Funny Engineering Jokes

It's possible you might have to be an engineer to truly appreciate engineering jokes and humor, but if you get the jokes, they are certainly funny!

Lazy Engineers

Engineering is all about laziness in the name of a better life.

Ill-Advised

A fire engineer, who could not speak Arabic, was finding it difficult to market his newly invented fire extinguisher in the Arabian continent. He consulted an expert who advised him to use photographic symbols. Now he proceeded with a three-stage demonstration photographs, namely (1) a car on fire, (2) a man fighting the fire with the device, then (3) a clean car. Meanwhile, the Arabs read from right to the left, so they avoided the device completely.

Advances and Details

A young damsel was asked why she would not marry either of her engineer or lawyer boyfriends. She replied' the engineers make advances and add no detail, the lawyers argue details and make no advance'.

Engineering Joke

An engineer is someone who uses a slide rule to multiply two by two; gets an answer of 3.99 and calls it 4 to the nearest significant figure.

Light Bulbs

How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They wouldn't do it. It's a hardware problem.

Chemical Engineer Vs. Chemist

What's the difference between a chemical engineer and a chemist? Answer: about $50k a year

Chemical Engineer and Chemist

What's the difference between a chemical engineer and a chemist? A chemical engineer does for profit what a chemist does for fun.

Wife or Mistress?

An architect, artist, and engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with their wives or mistresses. The architect said, "I like spending time with my wife building a firm foundation of a marriage." The artist said, "I enjoy the time I spend with my mistress because of all the passion and energy." The engineer said "I enjoy both. If you have a wife and a mistress, both women think you are with the other so you can go to work get more done"

MechE and CivE

The Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers post below can add Chemical Engineers as engineers that build targets that explode really well.

The Physicist

A physicist was sitting in his room alone and realized that he felt depressed. So he went to a psychologist to see if the psychologist could help him feel better again. After a little bit of introduction and talking about the physicist's life, the psychologist looks at his notes and tells the physicist, "Well, I think I know what brings you down the most."‏ "Well, what is it?" asked the physicist.‏ "Gravity."

Definition of an Engineer

What is the definition of an engineer? Answer: Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had, in a way you don't understand.

It Takes One to Know One

Engineer and Mathematician (males) were given the opportunity to compete for a very attractive woman. But there was one condition: "You can only run half the remaining distance between you and the lady". Eng. sprinted forward while Math. didn't. "Why aren't you running?" Asked members of the Committee. "Because, by definition, I will never be allowed to reach my target." "And you Eng. why are you running? Don't you know the same? Yes," said Eng. "my learned friend is correct. But I will get close enough for all practical purposes."