Funny Quotes About Life

The Inspirational, Witty, and Poignant

Carl Sandburg Seated Smiling
Carl Sandburg.

Bettmann/Getty Images

Human beings have been pondering, debating, and writing about life for thousands of years. Here are some funny quotes about life from well-known writers and historical figures. No matter how life is going for you, just remember that sometimes you just have to laugh. It's all about perspective.

Alan Bennett

"Life is rather like a tin of sardines—we're all of us looking for the key."

Carl Sandburg

"Life is like an onion: You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep."

Charles Schulz

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?"

"Life is so constructed that an event does not, cannot, will not, match the expectation."

Elbert Hubbard

"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."

Douglas Adams

"Life...is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast."

"He who has a why to live can bear almost any how."

Alice Roosevelt Longworth

"I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches."

"Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh."

Anatole French

"The average man does not know what to do with his life yet wants another one which will last forever."

J. P. Getty

“My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil.”

T. S. Eliot

“The journey, not the arrival, matters.”

“Do not follow where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”

"If you are going through hell, keep going."

Douglas Adams

“There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.”

Mark Twain

"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."

Ray Kroc

"Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get."

Mahatma Gandhi 

"There is more to life than increasing its speed." 

Maya Angelou 

"I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way (s)he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights." 

Abraham Lincoln 

"Everyone desires to live long, but no one would be old."

Mother Teresa 

"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much."

Robert Louis Stevenson

"Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seed that you plant."

W. Somerset Maugham

"It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it."  

Mark Twain

“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.”

Voltaire

“Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget tossing in the lifeboats.”

Sydney Harris

“When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard,' I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?'”

Terry Pratchett

“Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.”

Jim Harrison

“The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth.”

W. H. Auden

“We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don’t know.”

Abraham Lincoln

“The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.”

Bernard Baruch

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

Dalai Lama

“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.”

Dorothy Parker

“The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.”

Douglas Adams

“Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.”

George W. Bush

“To those of you who received honors, awards, and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you, too, can be president of the United States.”