Funny Halloween Sayings

Join the Laughter Club: Funny Halloween Sayings

Halloween witches and devil toasting cocktails
Betsie Van Der Meer/Taxi/Getty Images

Halloween brings out the best and worst in people. Some Halloween revelers put on their wicked thinking hats and come up with naughty pranks. Therefore, you have a howling banshee prop, creaking floors, fake spiders, and slimy, green goop splattered around.

Halloween is not for the faint-hearted, as they may become the target of pranksters. However, Halloween is not just about pranks. If you want to enjoy Halloween without the spooky business, host a party where you invite people to show up in funny costumes.

You will be amazed at the creativity that people display.

Use these funny Halloween sayings in your party invitations. It will inspire creativity and out-of-the-box ideas. Friends will admire your wit and enthusiasm as they feel encouraged to add to the fun.


  • River Phoenix
    Acting is like a Halloween mask that you put on.
  • Jane Badler
    Like at Halloween: I knew I'd arrived when I saw people dressing up on Halloween as my character.
  • Doug Coupland
    If human beings had genuine courage, they'd wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween.
  • Jerry Seinfeld
    Then, finally, the third year, begging the parents, I got the Superman Halloween costume. Cardboard box, self-made top, mask included. Remember the rubber band on the back of that mask? That was a quality item there, wasn't it? That was good for about 10 seconds before it snapped out of that cheap little staple they put it in there with.
  • Tracy Chapman
    I dressed up as a veterinarian for a Halloween costume party. I had the lab coat. I got a couple of stuffed animals for patients and put bandages on them.
  • Tina Yothers
    They did that little thing on South Park, and they mentioned my name and had a character of me judging a Halloween contest. It was really funny. That made me the coolest aunt on earth.
  • Lindsay Lohan, Mean Girls
    Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.
  • Conan O'Brien
    This Halloween, the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him.
  • Dave Barry
    I love Halloween. It reminds me of my happy childhood days as a student at Wampus Elementary School in Armonk, N.Y., when we youngsters used to celebrate Halloween by making decorations out of construction paper and that white paste that you could eat.
  • Dave Barry
    Maybe, this year, as a nation, we should try to get back to a more traditional kind of Halloween. For example, instead of letting our kids watch modern horror movies, with their "high-tech" special effects, we should rent some old traditional horror movies, such as the 1941 classic "The Wolf Man," starring Lon Chaney Jr. There is nothing at all special about the effects in this movie. When Lon turns into a wolf, you see Lon, then you see the moon, then you see Lon again, and... there's more hair on him! If you look closely, you can actually see the makeup person's hand darting out of the frame.
  • Chris Rock
    Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special.
  • Jerry Seinfeld
    So the first time you hear the concept of Halloween when you're a kid your brain can't even process the information. You're like: "What is this? What did you say?" "What did you say about giving out candy? Who's giving out candy?" "Everyone that we know is just giving out candy!"
  • David Russell
    We live in a Newtonian world of Einsteinian physics ruled by Frankenstein logic.
  • Dave Barry
    "You kids have fun, and be home by Thanksgiving!" our parents would call to us on Halloween night, as we staggered out the front door, weighed down by hundreds of pounds of concealed vandalism supplies, including enough raw eggs to feed Somalia for decades. By morning, thanks to our efforts, the entire neighborhood would be covered with a layer of congealed shaving cream and toilet paper that, around certain unpopular neighbors' homes, was hundreds of feet thick. This is how the Appalachian Mountains were formed.
  • Jerry Seinfeld
    They come to the door... they always ask you the same stupid questions: "What are you supposed to be?" "I'm supposed to be done by now."
  • Kurt Vonnegut
    Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.
  • Lloyd Douglas
    If a man harbors any sort of fear, it makes him landlord to a ghost.