The Girl I Once Knew

Testimony of a Drug-dealer Who Experiences the Grace of God

The Girl I Once Knew - Testimony of God's Grace
Photo Source: Unsplash

Crystal grew up in a broken home. She joined a gang and began selling drugs to escape her home and gain control of her own life. Eventually, she had three children with a boyfriend who was arrested and sent to prison. Over time Crystal realized she wanted a better life for her kids. In the end, it was her children who led Crystal to church where she found peace and God's grace. This is her true story.

The Girl I Once Knew

I once knew this girl. She would stand proud and tall as if she feared nothing. Filled with pride in who she was and for what she stood.

Power and Control

She lived a hard life. Her father left when she was a child, so she was raised by her mother, grandmother and stepfather. Her stepfather drank a lot and would fight with her mother daily.

As she grew older, she grew to hate her mother. She would think to herself, "Why is she so dumb to be treated this way?" She vowed to herself never to be like her mother; to never be mistreated or disrespected by a man or anyone.

She lived in a neighborhood where drugs, gangs, and prostitution were normal. Seeing no other way out, she gave into the drugs and gangs. They gave her power and control.

Have Faith

At 15, she left her house. Dealing drugs, fighting, and shooting at people was the new daily routine.

She began a relationship with a member of her gang.

He was just like her; they had holes in their hearts and didn't know how to fill them.

They had three kids together, but eventually he was arrested and sent to prison for two years. Feeling desperate and alone with no home, no job, and no money she did what she had always done: sold drugs. This was far from what she wanted for her kids.

Long ago, her grandmother had taught her about God and prayer. She remembered her grandmother would tell her, "God does everything for a reason, mija, always have faith and pray.”

As those words played over in her head, she thought to herself, "I've done too much bad in my life to ever be forgiven." But she looked at those little faces of her children sound asleep and dropped to her knees to pray.

A Better Life

She began to lead a better life for her kids. She stopped selling drugs and got a real job, a car and an apartment. After about a month at the job she met someone who changed her life.

Her kids saw her new boyfriend as their dad. He treated them as if they were his own, and she loved him dearly for that. He knew about her boyfriend in prison and he was also in a relationship, but they couldn't give each other up. She became pregnant again, so they stayed together.

She married him and they had three more children. The struggle of having seven kids began to wear on them. They were working so hard to give them what they never had that they were missing important parts of the children’s lives.

No Control

Soon her dad got very sick and couldn't work so they took his family in. She again felt the fear of having no control.

Her grandmother’s words returned to her, "God does everything for a reason. Have faith and pray.” In the hospital chapel with her little brother, she begged God not to take her dad.

She went back into her dad’s room and told him that she loved him. If he wanted to go it was okay. A tear rolled down his cheek as he squeezed her hand. He died shortly after. She was angry with God for a long time.

She and her husband began to drink a lot and go out. They started fighting and turning to others for attention. They were about to lose everything they had built in their nine years together.

Finding Peace

Their kids had been going to church and invited them. Soon, they were attending regularly.

There she began to have faith again. She believed that God did love her and could make thing better. At home the fighting had simmered down, but losing everything was still hovering over them.

She swallowed her pride and asked the church if they could help. When she told them what was happening, they prayed with her with no judgment. A weight was lifted and she felt peace.

They still lost the house, but it didn't matter to them as it did before. All that mattered was that they were together and happy.

Testimony of God’s Grace

They continued to do church activities and spend more time with their kids. They started to see that the life they were living was not what God had intended for them. They began changing without realizing it.

One Sunday morning at the end of service the pastor asked if anyone wanted to come up and let God into their hearts.

As a song began to play, tears filled her eyes and her body felt as if she was floating. She stood trying to fight back the urge to go up. It's funny how words from a song can tell someone's life; this song described what she went through and how she felt. That day she gave her heart to God.

This was my life, this is my testimony. Never fear that life is too unbearable, or that you’re all alone. The devil is a liar. God loves you more than you can know. God's grace is for everyone. You just have to open up your heart and let him in.