Earth Day Jokes

Late-Night Jokes About the Celebration of Earth Day

Save the Earth, It's the Only Planet with Chocolate

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Funny Environmental Memes
Funny Climate Change Memes
• Latest Late-Night Jokes
• Classic Late-Night Jokes

"Yesterday was Earth Day. And today we went right back to throwing Jamba Juice cups in the rainforest." –Jimmy Kimmel

"I never know what to get the Earth for Earth Day. So I just bought it an iTunes gift card and buried it." –Jimmy Kimmel

" Happy Earth Day. Earth Day was founded in 1970.

It's the one day of the year we tell the Earth we love it. With the other 364 days we try to kill it." –Jimmy Kimmel

"After what we have done to it, it is almost disrespectful to have an Earth Day. It's like lice declaring a Head Day." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Today is Earth Day. It's the day we celebrate the 'three Rs:' Reduce, reuse, and, uh, Retweet? I don't know." –Jimmy Fallon

"In honor of Earth Day, Apple announced that it will recycle all of its used products for free. That's right, they're recycling Apple products. And then Samsung said, 'Beat you to it.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Today is Earth Day. At least according to the guy who saw me throw a banana peel in the blue trash can." –Seth Meyers

"I've never been a fan of Earth Day and it's hippie dippy Kumbaya orgy of drum-circle-jerks." –Stephen Colbert

"Yesterday was Earth Day, and apparently today is Find Out Yesterday Was Earth Day Day." –Conan O'Brien

"They estimate that a billion people participated in Earth Day activities. Then they all went back to driving their SUVs to the gym." –Jimmy Kimmel

"In conjunction with Earth Day, the Dutch electronics company Philips released a revolutionary new light bulb designed to last 20 years. Do you think when the guy thought of this, a light bulb went off over his head?" –Jimmy Kimmel

"You probably heard about this. Both President Obama and Vice President Joe Biden took some heat for flying separately to New York City last week because it was Earth Day, and they got heat for flying on two separate planes. Though in fairness, they can't fly together because of security reasons. Or at least that's what Obama told Biden." –Jay Leno

"Happy Earth Day to everyone. An estimated one billion people celebrate Earth Day. Al Gore, in particular, is wasted right now. " –Jimmy Kimmel

"Well, at the Copenhagen climate summit — where they talk about the environment, you know, saving the environment — the delegates had 1,200 limousines and 140 private jets, or as they call that in Malibu, 'Earth Day.'" –Jay Leno

"Well, Happy Earth Day, everybody. Yes. Today is Earth Day, or as the oil companies call it, Wednesday." --Jay Leno

"Hey, I thought this was nice. To celebrate Earth Day, a group of schoolchildren in Washington each planted a hair plug in Joe Biden's head." --Jay Leno

"Even Dick Cheney was into Earth Day. Did you see what he said today? He called for the use of only recycled water when waterboarding prisoners." --Jay Leno

"Happy Earth Day. You know, as a kid, every Earth Day I used to wake up and run down the stairs in my footie pajamas to see what Al Gore brought us.

It was just so fun. 'Look sis, it’s one of those dark brown Seventh Generation paper towels. Yeah, I love those.'" --Jimmy Fallon

"Happy Earth Day to everyone. President Obama celebrated Earth Day by flying his enormous plane to Iowa today to visit a wind power plant. There was a huge crowd on hand to greet him, partly to hear him talk about the importance of reducing our dependency on fossil fuels and partly to show their kids what a black person looks like." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Did you hear about this? Nickelodeon's asking all children to unplug electronic devices for one minute on Earth Day to teach the importance of respecting the environment. I think it's a great idea, unless the kids are visiting their grandmother in a nursing home. Then that one minute is pretty rough. 'SpongeBob killed Nana.

What happened?'" --Jimmy Fallon

"Happy birthday to Jack Nicholson today, and also it's Earth Day. Planet Earth and Jack Nicholson are different, of course — one is a giant object ravaged by years of abuse and we're running out of time to save it, and the other one is Earth. " –Craig Ferguson

"The movie 'Avatar' is out on DVD today. James Cameron wanted it to be released on Earth Day because nothing says 'save the planet' like millions of plastic DVD cases." –Craig Ferguson

"It's the 40th Earth Day, which is bad news for Earth. Once you get in your forties, your equator expands, your poles start to melt — soon you'll look as bad as Uranus." –Craig Ferguson

"What was Earth doing in the run-up to Earth Day? Well, over the last week it gave us a volcano erupting in Peru, earthquakes in Tibet, Indonesia and Japan, freak tornados in America and the Philippines, floods in Hungary, Romania, Malaysia and Kenya, wild fires in Colorado, and a category five super-cyclone that's about to destroy Darwin, Australia. Earth, could you meet me over at camera three please? Hey Earth, how's it going? So I guess kissing your ass doesn't work. We call you beautiful, precious, mother. Gave you your own day. Just like veterans and groundhogs. We even named you planet of the year in 1988 -- even though by any objective estimation that was Neptune's year. We try to make nice, and what do you do? Not only do you kill us in a thousand different ways, but when we raise your temperature by just a degree -- one little degree -- you're all, 'Oh, it's so hot now, my polar ice caps are melting!' You're a pussy! I got news for you, Earth, you're not the only rock in the neighborhood, you know what I'm saying?" --Jon Stewart

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