Ten Ugliest Character Flaws

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Ten Ugliest Character Flaws

Character Flaws
Character Flaws. Getty Images / Canva

All humans are flawed in one way or another. In this slideshow I demonstrate ten character flaws that are easily recognized in others... but I'm asking for you to turn the looking glass upon yourself. We can all improve in how we present ourselves in our communications and interactions with family, friends, and others. Striving toward perfection is not the goal. In fact, perfectionism is among my top ten UGLIST character flaws.

We can absolutely evolve our characters into being nicer and less on edge. But, first, take a some time to identify what your character flaws might be.

Don't be too hard on yourself about your flaws. Forgive yourself. But, also, be wiling to make changes.

In my family dynamics I learned (rather efficiently) how to use my tongue as a weapon. I would unconsciously give a prompt tongue-lashing to anyone who I felt was a threat to me, to my way of thinking, or to my WORLD in general. You could say Don't Rock My Boat was my mantra. I've since learned whenever I feel as if someone is rocking my boat that the person is a teacher.... showing me areas in my life that likely could use some fine-tuning.

Personal Struggles with Character Flaws

A couple of my personal character flaws reared their ugly heads a few years ago. I sure thought I had those buggers hidden and out of view. But no, that wasn't the case.

The flaws I tend to struggle with are: (1) A need to be in total control and (2) not being able to take criticism kindly, even when those criticisms are intended to be of the "constructive" sort.

These two negative feelings had been oozing like a bloody scab that was picked open and refused to heal properly. I realize that this "bloody scab" analogy is not an attractive visual, but it best describes how I was feeling at that time. Certainly, I'm not keen to have what I view as my human deficiencies bleed out into the open, but here I AM willing to write about them in a public forum. Why? Because I feel that admitting I have these problems may be a good first step toward bringing about changes and perhaps help distance myself from negative patterns. But also, because I'm willing to admit that I do struggle with character flaws, sharing them may ultimately help others to take a closer look at their own inadequacies.

When will I finally learn that the more I hold on to the idea that I must be in control of a particular situation in my life, the more the situation will grow out of control? I often try to remind myself to "let go" or "ease up" while, at the same time, my fists are clenching in defiance against my very desire to change perspectives. I decide to take a few deep breaths, followed by deliberate and steady exhalations, in an attempt to release these pent-up controlling energies that aren't serving me in a positive and productive way. Doing this does help considerably, but, the basic flaw of wanting to hold firmly onto the reins and control everything continues to grip me in varying degrees. Although I am doing better, I feel that I still need to work on surrendering over my desire to be in total control because control issues seem to be the cause of unnecessary stress and aggravation in my life.

It is Okay Not to Be Perfect. But, There is Always Room for Improvement

Also, please don't tell me that my way of doing things could be improved on. I KNOW that MY way is the very BEST way already, thank you very much! Okay, you might be right, but why don't you just keep that information to yourself? I don't want to hear anything from you but your praise and adoration. Did I ask you for your opinion? Well, of course I did! But I didn't mean for you to be so brutally honest and hurtful to me in your response. I need to take a step back, you say? Oh, REALLY? Okay, now that I've had a few hours to calm down, I realize that you might be right, but it really galls me to the bone to have to admit it. I really hate this feeling of not being perfect. I am simply uncomfortable ever having to admit that I, infallible ME, might actually be WRONG about something!

The point I'm trying to make here is that I realize that I AM human, that I DO bleed, and that I'm NOT perfect. When I'm in a calmer state of mind, I willingly accept that I can empower myself by striving to make improvements to my overall character. And isn't that just what life is truly all about? Learn to be yourself, accept yourself, AND, if at all possible, progressively make changes towards improving yourself? Each of us can be compared to an artist's unfinished canvas, a work in progress, a potential masterpiece in the making. Yet no masterpiece, or person, is ever quite finished. There seems to always be another stroke of paint for the artist to add, if he really thinks about it long enough. Thus, it is up to each individual to spend some time each day adding or reversing paint strokes onto his or her personal canvas in order to improve on the total picture. Simply put, it's up to each of us how we view ourselves, and, largely, how others see us too.

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Arrogance / Argumentative

Man and Woman Arguing
Man and Woman Arguing. Göran Stierna / Getty Images

Is there ever really never a winner in an argument? Yelling the loudest doesn't make you a winner. Getting the last word in doesn't have any value either. Being argumentative is a form of arrogance. 

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Dishonesty Gesture
Dishonesty Gesture. Peter Glass / Getty Images

This character flaw needs no explanation. Truthfulness is king, why lie? If you are an habitual liar or simply tell a white lie now and again... ask yourself WHY? 

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Short-tempered / Combative

Girl Throwing Water in Mans Face
Girl Throwing Water in Mans Face. Henrik Sorensen / Getty Images

Frustration is the often the result of not getting our way or having our plans derailed. Everyone gets frustrated, but we don't have to lose control and react outrageously. If you feel frustrations building, fight any desire to lash out. Perhaps it would be best to walk away. Take a deep breath, count to ten... you know the drill.

Taming Your Reactions
Anger Management Remedies

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Need to Always Be Right / Conceit

Right Checkmark
Right / Wrong Checkmark. German / Getty Images

Nobody like a know-it-all, so why get caught up this character flaw. If it is important for you to point out your "rightness" all the time, you are really displaying conceit. Also, you might be wrong! Eating crow isn't fun either. Ask yourself, is it better to be right, or is it better to build better relationships?

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Perfectionist / Nit-Picker

Perfectionism. OrangeDukeProductions / Getty Images

Perfectionism slices throughs a person, it is a double-edged sword. The ego is over-developed in the perfectionist personality. No one is perfect, take a deep breath and accept your foibles. Self-criticism is not your friend.  

Lessons for the Perfectionist 

Forgiveness Meditation
Letting Go Affirmations
How to Live Your Life without Regrets

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Playing the Victim / Always Blaming the Other Guy

Girl Pointing Blame
Girl Pointing Blame. PhotoAlto/Alix Minde / Getty Images

It is important we take responsibility for the things that go wrong in our lives. Taking on the victim role and pointing your fingers at others is a bad habit that needs to be broken.  Besides, people become weary of your pity party indulgences.

Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People?
How to Plan Your Pity Party​

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Self Centered

All About Me!
All About Me!. DNY59 / Getty Images

One of the first lessons we are taught as children is how to share with others. Sharing your toys and treats is the right thing to do. But there are other things we do that are selfish that you may not realize. The selfish personality focuses primarily on themselves. They generally are not good listeners either They like to talk about their problems, their achievements, their everything.Their friendships tend to be one-sided... taking and giving.

Psychic Vampires
Are You a Drama Queen?

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Stubborn / Inflexibility

Stubborn Couple
Stubborn Couple. Jose Luis Pelaez Inc / Getty Images

Are you a MY WAY or THE HIGHWAY type of person? Being inflexible is a tough stance to take. You are likely to find yourself alone a lot as people walk in and out of your life as fast as a revolving door. OR... you may find yourself locked in a MIRROR relationship, where neither one of you is getting the message.

What is Mirroring?
Spiritual Relationships

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Vanity / Pridefulness

Girl Looking in Vanity Mirror
Girl Looking in Vanity Mirror. Hachephotography / Getty Images

Are you overly concerned with your looks? Self image is a struggle for many people. It is natural to want to be your best and look your best. But, it could be that you want to put on a show with your physical appearance because of inner insecurities.

Tips for Boosting Your Body Image

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Humorless / Inability to Laugh at Yourself

Frowning Man
Frowning Man. Alberto Incrocci / Getty Images

Laughter is the best medicine, but when the laughter is turned on you it may not feel so funny. No one wants to be made fun of and you are the focus of a joke out of cruelty or bully behavior you have every right to feel insult. But when friends poke fun... it is often meant as an endearment. Take these situations as intentioned. We laugh at other people when we recognize similarities in our own lives. Life is funny.... I'm sorry if you are missing out on the fun.