Hilariously Weird Knitwear You Won't Believe Actually Exists

Via youbentmywookie.com.
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20 Funny and Weird Knitted Items

Via ufunk.net.

Just in case you were thinking about sleeping tonight.... Sorry!

Knitting and crocheting seem like fun hobbies, and some people are truly talented at creating funky handmade scarves, hats, sweaters, and so on. Yet like all things crafty, there's always potential to let your sense of humor shine and create something that is a little less practical than it is hysterical. Case in point; remember these fabulously raunchy cross stitches?

The knitted and crocheted items here in this gallery are definitely not your average cable knit made with love by Grandma, and the people who make these crazy pieces of knitwear clearly don't take themselves too seriously! That's kind of refreshing, isn't it? So join the fun and have a laugh at some of the weirdest things to have ever happened to an innocent ball of yarn.

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20 Funny and Weird Knitted Items: Have Sweater, Will Travel

Via Imgur.

This man made waves online after a friend uploaded an album of his custom-made sweaters to Imgur. Apparently, he hand-makes a new sweater for every location he plans to visit in the world, then gets a picture of himself wearing the sweater in front of said location. The Imgur album contains glorious shots of the wild-haired knitting man and his fabulous sweaters in locales both impressive and mundane, from Times Square in New York City to a random field filled with powerline towers. Now that's commitment!

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20 Funny and Weird Knitted Items: Knitted Bikini

Via vintag.es.

Just what every woman wants: A nice warm, snuggly knitted bikini to wear while lounging around the pool. 

Of course I'm being facetious here. For one thing, have you ever seen what happens to knitwear when it gets wet? No thank you!

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20 Funny and Weird Knitted Items: Sexy Rainbow Shorts

Via viralityfacts.com.

Not even these sexy male legs posing provocatively can save the horror that is KNITTED SHORTS. These things even make jean shorts ("jorts") seem like a reasonable fashion item. And that's saying something.

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20 Funny and Weird Knitted Items: Full Body Sweater

Via mydisguises.com.

Somebody's grandma really loves him and wants him to stay warm! REALLY, REALLY WARM. From head to toe. Forever.

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20 Funny and Weird Knitted Items: Ugly Sweater Built For Two

Via bakLOL.

It's so cute when old people make regrettable choices together, like riding a roller coaster or wearing one gigantic ugly sweater.

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20 Funny and Weird Knitted Items: Paging Derek Zoolander

Via The Chive.

"It's called fashion; look it up."

What I really want to know is are we ever going to get some BIG mittens around here, or what? These tiny mittens look ridiculous!

In all seriousness, this is a male model walking in a real fashion show. This is real life, folks. You can't make this stuff up.

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20 Funny and Weird Knitted Items: Put On Your Thinking Cap

Via purlspatterns.wordpress.com.

"Check out the big brain on Brad!"

Normally I advise people to do anything possible to keep their brains on the inside of their skull, but in this case, I'll make an exception.

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20 Funny and Weird Knitted Items: Rasta Baby

Via aliexpress.com.

This yarn wig is perfect for when you want your toddler to look like a young Jerry Garcia. Hey kid, play Touch of Grey.

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20 Funny and Weird Knitted Items: Nose Warmers

Via Etsy/auntmartymadeit.

These are nose warmers, which are designed to keep your nose warm, and this is a thing that actually exists. Yes, really! I am as surprised as you are.

You can see more of them here on Etsy.

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20 Funny and Weird Knitted Items: Looks... Cozy?

Via Pinterest.

You call it "wearable art," I call you a nutbar. Let's agree to disagree.

But seriously, can you even imagine throwing this beast on and going out in the world? Let me know how that works out for you!

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20 Funny and Weird Knitted Items: Crochet Toilet Paper

Via mysweetcheaplife.com.

Oh yeah, that looks totally hygienic. I'm all for being green, but c'mon.

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20 Funny and Weird Knitted Items: Scary Clown Mask

Via Imgur.

What a fun mask! It's perfect for when you want to keep your face warm, but you also want to appear terrifying in public. All you need is a van and some candy and you've got the full serial killer starter pack.

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20 Funny and Weird Knitted Items: A Tiny Car Cozy

Via oddstuffmagazine.com.

Just in case your tiny car gets chilly, why not crochet it a humongous car cozy? Seems like a totally reasonable use of your time. 

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20 Funny and Weird Knitted Items: Stripper Pole

Via Tumblr/knitdreams.

Now any pole can become a stripper pole. Yay?

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20 Funny and Weird Knitted Items: Condiment Hat

Via youbentmywookie.com.

The look on this man's face says it all, doesn't it?

"Damn it, Aunt Judy. Please just take your picture and let me slink away with a shred of dignity left."

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20 Funny and Weird Knitted Items: Warm Enough Yet?

Via Videobash.

Still not the weirdest thing we've ever spotted on a subway, but it's close.

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20 Funny and Weird Knitted Items: Jaunty Donut Hat

Via earthporm.com.

One doesn't simply wear a donut hat; one also has to wear said donut hat at a slightly jaunty angle.

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20 Funny and Weird Knitted Items: Welcome to Futurama

Via AliExpress.com.

Why not Zoidberg? (Because it's freaky as heck, that's why.)

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20 Funny and Weird Knitted Items: Willie Warmer

Via yarnivore.com.

And last but not least, the most embarrassing and ridiculous (not to mention itchy!) knitted item ever made, the Willie Warmer (TM). Yes, it's exactly what it looks like, and it's meant to be used exactly as you think it would be used. What a time to be alive.

There you have it! 20 of the wackiest uses for knitting talent ever. NEXT UP: If you like these, you'll love these crazy-raunchy cross stitches!