Preventing Bullying in Private Schools

3 Things Parents and Teachers Can Do

Boy looking at girl's paper
Boy looking at girl's paper. McMillan Digital Art/Getty Images

What is bullying in schools? A survey funded by The National Institute of Child Health and Human Development developed the following definition:

"We say a student is BEING BULLIED when another student, or group of students, say or do nasty and unpleasant things to him or her. It is also bullying when a student is teased repeatedly in a way he or she doesn’t like."

Bullying is a relatively common experience in public and private schools according to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry.

My Experience With a Bully

Disclaimer: I know that I am biased when I write about bullying. Why? I personally remember being terrified of bullies when I was a 10-12 year old. My bully turned out to be somewhat infamous. David Walsh lived across the street from me. He'd taunt me and tease me. I was a sensitive, rather puny kid who spent all his time playing the piano and reading. I hated sports and was shy with folks I didn't know. David knew I was vulnerable and took great delight in threatening me. I don't recall his actually hitting me, but I felt very uncomfortable when I saw him outside his house, as I knew that I'd be subjected to some kind of verbal abuse. The fact that I remember the experience to this very day proves how humiliating and demeaning bullying can be. While I would never wish anyone ill, I was not surprised to see how David turned out. He died in the Bahamas in June 1998 from a ruptured aneurysm, having fled his native Canada in the wake of the Bre-X mining scandal, allegedly with hundreds of millions of investors' dollars.

At age 53 he was gone. Where was I? About a mile away from David Walsh teaching Latin at a private school in the Bahamas.

3 Things Parents and Teachers Can Do to Prevent Bullying

1. Promote Smaller Schools.
Any form of intimidation flourishes in a setting where adult supervision is non-existent or severely limited.

Reportedly students feel safer in smaller schools. That's why private schools frequently provide a better setting in which to control bullying. School faculty and staff can supervise students more effectively in a more intimate academic setting. In a small school children are not merely faces and numbers, but real people with real needs which can be addressed by a professional staff.

2. Control What Our Children Watch and How They Play.
It is really up to us as parents to control what our children watch on TV. The same thing applies to video games. We also have to watch how they use their cellphones. Above all, we personally must set good examples. If our children see us intimidating and harassing others, they will imitate what we do, not what we say.

3. Educate Faculty and Staff.
Like its cousin hazing, bullying demeans and humiliates young people. It scars them emotionally for life. While I certainly don't consider myself scarred by David Walsh's bullying, it made enough of an impression on me that I remember how it felt to this very day. A trained, sensitive professional staff can and should nip the bullying bug the minute it appears in the school setting. Ask about your school's protocols to deal with bullying.

Ask if the faulty and staff are informed about and trained on the issue. Find out if the protocols are enforced.

Conclusion

Constant vigilance and setting good examples are the best weapons which we adults can bring to bear against bullying. A zero tolerance policy in your school's code of conduct is an important first step towards eradicating bullying.

Children born after 1990 are well-versed in the use of electronic communications. They come equipped with cellphones. They use text messaging and instant messaging. They blog. They socialize on Facebook. So it stands to reason that they bully each other electronically. And they do - 24/7.

The Forms of Electronic Intimidation

The Executive Director of the Center for Safe and Responsible Internet Use, Nancy Willard, lists seven types of cyberbullying in her presentation notes for Cyber-Safe Kids, Cyber-Savvy Teens, Cyber-Secure Schools.

Some of these forms of intimidation such as flaming have been around for many years. Others such as harassment and outing are older concepts which have been adapted for electronic use. Sexting or sending nude photos via cellphone is another form of electronic intimidation.

A Cyber World

We parents have always had difficulty understanding how and why our children socialize the way they do. Engaging in non-approved activities is something children have done probably since time immemorial. Unfortunately for most parents, electronic activities are extremely difficult to monitor. Most children have a cellphone and Internet access. They send instant messages and text constantly. They live in virtual communities such as Facebook. They blog and communicate via comments left on music and video sites such as YouTube. Opportunities for cyberbullying are everywhere.

What's a parent to do? How on earth do we monitor those kinds of electronic activities?

We do what we have always done: we discuss the issues; we teach children to act responsibly; we exercise constant vigilance.

The worst thing we can do is to pretend that cyberbullying does not exist. Discuss it calmly and rationally with your children, just as you do any other serious issue such as sex and spending money.

The earlier you have this discussion, the better prepared and equipped your child is for her first encounter with electronic intimidation.

Speak with your school and understand what the policies about intimidation and harassment are. Hopefully the school has a zero tolerance policy towards such activities. Make sure that your children understand the consequences of violating those rules.

Resources

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Your Citation
Kennedy, Robert. "Preventing Bullying in Private Schools." ThoughtCo, Mar. 25, 2016, thoughtco.com/preventing-bullying-in-private-schools-2774285. Kennedy, Robert. (2016, March 25). Preventing Bullying in Private Schools. Retrieved from https://www.thoughtco.com/preventing-bullying-in-private-schools-2774285 Kennedy, Robert. "Preventing Bullying in Private Schools." ThoughtCo. https://www.thoughtco.com/preventing-bullying-in-private-schools-2774285 (accessed November 19, 2017).