Comedic Female Monologue from "Cinema Limbo"

Audition or Classroom Performance Monologue

This comedic female monologue can be used for auditions and classroom performances. The setting is the current day in an unspecified geographic location, allowing the performer to make her own choices of accent. The character is entering college, so can be assumed to be about age 18, youthful and not yet worldly. It's appropriate for high school and college drama classes.

Context of the Monologue

This scene is taken from the short play, "Cinema Limbo" by Wade Bradford.

College-bound Vicky is an assistant manager of a movie theater. Every geeky, dorky employee is attracted to her. Although she is amused by their attraction, she has yet to fall in love. The full play is a two-person play of only 10 minutes in length. It may be used to help build the character for a performer who plans to use the monologue.

Monologue

VICKY:
I’m the kind of girl who takes pity on poor pathetic geeks who have never kissed a girl. Let’s just say that I like someone who is easily trainable—someone who will truly appreciate me. It’s sad, I know. But hey, I’ll take an ego boost wherever I can get it.

Unfortunately, these adorably nerdy boyfriends get boring after a while. I mean, I can only listen to their computer games and mathematic equations for so long.

Of course, Stuart’s different in a lot ways. He’s terrible at math, for one. And he’s pretty clueless about technology. But he’s a comic book sort of geek.

And a hopeless romantic. He’s pre-occupied with holding my hand. Everywhere we go, he wants to hold hands. Even when we’re driving.

And he’s got this new pastime. He keeps saying “I love you.” It was so sweet and wonderful the first time he said it. I almost cried, and I’m not the kind of girl who cries easily.

But by the end of the week, he must have said “I love you” about five hundred times. And then he starts adding pet names. “I love you, honey bunch.” “I love you sweetheart.” “I love you my little smoochy-woochy-coochi-koo.” I don’t even know what that last one means. It’s like he’s speaking in some brand-new, love-infected language. Who would have thought romance could be so boring?

Notes on the Monologue

In the original context, Vicky was discussing her job at the theater with fellow employee, Joshua. She is attracted to him and they banter about the job and her relationship with Stuart, who was a grade school classmate of Joshua. The monologue can also be delivered as an introspective piece rather than as part of a conversation, imagining that Vicky is voicing her thoughts to the audience rather than to Joshua.

The monologue gives the performer a chance to show a blend of innocence, naivete, callousness, and even a touch of cruelty. How much of each is displayed will be a choice of the performer. It's a piece that allows the performer to explore the themes of coming of age, exploring relationships, sensitivity to the emotions of others, and the responsibilities of adulthood.