Love and Romance in Sikhism

Sikh Couple Wed

Arranged marriage is very much the norm in Sikhism. Dating is discouraged and premarital relations are forbidden by the Sikh code of conduct. Romance between couples is something which takes place after the wedding and occurs behind closed doors. Commitment to marriage and family is strong. Divorce and remarriage is unusual with estimations below two percent. Compare that with the national average in the United States where 40 - 50% of first marriages, 60 - 67% second of marriages, and 73 - 74% of third marriages ending in failure.

So what's going on?


Sikh Couple Wed
Photo © [Hari]

In Sikhism, the Anand Karaj ceremony joins together a couple who have made a sacred commitment. The focus is on spiritual union. Nuptial rites are binding in a way which fuses two individuals with one light while wedding their souls to the divine. Thereafter the entire being of heart, soul, mind, body, thoughts, and deeds of the soul-bride belong to the beloved and are the dwelling place of the divine groom. Husband and wife recognize and serve the divine presence in each other as the premise for communication and conduct in their relationship.

"Gureh dhikhaa-i-o lo-i-naa ||1|| rehaao ||
The Guru's reveals insight so the eyes can see. ||1||Pause||

Eeteh ooteh ghatt ghatt ghatt ghatt toonhee toonhee mohinaa ||1||
Here, there, dwelling in each and every soul, heart, mind, and thought, You, and only you fascinate. ||1||

Kaaran karnaa dhaaran dharnaa ekai ekai sohinaa ||2||
Causer of causes, supporter of the earth; the One and One only, is beauteous.

||2||

Santan parsan balihaaree darsan naanak sukh sukh soeinaa ||3||4||144||
The Saints devotedly sacrifice themselves to behold the blessed vision O Nanak and in peaceful pleasure sleep."||3||4||144|| SGGS||407 || Guru Arjan

All About Sikhism Wedding Ceremony and Marriage Customs
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