Funny Relationship Quotes

Put a Smile on Your Face with a Funny Relationship Quote

Man and Woman Laughing
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Funny situations occur when you have complicated relationships. Look around you, and you'll see that chaotic relationship sometimes lead to amusing situations. Movies are made about relationships gone bad or just beginning. When you go to a party, you can observe couples and tell which couple had a fight before coming to the party and which one will have a fight after the party.

When relationships go sour, it helps to look at the funny side.

Instead of being anxious about your love life, make a joke about it and move on. If you have been through heartbreak, laugh at your mistake. The quicker you bounce back, the easier you are able to move on and develop new relationships. Here are funny relationship quotes that will put a smile on your face the next time you are feeling down over your relationship.

Linda Festa
"The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman is that one of them be good at taking orders."

Erma Bombeck
"Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery."

Frederick Ryder
"When a man goes on a date, he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows."

Sarah Dessen
"Relationships don't always make sense. Especially from the outside."

Jonathan Carroll
"You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip."

Samuel Goldwyn
"A bachelor's life is no life for a single man."

Mark Twain
"What would men be without women?

Scarce, sir, mighty scarce."

Bobby Kelton
"The difference between being in a relationship and being in prison is that in prisons they let you play softball on the weekends."

Agatha Christie
"An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her."

Glenn Beck
"Remember, beneath every cynic there lies a romantic, and probably an injured one."

Benjamin Franklin
"Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterward."

Laurence J. Peter
"It's better to have loved and lost than to do 40 pounds of laundry a week."

Henry Youngman
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage.

We take the time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays; I go Fridays."


"Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it."

Ronnie Shakes
"Relationships give us a reason to live. Revenge."

Rita Rudner
"When I want to end a relationship I just say, "You know, I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have your children." Sometimes they leave skid marks."

Brendan Francis
"A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him."

Jim Bishop
"Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla."

Albert Einstein
"Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed."

Jacqueline Bisset
"Ideally, couples need three lives: one for him, one for her and one for them together."