Your Child's Birth Chart - Warning Signs and Challenges

A Guide for Parents

Child / Image: Fabrice LEROUGE for Getty Images.

The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: Getting the Very Outcome You Were Hoping to Prevent

While your child’s birth chart is an invaluable tool for understanding their lessons, strengths, and needs, it’s too easy to set an expectation and therefore a limitation, maybe without even realizing it.

Avoid Jumping to Conclusions

Sun in Leo? Be careful of thinking “Oh, my child is always going to show off too much, I need to curb that so she doesn’t get an over-inflated ego.”

Mars in Pisces? Be careful of thinking “Oh, they’re too gentle-hearted and nice to stand up for themselves, I’m going to need to give them extra protection” and fighting battles that the child needs to handle themselves. It’s a fine line between understanding and supporting a child’s nature and creating a self-fulfilling prophecy in an effort to compensate for what you may think they lack or could overdo.

A Mars in Pisces child is going to have a natural desire to empathize with others and to accommodate them, and yet will benefit from seeing the outcome when they allow themselves to be victimized by others and what they can do about that. They may never be an aggressive person, but they can learn compassion without being a victim. If they are never put in a position where they have to defend themselves, they will never see the outcome of those experiences and learn from them.

Likewise, Sun in Leo children are going to have a natural desire to express themselves, but they will benefit more from you being genuinely interested in their creative way of sharing themselves with you rather than you ignoring their demonstrations out of a fear they will be too domineering.

Withholding this attention out of fear of overdoing it can create a self-fulfilling prophecy: the child may then feel that they never got enough attention and is prompted to go overboard to get what they need.

Despairing Over a Frightening or Negative Placement in Your Child’s Chart

There it sits: Pluto in the 4th house of home and family: maybe you’re what scares and wounds your child!

Or Uranus conjunct Venus: maybe your child will never be able to settle down with the right someone!

No matter how philosophical we try to be, it’s downright scary and painful when we have to come face to face with the likelihood of our child experiencing pain and fear due to a personal struggle they will have to deal with.

It is important to remember that there are no ‘bad’ charts; each one truly has a spectrum of potential. Lest you think this is my poor attempt at being politically correct, let’s have an example.

A Tale of Two Trines (Harmonies)

Let’s take a look at the trine. The trine is an aspect, (a relationship between two or more planets), in which the planets involved work in harmony together. This means that these parts of a person are not in conflict with each other, and it brings ease, a sense of internal cooperation between these two parts of a person. That doesn’t mean that we always experience good things in our lives as a result, however.

For instance, if Mars is trine your Moon, you may find it relatively easy to act from your instinct and intuition, and to be clear about what your heart wants and go straight out and get it. You may also find, however, that since your heart (Moon) and your will (Mars) work so comfortably together, you have very little natural self-discipline when it comes to controlling your impulses.

Your heart may lead you down the garden path and you might not have time to think “maybe this isn’t so good for me after all!”

On the flipside, a square is an aspect in which the planets involved grate against and thwart each other. It is representative of two parts of you that experience frequent internal conflict. It certainly does not feel comfortable, but it can bring about a great deal of self-discipline and clarity through the need to engage in the struggle of working this conflict out in yourself.

For instance, if Mars is square your Saturn, then your will (Mars) is constantly bumping against personal limitations (Saturn). While this means you will probably experience several rounds of feeling defeated, the tension gets you to notice the issue, and to work to resolve that tension, thereby making you stronger and more disciplined to actually get what you want, despite the challenges in the way.

Like the squeaky wheel, it gets attention and has a better chance of being utilized as a hard won skill rather than a lazy, seldom used talent.

Editor's Note:  This is part of series written for parents by astrologer Amy Herring for the next in the series, read Parent-Child Synastry.

How to Use Stressful Placements in Your Child’s Chart to Your Parenting Advantage

Let’s be realistic, even though it’s true that there are no good or bad charts, every chart has a Pluto. Every chart has a Saturn. So everyone has something to overcome, fears and pain to experience and heal from, and struggles to face. This includes our children, and we hurt when our child suffers, plain and simple. So let’s take a look at how the ‘bad’ stuff can be useful.

False Alarms: When Nothing’s Wrong

If you’re a parent, you’ve probably experienced some trepidation when various authorities have told you that your son or daughter’s development is “below average” in some area. Whether going for your 2-year-old’s check up and being told that all the other children seem to be talking more than your child is by now, or in parent-teacher conferences about the teenager that won’t apply themselves, we all wonder “is there really something wrong with my child?” Sometimes there is a real problem, but sometimes a child’s lack of conformity to a process or set of expectations, be it educationally or socially, can be misconstrued as a lack or deficiency in the child, when really it is a natural difference in personality or development.

Astrology can help you determine, to some extent, if this may be the case. For instance, a child appears painfully shy but astrological investigation could determine that the child has Venus perhaps in the 12th house or the Ascendant in Cancer, in which case it is not appropriate for them to reveal themselves to playmates before they have determined it is safe to do so and they simply may need more time to warm up.

This is not a dysfunction in the child, but merely a personality style that doesn’t live up to “the norm.”

Warning Signs: When Something Might Be Wrong

Warning signs are intended to help us realize we need to proceed with care and to be alert. If a planet in a child’s birth chart appears to be under a lot of stress from multiple avenues, such as the Opposition from our earlier example, it can point to an area where a child will need extra help developing in a healthy way with regard to that life function.

This is also exceptionally valuable because it can help you know to gather and provide multiple resources for your child. For instance, if your child has Mercury in Gemini, they are likely to be highly curious and interested in a lot of different subjects. This can encourage them to get a little distracted, since so many wonderful things in this world catch their attention on a nearly constant basis. Maybe they get bored a little easily. This might not be a big problem. However, if your child has Mercury in Gemini, and it’s in the 3rd house, and it’s in Opposition to Uranus and Mars, that can indicate that Mercury (and therefore their ability to learn and communicate) is under so much complex psychological and emotional pressure inside of them that this is a difficult area for them to have success in without a lot of practice and help.

The child with this much pressure on their learning and communicative function may even find themselves, in extreme cases, with challenges such as Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) or a learning disability such as Dyslexia. These diagnoses do not have to be the show stoppers they can seem to be initially, even though it is completely understandable for us to feel anxiety or sorrow if our child has to go through a struggle we wish we could relieve them of.

This is just an indicator that this is a complex issue for them and helps alert you to the need to support your child in additional and multi-faceted ways in these areas. Their natal chart can give you specific insight into how that child will need to be supported with these difficult lessons.

This does not mean that you should go to your astrologer instead of a qualified doctor or a psychologist to find out if there are any developmental issues to be concerned with. It does mean that if your child is diagnosed with a developmental issue, astrology can be one of many tools you can utilize to help you understand the issue and plan strategies to support your child in dealing with these struggles.

To continue, click on Parent-Child Synastry by Amy Herring.