Venting Your Feelings in a Healthy Way

Emotional Outbursts and Your Relationships

Boy shouting with sound waves
Venting / Screaming. Brand New Images / Getty Images

You have most likely heard of the Universal Law of Karma that claims "What goes around, comes around." Okay, great! But now let's say you totally buy into this idea of karma and you even take pride in how you live your life under this axiom. You choose to demonstrate integrity in your decisions and actions, and to show kindness and understanding instead of callousness, deceit, or other "ugly" behaviors and attitudes.

But, naturally, you are human and you sometimes slip up and make mistakes. Well, that's okay too. We all get tired and cranky, now and again, and aren't always as congenial as we should be when we communicate with others.

Have you ever displayed impatience or frustration with your spouse, friend, or family member for no apparent reason? This behavior is not uncommon. You probably wouldn't feel safe enough to let your guard down around just anyone. But, the people who love us unconditionally have taught us that it is permissible to throw a temper tantrum in front of them from time to time, knowing full well that they won't hold it against us.

Venting Your Feelings in a Healthy Way

It is healthy to allow ourselves to step outside of our nice postures and exhibit the not-so-nice side of our personalities now and again. Having a sympathetic ear and soft shoulder to lean can be wonderfully reassuring.

It is especially nice to have someone who will validate our right to feel the way we do. We can return the favor when it becomes their turn to vent something from the darker sides of their natures. Having an outlet for venting the emotional stuff can be a good thing, repressing resentments... not so good.

Receiving sympathy and understanding from others when we are in turmoil is comforting. However, turning to the people we love with our nasty moods and outrageous antics too frequently to receive constant reassurance is not healthy. We all want someone to acknowledge our right to feel the way we do. But, it is also beneficial to have someone around who can shed a little light on the occasions when emotional concerns have been blown out of proportion. When complaining has grown out of control the refusal to support relentless whining could be a loving response. Otherwise, we might find ourselves caught up in our emotional traps, compounding the initial pain and suffering.

Emotional Checks and Balances

Ask yourself these questions:

  • Are your emotions being validated?
  • Do you have a soft shoulder to lean on?
  • How frequent are your emotional outbursts?
  • Is there a codependency element to your relationships?
  • Do you return the favor by being the sympathetic listener at times?
  • Are you willing to hear that you may not be seeing things clearly?
  • Are there boundaries in place as to just how much complaining or ranting will be tolerated?

Do You Have a Checks and Balances System Working Within Your Relationships?

When you are an emotional basket case a good friend will offer a mixture of emotional validation, unconditional love, measured sympathy, and a wake up call, if needed, to help you recognize when you have gone too far with an obsession or self-destructive behaviors.

In a healthy relationship individuals will take turns assisting one another, keeping each other from getting pulled too deeply into the whirlpool of emotional waters.

Here's How to Vent Your Rage by Screaming it Out

Situations crop up in our lives that can become emotionally overwhelming. Feelings of anger or frustration can bubble up and make us feel crazy inside. Screaming out loud is one way of venting and releasing upsetting emotions. Releasing emotions before they get out of hand is an effective anger management maneuver, especially, if you are in the habit of squelching or burying your emotions. A few good screaming sessions can help to begin bringing repressed emotions to the surface and ease the burden of holding onto any "icky" feelings.

Please don't scream at your children, significant other, your family pet, your plants.

Or, heaven forbid, don't yell at your boss.

Assign a closet in your home for you and your family member to take turns stepping inside. You can teach your kids that it is okay to feel like screaming by allowing them to scream in a controlled manner within a private  and safe place.

You might want to drive out to the countryside and bellow out into the open air to your heart's content. Fresh air is healing in of itself. Howling at the moon in the dark of the night to allow a wild nature to run its course can also be very therapeutic. Screaming also helps to clear your throat chakra.

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