12 Hilarious ‘Billy Madison’ Quotes

Adam Sandler In 'Billy Madison'
Universal Pictures / Getty Images

If you are the kind who cannot tolerate Adam Sandler's over-the-top kind of comedy, stay off this one. Billy Madison is a signature Adam Sandler movie, complete with in-your-face ribald humor. He has the ability to be hilarious in an annoying sort of way. But if you enjoy movies that are high on sexual innuendo, Billy Madison is the right movie for you.

Unlike Jim Carrey, Sandler does not rely on goofy antics to draw an audience. He comes across as the funny guy caught between two raging seas. In Billy Madison, Adam Sandler redefines 'idiot' as he portrays Billy Madison. Yet your heart goes out to him because you know that idiotic people are hardly malicious. Billy Madison is a favorite among the younger audience. Kids connect with this child-like adult, who knows and understands the challenges of being a kid.

 Read these Billy Madison quotes to understand why kids find this movie a laugh riot. Billy's exaggerated behavior, the weird magazines he reads, and his other silly acts are very enjoyable. Adam Sandler's comic timing in this movie is undoubtedly one of his best. Chris Farley and Norm MacDonald add to the fun. Here are some memorable Billy Madison quotes.

Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Billy Madison
Back to school. Back to school, to prove to Dad that I'm not a fool. I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight, I hope I don't get in a fight. Oh! Back to school... back to school... back to school. Well, here goes nothing.​

Well, "sorry" doesn't put the Triscuit crackers in my stomach now, does it Karl?

Lunch Lady
Have some more sloppy Joes. I made 'em extra sloppy for yous. I know how yous kids like 'em sloppy.

Billy Madison
Sometimes I feel like an idiot. But I am an idiot, so it kinda works out.

If you're gonna stay home today, you can help me shave my armpits!

Billy Madison
I am the smartest man alive!

Ooh that boy's a fine piece of work all right.

He's a fine piece of ass though, too.

Old Lady
What is a horseshoe? What does a horseshoe do? Are there any horse socks? Is anybody listening to me?

Old Farm Lady
If peeing in your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.

Brian Madison
You were brought up with every advantage. I bought you everything. Toys, cars, vacations, clothes...

When I graduated from first grade, all my dad did was tell me to get a job.