10 ROFL Funniest Quotes That Will Make You an Instant Hit

It takes just a dash of humor to bring a smile on your face. And it takes just a little bit more to make that smile into a chuckle or laughter. Let's run an experiment.

Think of a funny thing you read on your favorite social media site. Or maybe a funny episode that happened in school. Run through the funny part in your mind. Live it. Did you just smile? Was that a little crooked grin on your face? Now play this part in your head over and over again. Did you just go Ha ha ha?

A few funny lines are all we need to feel happy, smile, and enjoy life. So let's make a start. Share these top 10 funny quotes with your friends. Spread a smile. Soon you will have a cacophony of laughter. When others find a reason to smile, they will always be good towards you.

01
of 10

Robert Benchley

Nude mixed race woman smiling
Blend Images - Peathegee Inc/ Brand X Pictures/ Getty Images

It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up, because by that time I was too famous.

Robert Benchley was an American humorist and an actor. His humor columns in the Life magazine were quite popular. He was known for his sparkling wit. Another one of his famous lines is: "Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing."

02
of 10

Oscar Levant

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left.

Famous pianist Oscar Levant had a flair for making offhand remarks, blunt at times, egotist at other times. However, he had a way of getting into people's mind with his bright wit and dry humor. His reflection on his genius self shows what he thinks of himself.

03
of 10

Paul Merton

I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?

English comedian Paul Merton has a deadpan, glib style of cracking jokes. You'd want to go 'Huh! what was that?' when you read this quote. This funny line cracks up many people once they think it through.

Homer Simpson With Matt Groening
Homer Simpson With Matt Groening. Credit: Ethan Miller / Staff/Getty Images

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.

Homer Simpson may be a fictional character, but he is the funniest guy in town. If you have not read his beer jokes, you have read nothing. More »

05
of 10

Jean Kerr

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want - an adorable pancreas?

This one is my favorite comeback lines. You can rest assured that you will evoke either a surprise or laughter from those who heard you. Save this line for those naysayers who lampoon others about their beauty and their obsession with good looks.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

Ace comedian Steven Wright has brilliant witticisms up his sleeve. His funny questions make you think hard about everyday issues. Read some of the funniest Steven Wright quotes and learn more about his style of comedy. More »

07
of 10

Partick Moore

At my age I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if I'm not there I carry on as usual.

Whether it's Mark Twain that impresses you or Patrick Moore, you'd love to use this kind of funny quote in every situation when you want to talk about living life to the fullest.

08
of 10

Groucho Marx

Groucho Marx and Brothers
Groucho Marx and Brothers. Credit: Archive Photos / Stringer/Getty Images

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

Groucho Marx was not just a brilliant actor, he was an astute comedian too. His funny moustache is a quintessential symbol of Groucho Marx. Read some more of Groucho Marx's funny lines.

09
of 10

Ellen DeGeners

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.

Ellen DeGeneres is one of the most renowned talk show hosts. Her funny lines, witty wisecracks make her a favorite among celebrities.

10
of 10

Elayne Boosler

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I only lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

This one is a mind twisting funny quote. It may take a while for your friends to get the joke, but once they do, there's no stopping their laughter!