the transition.

When asked how long he thought the transition would take, President Obama said, 'Four years.'" –James Corden

"After Donald Trump met with President Obama, Trump seemed surprised by the scope of the president's duties. Trump said, 'Who knew?' And Hillary was like, 'I did.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"It was reported that Trump's team was unaware that they needed to replace the entire West Wing staff. Trump's team basically thought the White House was like a Best Buy that occasionally gets a new store manager." –James Corden

"Last night, on '60 Minutes,' Donald Trump gave his first TV interview since being elected — and get this, he said that he will only take $1 a year as president. All part of Trump's unending commitment to never pay taxes." –Jimmy Fallon

"Trump said that he would not accept the standard $400,000 salary that presidents get. That story again: Trump made his first deal as president-elect and lost almost $400,000." –Jimmy Fallon

"During the interview last night on '60 Minutes,' Donald Trump said, 'I'm a very sober person.' After hearing this, half of America said, 'So were we, until last Tuesday.'" –Conan O'Brien

See Also: Best Donald Trump Cartoons

"Donald Trump's children are helping him transition to the White House. Right now 10-year-old Barron Trump is interviewing the next head of the NSA." –Conan O'Brien

"On '60 Minutes' last night, Donald Trump said he wishes his campaign's tone had been 'nicer' and more 'on policy.' Trump said, 'But then, I would have lost.'" –Conan O'Brien

"Donald Trump has stated he wants to make it easier to sue journalists. He also wants to use the Second Amendment to shoot the First Amendment." –Conan O'Brien

"Rumors are circulating that Donald Trump has been telling his advisers that he plans to spend his weekends in his Trump Tower penthouse in New York City instead of the White House. I don't think that's what voters meant when they said they wanted a Washington outsider." –James Corden

"If he does decide to live in Trump Tower, presidential historians tell us this is the first time a sitting president will be living above a Niketown." –James Corden

"During a '60 Minutes' interview, Trump said going forward, he will be 'very restrained' on Twitter and Facebook. So, the interview was taped Friday, and then on Sunday — two days later — he went on a tirade against The New York Times on Twitter. But he didn't use all caps! Baby steps. It's something, right? Lowercase." –Jimmy Kimmel

"During an interview yesterday, Donald Trump told his supporters not to harass Latinos and Muslims. 'Uh-oh,' said black people." –Seth Meyers

"Donald Trump told supporters last night not to harass Latinos and Muslims, saying, 'I will say right to the cameras, 'Stop it'' — and then he winked so hard his wig unsnapped." –Seth Meyers

"According to The New York Times, Donald Trump wants to continue holding large rallies after he takes office — and Hillary Clinton wants to continue hiking deeper and deeper into the woods." –Seth Meyers

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