I'm a Cancer in Love with an Aquarius

"Help Me, What Do I Do?"

Cancer, For Your Eyes Only (just kidding)

After reading the love compatibility for Cancer and Aquarius, you’re here to look at potential ordeals. This is written from Cancer’s corner.

Cancer, your sign is cardinal water, and that means you’re not designed to take love lightly. You’re very immersed in the waters of yourself, and can instinctively be very nurturing. You intuit what others need (or what you think they need) and give it.

The problems arise, when you want to give Aquarius a sense of emotional stability – a shelter in the storm. Well, Aquarius is like a storm, with its unpredictability and sudden changes in air pressure. Aquarius thrives in situations of stimulation and change, not the comfort of the familiar.

You would do better with a long courtship like the days of old. Oh, to be sure, to go with the prevailing norm of casual sex or hook-ups, you might pretend otherwise. But it’s not true deep down. You are passionate and because of your emotional sensitivity, quickly become enmeshed in the lives of those you’re intimate with.

Tribe and Lone Wolf

As a Moonchild, you’re very loving and come alive when there’s a family feel – with friends or family. You want everyone to feel taken care of, and at home. For the right person, this is a priceless trait, and the recipe for a love-filled home and family life.

You’re tribal, clannish, and often interested in family ties, ancestry and history.

Your Aquarius finds life in the tribe stifling. They want to be free to form unusual connections, perhaps with people from wildly different cultures, races or religious backgrounds. You might say they’re the scout of the Zodiac, the one out at the leading edge for the tribe. Because of this, your airy Aqua may always feel beyond your emotional grasp…and this is hard for you because you crave steady intimacy.

Social Mixed Signals

A true story. Cancer and Aquarius are new lovers out to see an off Broadway production of a famous writer’s play. Before the curtain goes up, they sit in the hipster audience. The Cancer is visibly insecure to be in a new unfamiliar place, and with a person they’re still getting to know. But it’s nothing a comforting side hug or something whispered conspiratorily wouldn’t cure.

But like an astronaut out on its tether, Aquarius is working the crowd. Friendly Aquarius is swiveling around, meeting eyes and making small talk. Cancer’s insecurity goes supernova…now, it’s not certain whether Aquarius is even still interested!

If you’re a Cancer, with an Aquarius, you can wonder if you’re the main squeeze. You get worried or jealous if the Waterbearer seems to give strangers the same presence as he or she does to you.

You can replay old wounds of abandonment, if you feel left high and dry while out in public. You thrive with someone who is emotionally reassuring, even when there’s separate mingling going on. More than that, you have to really believe it, deep down, that your Aquarius is forming an attachment, mind, body and soul.

Freedom and Enmeshment

By now, you know that your Aquarius lover is naturally someone who loves their independence.

And you’ll want to decide if there’s enough of a commitment there for you to count on. In some Cancer-Aquarius matches, this could be the best of both worlds. Aquarius flies the coop, and returns to the nest that Cancer has lovingly created – for sanctuary and replenishment.

One of your life missions is to gain emotional independence yourself. Your Aquarius can be an inspiration, when there’s real trust there, to go beyond your comfort zone.

Love Glue

Aquarians are happiest with lots of intellectual stimulation. You pique their interest by sharing what fascinates you. Lucky for you, they’ll howl over your observation of the absurd, or inappropriate remarks.

Your thinking is One with your emotions (especially for Cancer’s with Mercury here, too). This is not true of Aquarians, and is another source of misunderstanding.

You might take personally, things that the Waterbearer is very detached about. If enough of these slights accumulate, you might decide it’s just not feeding your need for heart-led conversation.

Even if Aquarius isn’t seeing other lovers, they might want to leave the door open. Any hint at infidelity can take you to dark places of the psyche. You could begin to act on feelings of jealousy, and dark imaginings, if red flags are going off.

It’s important to honor your own nature, and even if it hurts, to end a relationship that’s damaging to your self-esteem. Because Cancer and Aquarius are inconjunct _-- both the element and quality are miss-matched – it takes a lot of dedication to make this work. If there are doubts on either side, that can begin to sow the seeds of distrust. Listen to your inner voice, and it will guide you to the right decision.

  • Get advice from a mutual friend who you trust – they may be able to confirm what you’re picking up.
  • Don’t take on the mantle of needy because you are not getting the emotional sustenance you naturally crave.
  • Look to the Moon sign of your Aqua lover – this will be meaningful.
  • If painful feelings are coming up, get to the root of these with self-care and healing gifts to yourself.
  • Don't isolate yourself from friends or family.