George Carlin Sayings Reveal the Man Behind the "Seven Dirty Words"

George Carlin Sayings Challenge Common Sense

Standup Comedian George Carlin
George Carlin. Credit: Paul Natkin / Contributor/Getty Images

Read these George Carlin sayings with a straight face. I challenge you to try and best not to laugh; not even a smirk. Quite likely, you would be smiling after reading the second saying, smirking at the third one and doubling up in laughter by the time you reach the fourth George Carlin saying. It is tough to keep a straight face with George Carlin's sayings. He attacks common sense with a vengeance.

George Carlin was not the run-of-the-mill standup comedians. He evolved his art form by keenly observing the taste of his audience. The George Carlin we know of the early 60s was far different from the George Carlin of the 70s. He even challenged status quo, conventional comedy to create his own brand of humour.

George Carlin: A Life of Controversy and Skirmish With the Law

Carlin also led a controversial life, often being on the wrong side of the law for his brazen attitude towards law enforcing agencies. When Lenny Bruce got arrested, Carlin invited trouble with the police by cheekily stating that he did not believe in governmental systems and regulations. He got arrested along with his friend Bruce. George Carlin also got booted out of a Las Vegas show for ribald humour that didn't go well with the prudish American audience of that time. He even got banned for being a serial drug user.

Perhaps the craziest thing any comedian would do is to create a national level crisis with his bratty humour.

George Carlin's recording titled, "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television." In this recording, George Carlin goes on to list 7 "dirty words," and goes on to add why they are not necessarily bad words. This led to a lawsuit against Carlin, in which the Supreme Court made regulatory policies to exercise control on broadcasting indecent content on radio.

However, that episode did not steal the shine from George Carlin's work. He continued challenging social taboos, modern life hypocrisy, and governmental bodies. 

What Makes George Carlin Sayings So Funny?

George Carlin had a way of unsettling people with his hard-hitting truths which were laced with humour. His slant take on politics always kept controversial politicians shifting on their seats. In a way, you could say that Carlin tapped into the collective consciousness of a new America that was open to new ideas, radical change, and bitter truth.

Here is a collection of my favourite funnies from George Carlin. They are sharp-shooters, brilliant, and sacrilegious. Be warned.

  • "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
  • Always do whatever's next.
  • By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
  • Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
  • Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
  • Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
  • I'm in shape. Round is a shape.
  • I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.
  • In comic strips, the person on the right always speaks first.
  • Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
  • Life... is a series of dogs.
  • May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
  • Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
  • One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
  • Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
  • The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.
  • Think off-center.
  • When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
  • When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
  • The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other going in opposite directions.
  • Women like silent men, they think they're listening.