Fully Commit to Being Kind to Yourself

Be Kind to Yourself
Be Kind to Yourself!. Sean Malyon/Cultura/Getty Images

In a recent article here on my page, I referenced a quote which had caught my attention while I was working on the set of a television series.  The quote read "Commit to your future now."  This simple phrase resonated well with me, and I believe it is one that can be helpful for actors everywhere.  In order to be the best actor that you can be, it is necessary to make a commitment to yourself and to your future, promising that you will work as hard as you can in order to be successful in the entertainment industry.


As you likely already know, this industry is incredibly difficult, and following through with your personal commitment to yourself is fundamental, including remaining determined through times that are challenging.  Throughout my journey as an actor so far, I have identified two key areas which I’ve found to be particularly important in order to fulfill your commitment to your acting career.  It is imperative to focus on:  1) how kindly you treat yourself and how confidently you perceive yourself (which I will discuss here), and 2) how well you manage your time and use it productively in order to become successful (which we’ll talk about later in another article). 

Treating Yourself Well

Sharing kindness is always important.  And my actor friends are kind and talented individuals.  But unfortunately, actors are not always very supportive of themselves, and some even view themselves as being less talented - or less deserving of success- than they truly are.

  It is often said that “You are you own worst critic,” and it’s true that many of us are overly hard on ourselves.  Demanding the best of yourself isn’t a bad thing.  However being overly critical of yourself can present a problem if you’re constantly beating yourself up and not treating yourself with kindness.

  It is important to recognize the way in which you talk to yourself, and it’s equally important to be honest about how you perceive yourself.  Are you kind to yourself, and do you see yourself as being the exceptionally talented individual that you are?  Do you view yourself as being a success - or a failure?  Are you confident in your abilities as an actor or are you consumed by insecurities? 

Perception plays a key role in how you see yourself and how others see you.  If you don’t believe that you’re successful or talented, most others won’t see you as a success either.  In order to follow through with the intense commitment of an acting career, seeing yourself as a success and being good to yourself are essential in order to avoid becoming discouraged. 

An example of the importance of how we perceive ourselves occurred during the first night of a new acting class in which I’ve recently enrolled.  I observed two lovely and talented actresses perform a scene together in front of our class.  Both of these young women were talented, beautiful and seemingly very experienced actresses!  However, when I spoke with them during the break in our class, I was shocked at what I heard:  Both actresses nervously explained to me that this was their very first acting class, and they both believed that they were not very talented or prepared enough to be there.

  One actress was seriously contemplating quitting the class for good.  I couldn’t believe what they were telling me, and how hard they were being on themselves!  I explained how – from my perspective (and I suspect this to be true of many others in the class) – it appeared that both actresses knew exactly what they were doing, and that both were very competent!  It was clear that both of these talented actresses needed a little bit of a confidence boost in order to see each of their incredible potential.

Believe in Yourself and Be Confident!

It is crucial that you perceive yourself as the success that you already are in this industry.  Committing yourself to and following through with an acting career will require that you have a lot of confidence in yourself.  Building your confidence begins by believing in and being kind to yourself.

  If you don’t believe in yourself, who else is going to believe in you?  (Aside from me, of course!) 

Now it is completely understandable that whether you are brand new to the business or have been here for quite some time, it can be difficult to feel confident.  If you’re just starting out as an actor, you may feel intimidated.  And if you’ve been an actor for a while, you’ve likely experienced a fair share of rejection – which can also be very discouraging.  But remember that most individuals around you do not know whether or not you’re brand new or are very experienced in Hollywood.  All that he or she will see is whether or not you are confident in your abilities and in yourself.  If you fully believe in yourself, confidence will shine through everything that you do in your career – and in your life!  

Project Confidence

Think about the last time you watched someone audition, perform, or even give a speech for example.  When the individual giving a performance looks nervous, the audience immediately recognizes that nervousness, too.  Yet when a performer projects confidence, confidence is exactly what will be perceived by an audience.  Personally I used to be very nervous when singing in front of an audience for example. Those nerves would show, and I would subsequently be upset with myself.  The same used to be true for auditioning, when I’d leave the room angry with myself for having so much anxiety!  I wasn’t always very kind to myself.  Again, treating yourself in a way that is not kind is certainly not productive.


After sticking with my commitment to myself and my career, I have developed much more confidence over time, and that is what I project today - not feelings of nervousness.  This requires time and patience with oneself. 

Working as an actor requires a lot of energy and there are many ups and downs.  If you’re going to fully dedicate yourself to this career path, one of the most important areas to commit to is to treat yourself with kindness.  Focus on building your confidence and perceiving yourself as a successful individual, regardless of what level you are at in the industry.  You absolutely are a success and have so much to offer!