24 Funny One-Liners to Tell at Parties

These corny jokes are guaranteed to get the crowd laughing with – or at – you

Via Getty Images/Thomas Barwick. ​

Most of us aren't stand-up comedians, and we don't walk around with a full repertoire of funny jokes to share at parties. That's why it's helpful to have a good one-liner in your back pocket. A reliable joke never fails to break the ice during social interactions, and goodness knows some of us can use all the help we can get in those situations!

Every so often, the good people of the Ask Reddit community get together and reveal their favorite short joke. Thanks to them, it's easier than ever to memorize one or two quips to fill those awkward silences at your next backyard barbecue. Next time you're at a loss for words, try out one of these one-liners and watch your popularity soar!*

*Results not guaranteed. Your mileage may vary. Please joke responsibly.

01
of 24

Did Not See That Coming

Via Getty Images/EvanKafka.

"Dad comes to his son and tells him he's adopted. The boy screams. 'I knew it! I wanna see my real parents!'

Dad replies, 'We are your real parents, son. Pack your stuff, they're waiting.'"

ciprex

02
of 24

Well, Well, Well, Very Funny

Via Getty Images/Arsenio Marrero.

"Why did the old woman fall into the well?"

"Because she couldn’t see that well."

tocamix90

03
of 24

Logical Thinking

Via Getty Images/Carina König / EyeEm.

"Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat?"

"Because if they fell forwards they'd still be in the boat."

Natural_Justice

04
of 24

Jokes for Hungry People

Via Getty Images/Donna Day.

"Well I'm sure everybody here already knows about Murphy's Law...but you guys probably don't know about Cole's law, am I right?"

"What's Cole's Law?"

"It's thinly sliced cabbage. Sometimes it has vinaigrette or mayonnaise."

mystriddlery

05
of 24

Ha Ha, Very Punny

Via Getty Images/Ian Dennis.

"I didn't know my dad was a construction site thief, but when I got home all the signs were there."

Zyracksis

06
of 24

Good Ol' Grandpa

Via Getty Images/Westend61.

"I'll never forget my grandfathers last words to me before he kicked the bucket. He looked me in the eyes and said, 'Son, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?'"

Rockatelli

07
of 24

Speaking of Grandfathers...

Via Getty Images/Andrew John Simpson.

"My grandfather had the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Central Park Zoo."
c**tpuffin

08
of 24

I See What You Did There

Via Getty Images/Vincent Besnault.

"It's always hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they're always taking things literally."

Zyracksis

09
of 24

Now You Tell Me

Via Getty Images/Westend61.

"If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic."

rotobot

10
of 24

Shoutout to Bel-Air

Via Giphy

"How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm?"

"Look for the fresh prints."

taeloth

11
of 24

Here's Something Heartfelt

Via Getty Images/Michael Heim / EyeEm.

"A man is at the funeral of an old friend. He approaches the dead man's wife, and asks if he could say a word. The wife says that yes, he could. The man stands up, clears his throat, and says 'Plethora.'

The wife smiles, and says 'Thank you, that means a lot.'"

BBLTHRW

12
of 24

What a Crappy Situation

Via Getty Images/Eric O'Connell.

"A thief broke into the police headquarters during the night and took all the toilets.

Cops say they have nothing to go on."

russianout

13
of 24

So Flaggin' Funny

Via Getty Images/Junior Gonzalez.

"What's the the best thing about living in Switerland?"

"I don't know, but the flag's a big plus."

lonesomeduck

14
of 24

A Historical Question

Via Getty Images/Razvan Chisu / EyeEm.

"Where does a king keep his armies?"

"In his sleevies."

Galeosray

15
of 24

Pondering Is Dangerous

Via Getty Images/ Dalton Rasmussen / EyeEm. Dalton Rasmussen / EyeEm

"I was wondering, why does a Frisbee appear larger the closer it gets? Then, it hit me."

nickachu

16
of 24

Solid Advice

Via Getty Images/Graiki.

"If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving."

thrackers0d

17
of 24

Well, It Makes Sense

Via Getty Images/Elles Rijsdijk / EyeEm.

"Where do you find a dog with no legs?"

"Right where you left it."

SixFive65

18
of 24

It's a Fact

Via Getty Images/GARO.

"Studies show that women who carry extra weight live longer than men who bring it up."

LnkSNS

19
of 24

Well, Duh.

Via Getty Images/Elva Etienne.

"What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A stick."

joliesmama

20
of 24

I Can Relate

Via Getty Images/Andy Ryan.

"What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?"

"I don't know and I don't care."

dizzley

21
of 24

That's Not Very Comforting

Via Getty Images/Glow Wellness.

"What do you call someone who graduates last in their class from Med school?"

"Doctor."

jcpearce

22
of 24

How to End a Discussion about Politics

Via Getty Images/Steve Craft.

"If I agreed with you, then we'd both be wrong."

zane_not_zane

23
of 24

Rim Shot!

Via Getty Images/Mike Kemp.

"I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster. If anything, it made him more sluggish."

Impedimenta85

24
of 24

That's a Step Up

Via Giphy 

"Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor."

Psychological_Ring