Funny Birthday Quotes

Make Birthdays Memorable With Funny Birthday Quotes

USA, Utah, Provo, Mid-section of young woman holding birthday cake
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Nothing works better than the gift of laughter. Get a giggle or a guffaw when you send birthday greetings to your friends, family, or business associates. Some people get glum about seeing another milestone birthday, and a laugh can help ease the melancholy. Others are hoping to be remembered on their special day. So, spread the joy with these funny birthday quotes. Make your loved ones' birthdays memorable.

Anonymous
"Birthdays are nature's way of telling us to eat more cake."

Steven Wright
"Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, 'Happy Birthday.'"

Samuel Johnson
"The return of my birthday, if I remember it, fills me with thoughts which it seems to be the general care of humanity to escape."

Father Larry Lorenzoni
"Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.​"

Robert Frost
"Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty."

Erma Bombeck
"A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday."

Mary Schmich
Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.

George Burns
"People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit."

Robert Frost
"A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age."

John Glenn
"There is still no cure for the common birthday."