Funny Quotes From "Family Guy"

Take a Trip to Quahog for Some of the Raunchy Wisdom of "Family Guy"

Family Guy Season 15 DVD

With its rude and crude Griffins, the animated show Family Guy is full of memorable (and often raunchy) quotes.

"Family Guy" is an animated comedy featuring the trials and tribulations of the Griffin family of Quahog, Rhode Island. The show, which is regarded as a less family-friendly version of “The Simpsons,” is the brainchild of comedian Seth MacFarlane, who voices family patriarch Peter Griffin.  

Cast of Characters on "Family Guy"

No pop-culture reference is too obscure and no joke is too rude for "Family Guy," whose cast of characters includes Peter’s wife Lois, their weird teenagers Meg and Chris, maniacal baby Stewie and a talking pet dog named Brian.

Among the supporting "cast" are the townspeople of Quahog and Peter's friends Quagmire, Joe and Cleveland, the latter of whom is featured in a spinoff titled "The Cleveland Show."

"Family Guy"  Was Canceled and Renewed

The show has the dubious distinction of receiving a second life on the same network that canceled it. Fox almost killed "Family Guy" in 2000, citing low ratings, but gave the show a reprieve for a third season. Then in 2002, it looked like all was lost for "Family Guy," as Fox appeared to pull the plug for good.

But "Family Guy" was so popular in reruns on Cartoon Network and DVD sales of episodes were so strong that Fox revived it, and new episodes began airing in 2005.

"Family Guy" Humor: Quotes from the Show

Here are a few funny quotes from "Family Guy" that give you a taste of what the show is all about. 

  • Lois Griffin: Peter! You're bribing your daughter with a car?
    Peter Griffin: Ah, c'mon, Lois, isn't bribe just another word for love?
  • Brian Griffin: Ah, if my memory serves me, this is the physics department.
    Chris Griffin: That would explain all the gravity.
  • Peter Griffin: Brian, there's a message in my Alpha Bits. It says 'OOO'!
    Brian Griffin: Peter, those are Cheerios.
  • Meg Griffin: You could kill all the girls who are prettier than me.
    Death: Well that would just leave England.
  • Stewie Griffin: Do these Huggies make my ass look big?
  • Peter Griffin: It's already done. I dropped them all off at Toys for Toddlers last night.
    Brian Griffin: All? Peter, only one gift was for charity, the rest were for the family.
    Peter Griffin: No, the rest were from the family. Weren't they? (Pause) Oh crap. Since when did they change the meaning of "for" to "from"?
    Brian Griffin: They had a meeting about it last night.
    Peter Griffin: Why wasn't I told?
    Brian Griffin: They sent you a card, but it said "for Peter" on it so you must have thought it was from you, so you didn't... You know, it’s just easier to call you stupid.
  • Lois Griffin: Stewie why don't you play in the other room?
    Stewie Griffin: Why don't you burn in hell?
  • Brian Griffin: Face it, Peter, you get competitive about everything.
    Peter Griffin: I am so not competitive. In fact, I am the least non-competitive. So I win.