15 Funny Insults Found In The Urban Dictionary

Next time someone insults you, be prepared to retaliate!

There are literally thousands of funny, scary, and downright disgusting definitions on the Urban Dictionary site, but none crack me up more than the words whose sole purpose is to insult someone.  Similar to some of the more bizarre web expressions and acronyms, these ridiculous but very funny word definitions are sure to make you laugh, while also weeping quietly for today's youth.  

So here they are, fifteen of the greatest insults currently found on the Urban Dictionary.  Don't blame me for telling you that these words exist... I'm just the messenger!  Besides, I don't need your negatons, dudes.  Not one bit.

You might also like: 15 Totally Funny Definitions in the Urban Dictionary.

I Am A Special Snowflake
Via Meme Generator.

"The Special Snowflake (Also referred to as one with the "Special Snowflake Syndrome" or "SSS") is a person who believes they are different and unique from everyone else because of something there are or do."

Use it in a sentence: Carrie thinks she's such a special snowflake ever since she  More »

Via Imgur.

*Note: Pictured here is "Dickbutt," a popular trolling picture on sites like Imgur."

Can't decide whether to insult someone by calling them a dick or an ass?  Well, now there's this handy portmanteau that allows you to call them both things at once.  We live in a magical age, people.  Magical.

Use it in a sentence: "My dickass husband won't run to the store to buy me more cigarettes and wine coolers." More »

Via Urban Dictionary.

"A diva, mostly from urban cities and ghettos, who has reason to believe she is every man's eye candy. Unfortunately, she's wrong."

Use it in a sentence: That chick in the 4" stilettos thinks she's so hot, but she's totally ratchet."

And here you thought "ratchet" meant socket wrench! Silly you. More »

French Baguette
Via Etsy.

The female version of "douchebag."

Use it in a sentence: "My teacher gave me detention. She's being such a douchebaggette." More »

funny virgin
Via Quickmeme.

Short for "virgin," this word is the perfect insult for high school kids who want to seem like they have life experience to hurl at one another.

Use it in a sentence: "What a loser. That guy's a total virg." More »

Keep Calm Asipire to Mediocrity
Via Meme Generator.

 This is what we used to call a "double-sided compliment."  At first glance, a mediocrement sounds like a compliment... but then the double meaning kicks in, and you realize you just got dissed.

Use it in a sentence:  "Then she told me I wasn't driving as badly as I did last time she rode with me.  What a mediocrement." More »

Overly Attached Girlfriend meme
Via YouTube.

You know the (lame) old stereotype about how women can sometimes take things the wrong way?  That's what this phrase means; someone said something and you used "your woman ears" to hear it, so you got bent out of shape.

Use it in a sentence: "I told my mom she looked like she'd lost weight, but she had her woman ears on and yelled at me for calling her fat." More »

Phteven the dog
Via Imgur.

 A man who has sex with an ugly woman.

Use it in a sentence: "Did you see who Kyle went home with?  He is such a doggyknobber!" More »

funny kid dope ass swag
Via We Know Memes.

Your head is, you know, made of douche.  Douchenoggin.

Use it in a sentence: "You're such a douchenoggin!"

"What does that mean?  I don't even speak German!" More »

To be "fat, hairy, and made of trash."  Ouch.

Use it in a sentence: "The guy who works in the cubicle next to mine is such a ferger."

  More »

Scrubs So's Your Face
Via gfycat.

"So is your face." 

Use it in a sentence:  "These mashed potatoes are really lumpy."

"SIYF." More »

Justin Bieber for Esquire
Via Esquire.

Used to describe an unpleasant person, this word can also be used in place of calling someone a "bitch."  Obviously, the word was derived from the last name of a certain pop singer named Justin Beiber. 

Use it in a sentence: "What do you mean you don't want to get your hands dirty?  Don't be such a Beiber." More »

Via Urban Dictionary.

This definition is all "metaphysical," and stuff.  A negaton is a bit of negative energy that other people can absorb.  Negatons put people in a bad mood.

Use it in a sentence: "I don't need your negatons today, dude.  You're bringing me down."

  More »

Via Urban Dictionary.

"Someone who is so stupid it makes you want to stab your eyes so you never have to look at them again."

Use it in a sentence: I drove two hours out of my way just to avoid having to talk to my deadshit ex." More »

Bill O'Reilly

Via LiberalAmerica.org.

Synonymous for crap, poop, etc.

Use it in a sentence: "I can't believe I stepped in some Bill O'Reilly. If you need me, I'll be outside scraping off my shoes."