Yes, There Are Chemistry Jokes and They Are Funny

A Collection of Chemistry Jokes

I would tell you a chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon.
I would tell you a chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon. Rosanne Olson, Getty Images

Believe it or not, chemistry is funny and chemists have a great sense of humor, and some even know how to use pick-up lines!

  • Are all my jokes too basic for you? Why is there no reaction?
  • My Chemistry teacher threw sodium chloride at me.... That's a salt!
  • Little Willie was a chemist. Little Willie is no more. What he thought was H2O was H.
  • Sulfur and oxygen were best buds. They lived far from each other, so in order for oxygen to chat with his pal, he had to use his sulfone!
  • Want to hear a joke about nitrogen oxide? NO.
  • Heisenberg and Schrodinger are driving down the road when a cop pulls them over. The cop asks Heisenberg, "Do you know how fast you were going back there?" Heisenberg replies "No, but I can tell you exactly where I was." The cop begins to be suspicious and proceeds to search the car. Upon opening the trunk he exclaims, "Hey, you have a dead cat back here," to which Schrodinger replies "Well, now I do! Thanks."
  • I'm running out of chemistry jokes. All the good ones argon.
  • Why did the chemist's pants keep falling down? He had no acetol.
  • 9 sodium atoms walk into a bar, followed by batman.
  • Old chemists never die, they only fail to react as a chemist.
  • The guy next to me asked if I had any hypo bromide, I said NaBrO.
  • What did the nerd say when he failed a test? "Ytterbium."
  • A proton and a neutron are walking down the street. The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it." The neutron says, "Are you sure?" The proton replies, "I'm positive."
  • Random Person: Why do you react violently when we put you in H20? Chemistry Cat: Because my race contains iron, lithium and neon = FeLiNe origins.
  • First man orders "I'd like H2O". The second man orders "I'd like H2O too". The second man died.
  • The atom asks the electron, "why are you small?" The electron replies, "because I have a low charge!"
  • This joke is sodium funny... I slapped my neon that one.
  • What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution!
  • Here is a pick-up line: You must be copper and tellurium cause you sure are CuTe! 
  • He was a boron; he couldn't even follow the octet rule. He had a solid network but wasn't a diamond. To a chemist only six states matter.
  • A neutron walked into a bar and asked how much for a drink. The bartender replied, "for you, no charge."
  • In the world of chemicals, a constant battle rages between the chemical supervillains and the chemical super agents. The most esteemed of these is one (OO)7, international dyeing agent of mystery. On one particularly hairy mission, he finds himself pitted against the evil genius of lore, Dr. Nitrogen Monoxide, who has set a devious trap in the form of an ordinary piece of white cloth. After falling through a cleverly placed mechanosensitive membrane protein, (OO)7 is shocked to find himself soaking into a tightly bound mesh of cotton fibers. (He is, after all, a dyeing agent.) In desperation, he calls to his nemesis, "Do you expect me to talk, NO?" The villain only chuckles maniacally. "No Mr. Dye, I expect you to bond."
  • The noble gases walk into a bar. No one reacts.
  • Wanted by the Law: Schrodinger's Cat, Dead And/Or Alive
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Your Citation
Helmenstine, Anne Marie, Ph.D. "Yes, There Are Chemistry Jokes and They Are Funny." ThoughtCo, Aug. 25, 2020, Helmenstine, Anne Marie, Ph.D. (2020, August 25). Yes, There Are Chemistry Jokes and They Are Funny. Retrieved from Helmenstine, Anne Marie, Ph.D. "Yes, There Are Chemistry Jokes and They Are Funny." ThoughtCo. (accessed June 4, 2023).