I'm a Virgo in Love with an Aries

"Help Me, What Do I Do?"

Taking Lover's Picture / Credit: Cultura RM Exclusive/redheadpictures.

You're a Virgo and your crush is an Aries. You've read the love compatibility for Aries and Virgo. Now you're wondering how to make it work. Should you hang in there?

So here I'm giving advise I'd likely give a client in a reading.

Hesitant in Love

You're a sensible earth sign, and it's natural for you to be wary about getting mixed up with anyone. In fact, I see you thriving in old-fashioned courtships, on that begins with an understanding.

You want to observe someone in their life, and slowly integrate them into yours.

Astrology helps you accept your nature. So let me tell you now -- there is absolutely nothing wrong with being who you are! A disorienting run-in with Aries, while exciting, can remind you of your own need to pace yourself, and have time alone. Solitude is very important, so you can digest your experiences.

One reason for this is your physical sensitivity. As a Virgo, you can be tightly wound, and very affected by changes in your routine. A change in your day, especially an argument, can even make you sick!

Aries comes out with both guns blazing! This is quite a contrast to your more methodical attitude. You might admire the bursts of energy, but also feel disrupted in every way -- like someone yelling fire in a crowded place.

Question: Does your Aries have earth energies in his or her chart? The planet and house of these earth sign planets can be a source of stability for the relationship.

Does your chart have fire sign energy? What's being charged up by your Aries lover?

Too Much, Too Soon

Aries is cardinal fire and can be a catalyst and great fun to be with. Ruled by Mars, Aries is legendary for partying into the night, and being involved in vigorous sports. Aries is also highly competitive, and likes to come out on top.

You shine best, on the other hand, when you avoid extremes, like staying out all night. It takes you longer to recover from overindulging, and is taxing on your nervous system.

Your instincts are to support others, rather than one-up them. An immature Aries could see this as a weakness and lose interest. Aries likes friction, and without necessarily meaning to, can become pushy, if you let them walk all over you.

A gift of Aries is that they often bring out our own fight. A short affair with an Aries may be all that's needed to remind you of your value. Sometimes we need that jolt to get out of stagnation.

Down to Earth

Virgo, you like to know a relationship is steady, and you can "work on it" over time. Your sensuality is fully revealed, in a cocoon of respect, even devotion.

And yet, like all signs, you have a shadow side -- a tendency to be critical and a worrier. Here's the paradox -- the natural traits of Aries can knock you off balance, and aggravate your obsessive tendencies. You can then become insecure, and self-conscious.

Aries is attracted to confidence, that's just the reality. They like to be challenged and even provoked. The selfish streak of Aries is a fit with the selfless streak of Virgo.

However, this will quickly get old and feel degrading, and not honoring. You'll both feel that you're not being your best.

A tryst with Aries awakens your own sense of selfhood, even if it doesn't end up being a long term relationship. What will help ground the love? A start could be shared interests, especially physical ones, that feel healthy and are about developing skills.

Some Suggestions:
  • Take an Aries at their word. They're very direct and honest.
  • Don't take on Aries as a project -- they do not like campaigns of improvement.
  • If you can't accept them "as is," better to cut your losses.
  • Set clear boundaries, and take time for self-care.
  • Follow your own passion, and you'll keep Aries' attention.
  • Discern between risks that feel right, and those that are done out of fear.
  • Go at your pace in love, and with sex -- the right Aries will respect your choices.
  • Your self-containment is attractive to the fiery first sign. So stay focused on your own life, and develop friendships, activities, new interests.