Presidential Debate Jokes

Best Late-Night Jokes About the 2016 Clinton-Trump Debates

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Funniest Presidential Debate Memes

Funniest Donald Trump Memes
Funniest Hillary Clinton Memes
Latest Late-Night Jokes


"Hillary Clinton actually went to her granddaughter's second birthday party instead of preparing for the first debate against Trump. I guess she figured being around a bunch of screaming toddlers might help her even more." –Jimmy Fallon

"After tonight’s debate, several Fox News analysts said that Hillary Clinton was the clear winner.

So maybe global warming IS a hoax because hell has frozen over." –Seth Meyers

"Hillary was so prepared, my new nickname for her is Preparation H. Yeah, it’s a compliment. In the primaries, she already proved she could 'soothe the Bern.'" –Stephen Colbert

"Last night, Donald Trump told an audience that before Monday's debate — this is a quote — 'I pretended I was talking to my family.' Then he admitted he frequently accuses his family of deleting emails and creating ISIS." –Conan O'Brien

"Ahead of tonight’s debate, Hillary Clinton posted an article on Twitter pointing out that no living president has endorsed Donald Trump. Nice try, Hillary, but it just so happens that Vladimir Putin is living." –Seth Meyers

See Also: Funniest Presidential Debate Memes

"It's reported that even the Taliban actually had a debate viewing party. So for the first time, it looks like they're torturing themselves." –Jimmy Fallon

"Donald Trump is still being mocked for promising in the debate to 'cut taxes bigly.' Trump has apologized, and promised in the next debate he'll 'speak more goodly.'" –Conan O'Brien

"The second presidential debate is just 11 days away, and this one will have a town hall format.

The first question will be, 'Why'd you have to do this in OUR town?'" –Jimmy Fallon

"At the next debate, Donald Trump is threatening to talk about all of Bill Clinton's affairs. Hillary's not too worried, because the debate's only 90 minutes." –Conan O'Brien

"Hillary Clinton has asked “Shark Tank’s” Mark Cuban to attend tonight’s debate.

Trump was furious and said, 'A billionaire reality star has no business being at a presidential debate.'" –Conan O'Brien

"Pundits are noting that this year’s group of debate moderators is the most diverse in history, featuring an African-American, two women, a Filipino, and an openly gay man. Trump was like, “I think I’ve heard this one before, but go ahead.'" –Seth Meyers

"We all just watched Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton debate for an hour and a half. Coming into tonight’s debate, Democrats were divided between two strong emotions: panic and pants-crapping. Democrats have not been this nervous since Anthony Weiner asked to borrow their phone." –Stephen Colbert

"Meanwhile, Donald Trump had to not commit murder — on camera." –Stephen Colbert

"The debate was moderated by NBC’s Lester Holt, which makes sense since he hosted “Dateline” and is used to two rich white people who want to murder each other."  –Stephen Colbert

"There were actually 1,000 people in the audience tonight and they were instructed not to applaud or cheer during the debate. As people watching were like, 'What about sobbing? Can we quietly sob?'" –Jimmy Fallon

"In addition to costumes, they also banned balloons and drones.

Which explains why Trump uninvited Chris Christie and Ben Carson." –Jimmy Fallon

"The experts said in order to win, Hillary Clinton had to project an image of competence, experience, wisdom, health, and vitality, without coming off as angry, bookish, or overbearing. Donald Trump had to not mention his [genitals]." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Green Party candidate Jill Stein was escorted off the Hofstra University campus this afternoon after she tried to talk to reporters outside of tonight’s debate without proper credentials. As she was being dragged away by police she shouted, 'Don’t you know who I am?' and they said, 'No. No one does.'" –Seth Meyers

"Both candidates are practicing for the debates, and according to insiders, Hillary Clinton is still trying to find a stand-in for Donald Trump. So far the best she's come up with is a car alarm stuffed inside a rotting pumpkin." –Conan O'Brien

"This was expected to be the most-watched debate ever.

The ratings were expected to rank up with the finale of 'Cheers,' the finale of 'M.A.S.H.' Makes sense, in a way this election feels like the series finale of America." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Hillary Clinton spoke yesterday about her preparation for the upcoming presidential debate, and told reporters, quote, 'I do not know which Donald Trump will show up.' Yes — will it be the kind, generous and intelligent Donald Trump, or will it be the one who exists?" –Seth Meyers

"Media experts say Monday night’s presidential debate will have a Super Bowl-sized TV audience. Of course, the Super Bowl audience drinks for fun, but Monday’s debate audience will be drinking out of sheer terror." –Conan O'Brien

"On September 26th Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton will face off in a debate at Hofstra University. The Clinton campaign is using psychology experts to create a personality profile of Trump to figure out what his approach might be. I don't know, are they preparing for a debate or trying to catch the Zodiac Killer?" –Jimmy Kimmel

"It was announced that you'll be able to watch next week's debate on Twitter. So, finally a way to see Trump say something really crazy on Twitter." –Jimmy Fallon

"Fox News anchor Chris Wallace, who will be moderator for the final presidential debate of election season, said in an interview this week that he doesn't feel it's his job to call out the candidates when they lie. 'Super!' said Hillary and Donald at the same time." –Seth Meyers

"Donald Trump has just revealed that he's not practicing for the upcoming debates in a 'traditional' way, and has not been using a stand-in for Hillary. Which explains why today I saw Trump at Ann Taylor Loft yelling at a mannequin. 'That sweater set isn't very presidential! Sad!'" –Jimmy Fallon

"The first presidential debate is now less than one month away and apparently the candidates have two very different ways of preparing. Hillary Clinton pores over briefing books, thick with policy arcana and opposition research. Meanwhile, Donald Trump is all about spectacle.

One former aide said 'Trump wants to be a showstopper in the Roman coliseum, the main event at WrestleMania.' Which makes sense since just like pro wrestling, you look at Trump's campaign and say 'That's got to be fake!'" –Stephen Colbert

"In other Clinton news, her campaign manager, Robby Mook, said in an interview on CNN that they are having a hard time finding someone as 'hateful' and 'divisive' as Trump to go up against Hillary in her practice debates. It seems like it'd be easy to prep for a Trump debate — just get a parrot and train it to say three things: 'email,' 'wall,' and 'huge.'" –James Corden

"They’re offering the debate in virtual reality, so if you want to feel like you’re actually on stage during the debate, here’s your chance, Jeb." –Jimmy Fallon

"Libertarian presidential candidate Gary Johnson took out a full-page ad in today's New York Times asking to be included in the first debate. Green Party candidate Jill Stein took a full-page ad out of The New York Times and folded it into a neat little hat." –Seth Meyers

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