Brokeback Mountain Jokes

Late-Night Jokes About Brokeback Mountain

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"President Bush said we must continue to find new sources of oil. The only place he doesn't want any drilling, 'Brokeback Mountain.'" --Jay Leno

"Walk The Line was passed over for best picture nomination. Which makes 'Brokeback Mountain' the clear favorite. See gay is in this year. If Johnny Cash had fallen for Jimmy Carter instead of June Carter…they would have had a lockout." --Jay Leno

"Monday is President's Day and former President Bill Clinton is very excited.

He is taking George Bush, Sr. to 'Hooters'. ... George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton have been spending more and more time together. Doesn't that seem like an unusual couple to you, honestly? Earlier today they went to go see that gay cowboy movie." --David Letterman

"At a press conference in Kansas the other day President Bush was asked if he had seen 'Brokeback Mountain.' He said, no, he doesn’t like westerns where the cowboys go into town for a day spa. ... George W. Bush is an old fashioned guy. He gets up to leave the room when Ben-Gay commercials come on." --Conan O'Brien

"It was reported today that U.S. military bases will not show 'Brokeback Mountain.' However, during interrogations, U.S. troops will continue to show 'Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Yesterday at a press conference President Bush said he had not seen 'Brokeback Mountain.' However, he did express an interest in drilling for oil there" --David Letterman

"President Bush was asked by someone in the audience if he'd seen 'Brokeback Mountain.' The president said he hadn't seen it, but he'd be happy to talk about ranching.

Then he added, 'Ranching still means gay sex, right?'" --Conan O'Brien

"The Golden Globes were last night. It was the biggest gathering of Hollywood celebrities that wasn’t an anti-Bush rally. ... The big winners were "Brokeback Mountain," "Capote" and "Transamerica." All movies with gay themes. I think this is God's way of punishing Pat Robertson." --Jay Leno

More Jokes About Hollywood Movies

"During her Oscar acceptance speech, Patricia Arquette called for equal pay for women.

Then Oprah stood up and said, 'She's right, I can't live like this. I can't take another second of this living hell.'" –Conan O'Brien

"All I could think of all day yesterday while watching all of the Oscar-related shows was how much I miss football." –Jimmy Kimmel

"I don't want to say the Oscars ran long but the kid from 'Boyhood' just moved into a senior living facility." –Jimmy Kimmel

"The Oscar telecast went smoothly. It helped that Bradley Cooper was in the balcony with a rifle in case any of the speeches went on too long." –Jimmy Kimmel

"How many of you watched the Oscars last night? And how many of you are still watching it?" –Seth Meyers

"I don't want to say the Oscars ran long, but the best picture Oscar was awarded on 'Good Morning America.'" –Seth Meyers

"The ratings for last night's Academy Awards hit a six-year low. So few people saw the Oscars that it's been nominated for an Oscar." –Seth Meyers

"Sunday is the 87th annual Academy Awards. It's the time of year when all the biggest movie stars get together and try to piece together what happened after they blacked out at the Golden Globes." –Jimmy Fallon

"I heard that this year's Oscar nominee gift bags are each worth over $167,000 and include items like free luxury car rentals and a stay at a five-star hotel in Tuscany.

As opposed to the Emmys, where we get an AOL CD and two loose Twizzlers." –Jimmy Fallon

"The Academy Awards are passed out on Sunday. It's voted by members of the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences. Or as I call them, 50 shades of white." –David Letterman

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