17 Funny Halloween Quotes to Make You Laugh

Young girl with a jack-o-lantern on her head grinning.


Halloween is a festival of chills and thrills. Gear up to meet people in bizarre costumes. Join the Halloween celebration with your own brand of freaky fetish. Bake skull cookies, mix dragon blood beverages, and eat eyeball scones. Surprise your guests with funny Halloween quotes scribbled on your wall as graffiti. You can make your Halloween party a memorable one with a touch of creativity.

Halloween Around the World

Halloween traditions vary by geography. If you are in Austria, you would probably leave some bread and water for the departed souls. Ireland, from where Halloween is said to originate, celebrates Halloween in spectacular style. Visit Dublin, Ireland, for the Halloween festival fiesta. In the U.S., Halloween is second only to Christmas. Children go door-to-door in spooky costumes, collecting treats from friendly neighbors. Adults have “Halloween nights” with themed parties and pumpkin pies. The Swedish like to celebrate Halloween by remembering their deceased friends and relatives. Honoring the dead by lighting candles by their graves is the Swedish Halloween tradition.

Other countries like Russia, Mexico, Sweden, Germany, Japan, and Madagascar also celebrate Halloween in their own unique way. Whatever country you are in, make sure that you have a fun-filled Halloween night. Here are some funny Halloween quotes to get you into the spooky mood!

Halloween Quotations

Rita Rudner

"Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, 'Never take candy from strangers.' And then they dressed me up and said, 'Go beg for it.' I didn’t know what to do! I’d knock on people’s doors and go, 'Trick or treat.' 'No, thank you.'"

Fernando Pessoa

"Look, there's no metaphysics on earth like chocolates."

Jean Baudrillard

"There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world."

"On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me."

Richard Harris Barham

"Ghosts, like ladies, never speak till spoke to."

Lloyd Douglas

"If a man harbors any sort of fear, it makes him landlord to a ghost."

Miguel de Cervantes

"Fear has many eyes and can see things underground."


"I'll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween."

Nina Willis Walter

"The witches fly
Across the sky,
The owls go, 'Who? Who? Who?'
The black cats yowl
And green ghosts howl,
'Scary Halloween to you!'"

Scottish Saying

"From ghoulies and ghosties and long-leggedy beasties and things that go bump in the night, Good Lord, deliver us!"

Steve Almond

"Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night."

Dee Snider

"Halloween is huge in my house and we really get into the 'spirits' of things."

Conan O'Brien

"This Halloween the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him."

"There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls."

"I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself than be crowded on a velvet cushion."

"Everyone is a moon and has a dark side, which he never shows to anybody."

Drew Carey

"I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what they think of me?'"


Morrison, Patt. "Halloween is turning into a worldwide holiday. Why do so many people love to be scared?" Los Angeles Times, October 31, 2018.