15 Funny Quotes to Help You Survive the Holidays with Kids

It's Not Easy Being Home with Kids During Holidays

Family carrying gear at campsite
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Holiday vacations hold a special meaning for all of us. Some think of parties, a Bahamas cruise, or visiting grandma. But what if holidays spell "kids-at-home-running-riot?" Erma Bombeck said, "Being a child at home alone is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you." Here are more funny quotes about holiday vacations.

Erma Bombeck
"No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday."

George Carlin
"Marry an orphan: you'll never have to spend boring holidays with the in-laws."

Alice Cooper
"The two most joyous times of the year are Christmas morning and the end of school."

Roger Bannister
"Our concept of a family holiday was going to a guest house in the Lake District or Wales where walking was part of the holiday."

Kylie Minogue
"I have had a holiday, and I'd like to take it up professionally."

Frank Tyger
"When you like your work every day is a holiday."

George Bernard Shaw
"A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell."

Sam Ewing
"Vacation: Two weeks on the sunny sands - and the rest of the year on the financial rocks."

George Carlin
"The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going."

Philip Andrew
"To many people, holidays are not voyages of discovery, but a ritual of reassurance."

Earl Wilson
"A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking."

Elbert Hubbard
"No man needs a vacation so much as the person who has just had one."

Kenneth Grahame
After all, the best part of a holiday is perhaps not so much to be resting yourself, as to see all the other fellows busy working."

Dave Barry
"The best time to go (to Disney World), if you want to avoid huge crowds, is 1962."

Raymond Duncan
"A lot of parents pack up their troubles and send them off to summer camp."

When Holidays Are Here, Do You Get Cold Feet?

If you were a stay-at-home mom, you'd know. Heck, if you were a working mom, you'd know too. For kids, holidays means clogging up the bathtub with paper balls, which sometimes metamorphose into gobs of different shapes, colors, and textures. Holidays also mean running around the house, especially on my freshly shampooed carpet with muck from the garden. And let's not even talk about the innumerable slugs, bugs, and frogs that seem to have made home in a little box under the bed of my younger son.

What Holidays Mean With Kids Are at Home

Holidays means endless cooking for the ravenous little ones. They are forever saying, "I'm hungry!" or "When can we have pizza?" once every 15 minutes through the day. I wonder how they managed to survive school hours with one lunch break! And whatever is cooked at home is yucky enough for them to pull a face, or use the food as play dough.

Kids make fortresses out of table linen or mess up the walls with their grubby fingers. They are bundles of boisterous energy that needs to be channeled. Moms are driven to their wit's end and resort to letting them watch endless reruns on video.

How About Taking Off to a Holiday Destination With Kids?

How about taking off on a holiday to someplace which is exotic and fun? Good idea, but be warned that kids are not the best travel companions. Between umpteen loo visits, pit stops at every fast food outlet, and shopping and whining at every toy shop, you'd be happy if you get some time to look at the scenic locales. And just when you find a cozy spot to put up your feet, you will be assailed with a "Mommy, can we go home, please?" And you wonder then whether it was even a smart idea to travel long distance.

Having kids at home during holidays can be a nightmare. If you have not planned it through, you may be in for some hair-raising experiences. But with the right plans, you can have a great time with kids during holidays. Here is a 5-step plan on how to survive the holidays with kids:

1. Prepare a list of activities that will be a hit with the kids and keep them off your hair.

It could be soccer class, swimming class, camps, or craft classes. Kids love to try out new stuff. Find out what activities are available in your neighborhood. If your kids' friends have signed up for some special courses, you may want to team up with them. This way you can work a carpool schedule too.

2. Organize play dates, slumber parties and picnic with friends.

The downside is that you will have to look after more than one child. However, the upside is that kids are usually less clingy when their friends are around. Also, you can squeeze in a bit of "me" time, when the kids are busy with each other. Besides, whoever said that you cannot rotate the activities in each participating parent's house? Today, it is your turn. There will be a golden tomorrow when it is someone else's turn.

3. Stock up on supplies. Kids at home mean more food, more mess, and more activities.

Keep your ammunition ready. Wipes. Sanitizers. Raincoat. Snacks. First Aid Kits. Crayons. DIY project kits. Even if you think that you may not need them all, there is no harm in stocking up. You never know when you will need these.

4. Set some ground rules from Day 1 and be firm.

Ground Rule No.1 is "no TV before dinner and bedtime brushing of teeth." That way, you ensure that when the kids fall asleep on the couch, it is easy to carry them off to their beds.

5. If you are traveling out with kids, including an adventure in the itinerary.

Typically, beach locations, wild-life sanctuaries, and camps are fun for kids. You can't expect your 3-year-old to behave in a mall, which is overflowing with goodies and toys on Christmas Eve. Likewise, you cannot expect him to trudge up a hill, just because you love trekking. Make realistic plans, if you want to save your sanity.

Some parents become excellent at planning, time management, and multitasking after having children. Kids are indeed the best teachers.You are not the only one to feel heartache and joy of celebrating holidays with kids.