Funny St. Patrick's Day Quotes and Toasts

A Little Irish Drinking Humor for St. Patrick's Day

Chicago Celebrates St. Patricks Day
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Irish people love to joke about themselves, and their love for alcohol has long been a theme in St. Patrick's Day humor—and their own good-natured ribbing of each other. Get a taste of the Irish sense of humor with these funny St. Patrick's Day quotes, and use these toasts the next time you're in your favorite pub with friends.

Irish Blessing

May the Good Lord take a liking to you...but not too soon!

May the Lord keep you in his hand and never close his fist too tight.

Author Unknown

Saint Patrick was a gentleman
Who through strategy and stealth
Drove all the snakes from Ireland
Here's a drinkee to his health!
But not too many drinkees
Lest we lose ourselves and then...
Forget the good Saint Patrick
And see them snakes again!

Anyone acquainted with Ireland knows that the morning of St. Patrick's Day consists of the night of the 17th of March flavored strongly with the morning of the 18th.

Daryl Stout

Why should you never iron a 4-leaf clover? You don't want to press your luck.

Irish Saying

There are only two kinds of people in the world, The Irish and those who wish they were.

There are many good reasons for drinking,
One has just entered my head.
If a man doesn't drink when he's living,
How in the hell can he drink when he's dead?

An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto one blade of grass to keep from falling off the earth.

Charles M. Madigan

St. Patrick—one of the few saints whose feast day presents the opportunity to get determinedly whacked and make a fool of oneself all under the guise of acting Irish.

St. Patrick's Day Toast

Here’s to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold beer—and another one!

Irish Toast

It is better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money!

May you die in bed at 95 years, shot by a jealous husband (or wife).

May the sound of happy music,

And the lilt of Irish laughter,

fill your heart with gladness,

that stays forever after.

May your glass be ever full.
May the roof over your head be always strong.
And may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead.

When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
So, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven!

May you always have a clean shirt, a clear conscience, and enough coins in your pocket to buy a pint!

May the winds of fortune sail you,

may you sail a gentle sea,

may it always be the other guy who says

"This drink's on me."

May your doctor never earn a dollar out of you and may your heart never give out. May the 10 toes of your feet steer you clear of all misfortune, and before you're much older, may you hear much better toasts than this.