Ivanka Trump Jokes

Best Late-Night Jokes About Ivanka Trump

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Kurtzman, Daniel. "Ivanka Trump Jokes." ThoughtCo, May. 1, 2017, thoughtco.com/ivanka-trump-jokes-4137726. Kurtzman, Daniel. (2017, May 1). Ivanka Trump Jokes. Retrieved from https://www.thoughtco.com/ivanka-trump-jokes-4137726 Kurtzman, Daniel. "Ivanka Trump Jokes." ThoughtCo. https://www.thoughtco.com/ivanka-trump-jokes-4137726 (accessed October 17, 2017).
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See Also:
Latest Late-Night Jokes
Donald Trump Jokes
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"Ivanka Trump is being criticized after it came out the workers at a Chinese factory who make her fashion line earn roughly $1 an hour. President Trump was pretty upset with Ivanka. He was like, 'Wait, you pay your workers?'" –James Corden

"Ivanka Trump was booed in Germany. Apparently she told the people of Berlin, 'Why would you get rid of a perfectly good wall?'" –Conan O'Brien

"In Germany, Ivanka Trump told a crowd that her father is a 'champion of supporting families' and she got booed. Ivanka said she was surprised; she has always been told to open with a joke." –Conan O'Brien

"President Trump’s daughter Ivanka is going to have her own office in the White House. So finally, we’ve got a woman named Trump who actually wants to be in the White House.President Trump’s daughter Ivanka is going to have her own office in the White House. So finally, we’ve got a woman named Trump who actually wants to be in the White House." –Conan O'Brien

"Donald Trump's daughter, Ivanka Trump, was booed at a women's entrepreneurship summit in Germany on Tuesday when she described her father as 'a tremendous champion of supporting families.' You know you're on the wrong side of history when Germany's booing you." –James Corden

"Since becoming president, Donald Trump has not left the country — he's barely left the country club.

But today, Trump sent Ivanka to Berlin to participate in a women's conference, making her the first Trump to attend a women's conference that didn't include a swimsuit competition." –Stephen Colbert

"Ivanka spoke on a panel titled 'Inspiring Women: Scaling Up Women's Entrepreneurship.' And the Trump family has a long history of inspiring women — to march, to sue, to flee from a dressing room." –Stephen Colbert

"When Ivanka was talking about her father and how he was a champion of family leave, she was met with groans and hisses from the audience. Well, that's not fair. Trump obviously supports family leave. That's why he's always leaving one and starting another. " –Stephen Colbert

"Stateside, they've had trouble moving Ivanka's line of clothing, so they secretly relabeled it as Adrienne Vittadini. That's how unpopular the Trump name is — her clothing has been put in the Witness Protection Program." –Stephen Colbert

"Ivanka will draw on her 20 years of foreign and domestic policy experience that she gained selling sandals to Nordstrom. I have theory about it. Her office is on the second floor of the West Wing, not far from the Oval Office. I suspect they put her there so somebody can run and grab her, in case her father decides to nuke anything. She might be only one he will listen to.” –Jimmy Kimmel

”She’s not gonna convince her dad climate change isn’t a Chinese hoax; anyone with a dad knows they have invincible old-man-opinion strength. I can’t change my dad’s mind about chemtrails for longer than eight hours! . . . At most, Ivanka has stopped 1 out of 24 appalling executive orders. That’s only one more than Tiffany [Trump] has stopped.

But that sorry track record hasn’t stopped people from thinking of Ivanka as Lady Galadriel at the very white council.” -Samantha Bee

“I get it. People are comforted by the idea of a progressive feminist in the White House. To which I say, ‘If you wanted that, you should have voted for it!’" -Samantha Bee

"Bed Bath & Beyond recently announced that it will continue to sell Ivanka Trump products. So, be sure to pick up her new line of 'How Do You Sleep at Night?' pillows." -Seth Meyers

"Michael Flynn, President Trump’s former national security adviser, announced today that he is willing to testify to the FBI on the Russian investigation in exchange for immunity. When she heard about this, Ivanka Trump picked up her box of belongings and started slowly backing out of the White House." -James Corden

"Ivanka Trump revealed that she is planning to take a coding class this summer with her 5-year-old daughter.

Then, this fall, the 5-year-old will begin working at the White House." -Conan O'Brien

"Ivanka Trump abruptly ended an interview with Cosmopolitan magazine because she felt the questions were 'unfair.' Of course it's understandable, most of us wither under the intense political grilling of Cosmopolitan magazine." –Conan O'Brien

"Ivanka Trump cut short an interview with Cosmo because of what she said was all the 'negativity.' Which is weird because all the interviewer said was, 'So, your dad is Donald Trump, right?'" –Conan O'Brien

"Ivanka Trump is reportedly getting an office in the White House in addition to security clearance and government-issued communication devices. Even more unbelievable, so is Donald Trump." -Seth Meyers

"Ivanka Trump is getting an office at the White House and she’s getting top-level security clearance. She will take a position in the White House where she’ll draw upon her 20 years of foreign and domestic policy experience that she gained selling sandals to Nordstrom." -Jimmy Kimmel

"Ivanka Trump is getting an office in the West Wing despite previously stating she would not take a formal role in her father’s administration. The administration has said Ivanka is going to act as her father’s “eyes and ears,” which basically means she’s going to be walking around the White House saying, “I’m telling Dad!”" -James Corden

"I’m glad Ivanka is going to be her father’s “eyes and ears.” Now all we need is for her to take over his mouth, and his tweeting thumb." -James Corden

"Trump’s kids, Don Jr., Ivanka, and Eric, took their families on a ski trip to Aspen. Which was fun ’til they said, 'Wait. If we’re all here, who’s watching Dad?' 'Uh, let’s go. Get on a plane right now.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Rachel Maddow aired an exclusive report last night uncovering a portion of President Trump’s 2005 tax return. Specifically the part where he claimed Ivanka and Donald Jr. as dependents and tried to write off Eric as a loss." -Seth Meyers

"President Trump wrote some beautiful things about women today.

He tweeted, “I have tremendous respect for women and the many roles they serve. They are vital to the fabric of our society and our economy.” He didn’t write that. But that’s nice. No way he wrote that. I don’t know if Ivanka had his phone today or what." -Jimmy Kimmel

"Scott Baio said he is furious with Nordstrom for dropping Ivanka Trump’s clothing line. But mostly, Baio’s mad at Nordstrom for cutting his hours working in the stockroom."-Conan O'Brien

"Nordstrom’s stock went up after President Trump attacked them on Twitter for dropping Ivanka’s clothing line. Then RadioShack said, “Would you mind attacking us?” -Jimmy Fallon

"White House press secretary Sean Spicer said today that Nordstrom’s decision to stop carrying Ivanka Trump’s clothing line is “an attack on the president’s policies and his daughter.” Well, that’s what his mouth said; his eyes said, “Help me, my boss is insane!”" -Seth Meyers

"Sean Spicer said that Nordstrom’s decision to stop carrying Ivanka Trump’s clothing line is an attack on the president, and he’s also mad at Men’s Wearhouse, because he does not like the way he looks." -Seth Meyers

"Five other retailers, including Neiman Marcus, also announced that they are dropping Ivanka Trump’s fashion line, while AutoZone announced they’ll no longer carry Eric and Donald Jr.’s hair grease." -Seth Meyers

"Today, Al Gore met with Donald Trump to discuss climate change. To try to explain it in terms Trump would understand, Gore said, 'The planet is getting hotter than your daughter Ivanka.'" –Conan O'Brien

"The head of the office of government ethics said yesterday that the only way for Donald Trump to completely avoid conflicts of interest is to sell his assets and place them in a blind trust. Trump was like, 'Fine, I trust Ivanka.'" –Seth Meyers

"The White House press secretary] Sean Spicer said today that Nordstrom’s decision to stop carrying Ivanka Trump’s clothing line is “an attack on the president’s policies and his daughter.” Well, that’s what his mouth said; his eyes said, “Help me, my boss is insane!” –Seth Meyers

“Collaborationist; cowardly; here we go, complicit: involved with others in an illegal activity or wrongdoing. Oh, wait, it does have ‘being a force for good and making a positive impact’ under ‘complicit—total opposite of.’ ... You can’t just reverse the definition to make yourself sound better,” Colbert continued. “That’s like saying, ‘If being a Nazi means fighting for civil rights, then yeah, I’m a huge Nazi.’“ –Stephen Colbert

More Trump Family Jokes

"Donald Trump said at a campaign rally yesterday that he would put Syrian refugees in safe zones, and make Middle Eastern countries pay for them, adding, 'There's nothing like doing things with other people's money.' 'You said it, baby,' said Melania." –Seth Meyers

"Today Trump said he believes in torturing prisoners. Which is bad news for Melania." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Yesterday was Donald and Melania Trump's 12th wedding anniversary. When asked what the traditional 12th anniversary gift is, Trump said, 'I don't know, I've never made it this far.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"The New York Times reports that Trump's wife Melania and 10-year-old son Barron will stay in Trump Tower instead of moving to the White House in January. Apparently Melania doesn't want to pull Barron out of school, and when she was asked about it she was like, 'Yeah, yeah, it's because of Barron's school. That is why I don't want to live with Donald.'" –James Corden

"Eric Trump recently said that the Trump Organization will 'probably not' pursue business deals in Russia in the next few years. They'll also 'probably not' tell us if they do." –Seth Meyers

"Speaking of Donald Trump, his son Eric was out on the campaign trail, and a lot of people online noticed that Eric was photographed at an In-N-Out Burger holding a free water cup that was filled with lemonade. While the employee who gave it to him said, 'That wasn't lemonade.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Eric Trump today defended his father's recent 3 a.m. Twitter rant about former Miss Universe Alicia Machado, telling reporters, 'At least my father is up at 3 o'clock in the morning.' Why do you think that's a good thing? You know who's up that early? People who are wondering where they went wrong with their son." –Seth Meyers

Format
mla apa chicago
Your Citation
Kurtzman, Daniel. "Ivanka Trump Jokes." ThoughtCo, May. 1, 2017, thoughtco.com/ivanka-trump-jokes-4137726. Kurtzman, Daniel. (2017, May 1). Ivanka Trump Jokes. Retrieved from https://www.thoughtco.com/ivanka-trump-jokes-4137726 Kurtzman, Daniel. "Ivanka Trump Jokes." ThoughtCo. https://www.thoughtco.com/ivanka-trump-jokes-4137726 (accessed October 17, 2017).