Humanities › English Exercise in Eliminating Wordiness in Business Writing Share Flipboard Email Print Maica / Getty Images English English Grammar An Introduction to Punctuation Writing By Richard Nordquist English and Rhetoric Professor Ph.D., Rhetoric and English, University of Georgia M.A., Modern English and American Literature, University of Leicester B.A., English, State University of New York Dr. Richard Nordquist is professor emeritus of rhetoric and English at Georgia Southern University and the author of several university-level grammar and composition textbooks. our editorial process Richard Nordquist Updated January 10, 2020 This exercise will give you practice in eliminating wordiness from workplace memos, letters, emails, and reports. Instructions:The following sentences are wordy. Without eliminating any essential information, revise each sentence to make it more concise. When you're done, compare your edited sentences with those of your classmates. It is my objective to utilize more fully and satisfactorily both my university educational experience and my skills as an editor, preferably in a full-time employment position with your firm.As per our discussion with reference to the antiquated and outmoded climate-control system in the Campus Security Building, it is my recommendation that purchase is made from a source-to-be-identified of a new, environmentally-friendly heat pump that is both cost-effective and fully compliant with all local and state regulations.On the afternoon of June 12 at the most recent meeting of the ad hoc committee on workplace communication policies, each and every member of the committee was in agreement with one another that first and foremost it is imperative that all forms of workplace communications be completely accurate and perfectly clear.In consideration of your recent email message received last week re. what is perceived to be the "excess time" required by our company to provide an effective response action to certain problems identified in the aforementioned email, please be assured that it is our policy to respond as promptly as possible to all legitimate customer concerns.An extended discussion of an improved and more robust mission statement that is aligned with the basic fundamental business objectives of this organization will require clearly structured facilitated sessions conducted in full transparency and with the active participation of designated representatives from all departments.