"We're going streaking!": Hilarious Quotes from 'Old School' (2003)

Memorable Quotes from One of the Best Comedies of 2003

Old School
DreamWorks SKG

Writer/director Todd Phillips delivered one of the funniest films of 2003 with Old School, the R-rated comedy that became a must-own DVD for anybody attending college in the mid-2000s. Starring Will Ferrell, Vince Vaughn, and Luke Wilson, Old School features the guys trying to recapture a bit of their youth by starting a fraternity (even though they aren't enrolled in college), partying like crazy and otherwise behaving like college kids.

Romantic relationships, loyalty, and taking responsibility for one's actions are all addressed in Old School, but not in a manner that gets in the way of the comedy.

Even a decade after its release, here are some of the most hilarious lines from the film:

Beanie (Vince Vaughn): "All right, let me be the first to say congratulations to you then. You get one vagina for the rest of your life. Real smart Frank. Way to work it through."


Mitch Martin (Luke Wilson): “True love is hard to find. Sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a godd*mn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend..."


Frank the Tank (Will Ferrell): ”You know, I was thinking we could go back home, have some dinner and pop in the Sisqo CD... No? Weren't thinking that? Okay.”


Frank the Tank: I told my wife I wouldn't drink tonight.

Besides, I got a big day tomorrow. You guys have a great time.

College Student: A big day? Doing what?

Frank the Tank: Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we're going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time.


Frank the Tank: [out of breath] We're... We're going streaking! We're going up the quad and to the gymnasium.


Beanie: “Max, can you earmuff for me? We are going to get so much a** here, it's going to be sick. I'm talking like crazy boy band a**.”


Barry (Andy Dick): “He left me with a little something called herpes. Which I then gave to the dog. But that’s neither here nor there.”


Frank the Tank: "No, it's cool man, bring your green hat! We're going streaking!"


Beanie: “You think I like avoiding my wife and kids to hang out with 19 year old girls everyday?"


Barry: “Okay, ladies the secret to a good BJ is focus. I don't care if we're talking about your husband of 10 years or some hot sailor you met at TGI Fridays.”


Frank the Tank: “You tell anyone about this and I'll f**king kill you. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. We'll have him home by tonight. Okay, sweetie.”


Frank the Tank: “You're my boy, Blue! You're my boy.”


Blue (Patrick Cranshaw): “Just ring the f**king bell, you pansy.”


Beanie: “Six weeks ago Abdul here had a one way ticket to an arranged marriage with a broad he never met in Bangladesh. Now he's crushing a** every Thursday night at our mixers.”


Beanie: "Don't beat yourself up over this, Mitch.

It's not your fault. Dammit, Blue was old. That's what old people do. They die."