Napoleon Dynamite Quotes

A Funny Collection of Napoleon Dynamite Quotes

Cast of the Napoleon Dynamite film and television series at the 2011 San Diego Comic-Con International in San Diego, California, including Jon Heder, Aaron Ruell, Efren Ramirez and Jon Gries.
Gage Skidmore/Wikimedia Commons/CC BY-SA 2.0

I have met kids who say that Napoleon Dynamite is the funniest movie ever. Do you think so too? Read these quotes and find out for yourself.

Kip & Napoleon Dynamite
Napoleon Dynamite Hey can I use your guys's phone for a sec?
Secretary No. 1 Is there anything wrong?
Napoleon Dynamite I don't feel very good.
(takes telephone and dials)
Kip (making nachos on the other line) Hi.
Napoleon Dynamite Is grandma there?

Kip No, she's getting her hair done.
Napoleon Dynamite Ugh!!
Kip What do you need?
Napoleon Dynamite Can you just go get her for me?
Kip I'm really busy right now.
Napoleon Dynamite Just tell her to come get me.
Kip Why?
Napoleon Dynamite Cause I don't feel good!
Kip Well, have you talked to the school nurse?
Napoleon Dynamite No, she doesn't know anything. Will you just come get me?
Kip No.
Napoleon Dynamite Well, will you do me a favor then? Can you bring me my chapstick?
Kip No, Napoleon.
Napoleon Dynamite But my lips hurt real bad!
Kip Just borrow some from the school nurse. I know she has like five sticks in her drawer.
Napoleon Dynamite I'm not gonna use hers, you sicko!
Kip See ya.
Napoleon Dynamite Ugh! Idiot!

Don & Napoleon Dynamite
Don Hey, Napoleon. What did you do last summer again?
Napoleon Dynamite I told you! I spent it with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolverines!

Grandma & Napoleon Dynamite
Grandma How was school?

Napoleon Dynamite The worst day of my life, what do you think?

Deb & Napoleon Dynamite
Deb What are you drawing?
Napoleon Dynamite A liger.
Deb What's a liger?
Napoleon Dynamite It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... bred for its skills in magic.

Rex At Rex Kwan Do, we use the buddy system.

No more flying solo. You need somebody watching your back at all times. Second off, you're gonna learn to discipline your image. You think I got where I am today because I dressed like Peter Pan over here?(pointing to Napoleon)

Pedro & Napoleon Dynamite
Napoleon Dynamite What kind of bike do you have?
Pedro It's a sledgehammer.
Napoleon Dynamite Dang! You got shocks, pegs... lucky! You ever take it off any sweet jumps?

Pedro & Napoleon Dynamite
Pedro If I win, you can be my secretary or something.
Napoleon Dynamite Sweet!

Deb & Kip
Deb I'm trying to earn money for college.
Kip(from the background) Your mom goes to college.

Uncle Rico
Uncle Rico How much you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains? Yeah. Coach woulda put me in fourth quarter, we would've been state champions. No doubt. No doubt in my mind.

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Your Citation
Khurana, Simran. "Napoleon Dynamite Quotes." ThoughtCo, Oct. 3, 2016, Khurana, Simran. (2016, October 3). Napoleon Dynamite Quotes. Retrieved from Khurana, Simran. "Napoleon Dynamite Quotes." ThoughtCo. (accessed June 17, 2018).