Humanities › Literature Funny Quotes About Men Share Flipboard Email Print Jupiterimages/The Image Bank/Getty Images Literature Quotations Funny Quotes Love Quotes Great Lines from Movies and Television Quotations For Holidays Best Sellers Classic Literature Plays & Drama Poetry Shakespeare Short Stories Children's Books By Simran Khurana Education Expert M.B.A, Human Resource Development and Management, Narsee Monjee Institution of Management Studies B.S., University of Mumbai, Commerce, Accounting, and Finance Simran Khurana is the Editor-in-Chief for ReachIvy, and a teacher and freelance writer and editor, who uses quotations in her pedagogy. our editorial process Simran Khurana Updated May 25, 2019 If you're in a relationship, have been in a relationship but aren't any more or hope someday to be in one, this list is for you. Men have their share of quirks and idiosyncrasies; which generally befuddle women. But only a man can understand what goes on in the mind of a man. Here are some rib-tickling funny quotes about men from the inimitable Mae West and Oscar Wilde and a few others. Oscar Wilde "How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being?" "Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot." "Between men and women, there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship." "Women are never disarmed by compliments; men always are." Elayne Boosler "When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking." Mae West "Men are all alike -- except the one you've met who's different." "Men are easy to get but hard to keep." "It's not the men in my life, it's the life in my men." "Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you." "Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can't figure out what from." "All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else." William Shakespeare "Well, I will find you 20 lascivious turtles ere one chaste man." "Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more, Men were deceivers ever, One foot in sea and one on shore, To one thing constant never." Mignon McLaughlin "Few women care what a man looks like, and a good thing too." Bruce Willis "On the one hand, we'll never experience childbirth. On the other hand, we can open all our own jars." Jeanne-Marie Roland "The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs." Will Rogers "Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something he looks worse." Oliver Wendell Holmes "Man has will, but woman has her way." Benjamin Frankin "If Jack's in love, he's no judge of Jill's beauty." Lucille Ball "A man who correctly guesses a woman's age may be smart, but he's not very bright." Martha Gellhorn "I know enough to know that no woman should ever marry a man who hated his mother."