Dating Tips for Cancer

Love by Osmosis

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Full frontal dating is a challenge for Cancer, who like a Crab, likes to go into things at an angle.  What some see as shyness, is a super sensitivity to anything too direct. 

I know from being a Cancer (Sun) that sitting across from someone I don't know, with the intent of getting to know them, is too much -- even if it's a good thing!

Rule #1 for Dating:  Be Yourself.  With that in mind, here are some suggestions for dating the ultra reactive Cancerian.

Sideways Seduction

For first dates, my tip is to choose an eatery or venue where there's a secondary center of attraction that's not the Crab.  A bistro style cafe with some street action comes to mind.  However, don't choose the place with hordes of foot traffic, or your Cancer will get that in-the-fishbowl feeling. 

Circuitous dating ideas include a movie, which allows for the experience of being in each others space, and seeing what that's like.  Side-by-side seating, dinner theatre, city tours or rides in any two-seater (rickshaw, pedi-cab, etc), hit the mark.

Just Act Casual

This complements the sideways seduction, and works best of course, when you're at ease yourself.  It's a huge deal for Cancer to go on a date, and to defuse the intensity, he or she might play it blasé.  The indifferent facade is a ruse to hide the extreme sensitivity -- and sometimes mortal fear of rejection --  that lies behind it.


Being friendly and warm in a sincere way is a great starting point.  Cancer people love familiar places, and might like to take you to their favorite eateries or view.  What causes anxiety in dating?  One is not knowing what to expect.  If you're up for it, let Cancer give you a tour of the town, as an extension of Home.

  In the process, you'll get valuable intel, to know if you're compatible or not. 

Places with Atmosphere

The Cancer person has feelers that go out into a room or amphitheater as they walk in.  This can make or break your experience with them in the getting to know you phase.  Begin by choosing places that are not chaotic or crowded.   

A tip off is the lighting, like avoiding harsh glare.  A fantasy date of mine (though I'm a happily married woman now) would be an aquarium.  It has it all -- the ancillary focal point as discussed above, cool lighting that makes anyone look good, and a sense of movement (with moving fish).  Cardinal signs like Cancer like to be on move, exploring new places, even though they have a reputation for staying put. 

Keep it Local

A frazzled Cancer is one that clams up.  A tip is to keep plans simple, at least early on.  Avoid a long, convoluted journey to get to the restaurant.  Start with a place close to where the Cancer lives, with a stroll afterwards.  I realize this sounds like bending over backwards...but it stands you in good stead of seeing the Moonchild's true face.

In the beginning, staying in the vicinity is comforting to the Crab.  Cancer is a water sign, linked to all waterways and bodies.

  Going out in a vessel, paddleboat or canoe could be memorable. 

But at least at the start, avoid adventures (even local ones) that drag on and on.  If your Crab gets hungry, tired, cold, hot or overwhelmed, you'll see the fussbudget too soon.  Then the Cancer might feel their cover is blown, and retreat into his or her shell. 

Bringing it Home

You likely know that Cancers are the homebodies of the Zodiac.  Makes sense that this is where you'll see their true colors.  The Cancer's home is their refuge and citadel, so you'll have to make it through several levels of clearance, to be asked over.

This begins a whole new chapter, during which the careful Cancer wonders whether she could feel "at home" at your place, and vice versa.  And it's likely the one place where you'll finally catch sight of the elusive sensitivity that (potentially) makes the high-maintenance worthwhile.