Top 20 Jokes at the Comedy Central Roast of Larry the Cable Guy

Greg Giraldo takes a turn at the podium during the Comedy Central Roast of Larry the Cable Guy, held at the Warner Bros. lot in Burbank, California on March 1, 2009. Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images

Comedy Central aired the Roast of Larry the Cable Guy on March 15, featuring appearances by comedians Lisa Lampanelli, Jeff Foxworthy, Greg Giraldo, Jeffrey Ross and more. Though the insults were fast and furious, there were some that stood out above the rest. Here's a rundown of the 20 best one-liners heard at the roast.

(Several of the jokes were pretty racy, so those of you who are easily offended may not want to read on.

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  • View photos from the Comedy Central Roast of Larry the Cable Guy
  1. "For those of you who don't know who I am, I played Natalie on The Facts of Life." - Reno Collier
  2. (On Lisa Lampanelli) "Lisa actually has a lot in common with that Octomom, the lady that gave birth to all those babies. She's never given birth, but she has had eighty fingers inside her at the same time." - Greg Giraldo
  3. "I find the best way to enjoy one of Larry's movies is never put it in the DVD player." - Jeff Foxworthy
  4. (On Greg Giraldo) "Between roasts, Greg has to sell his blood, sperm, and furniture to make rent. Luckily, all his furniture is covered in blood and sperm." - Toby Keith
  5. "You know you're important in this industry when Bill Engvall takes the time to send a tape." - Lisa Lampanelli
  6. "Do you even know who I am? Seriously, tell me, because I don't." - Gary Busey
  7. "Some people say Larry's only successful because he's pandering to the lowest common denominator, blatantly and not ironically exploiting people's racist and homophobic tendencies. Don't listen to these people, Larry. They're just bitter and jealous and right." - Greg Giraldo
  1. "Lisa Lampanelli lost 100 pounds, but that's because she was poached for ivory." - Reno Collier
  2. (On Lisa Lampanelli) "Front row tickets to Lisa's show are $100, and obstructed view tickets is $150." - Larry the Cable Guy
  3. "Toby Keith, when you wake up tomorrow there's still going to be liberals in the world, Mexicans and blacks, Muslims and Jews and high school graduates...and everyone else who hates your music." - Maureen McCormick
  1. (To Jeff Foxworthy) "Jeff, I relate to you so profoundly. I, too, starred on a family sitcom where the father was secretly gay." - Maureen McCormick
  2. "Jeff Foxworthy is a legend. Every time I see his mustache, it reminds me to wax my lip and every time I hear his jokes it reminds me to wipe my ass." - Lisa Lampanelli
  3. (On roasting Larry the Cable Guy) "I've never roasted a fake character before. Maybe next year we can roast Spongebob Square Pants." - Greg Giraldo
  4. "I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script." - Jeff Foxworthy
  5. (On the Blue Collar Comedy Tour) "Why'd you guys break up? Uncreative differences?" - Jeffrey Ross
  6. (On Jeff Foxworthy) "Jeff's a born-again Christian, which is no surprise. People always find Jesus after they've done something unforgivable, like The Jeff Foxworthy Show." - Nick DiPaolo
  7. "Larry the Cable Guy has everything: sleeveless shirts, stupid catchphrases. He's Mr. T without the acting chops." - Lisa Lampanelli
  8. (On Jeff Foxworthy) "Jeff was nice enough to bring me on the road with him at he peak of his career. And he kept doing it, even after 1997." - Larry the Cable Guy
  9. "How come nobody talks about your other personas that didn't work out so well. You know, like Dan the Comedian." - Jeffrey Ross
  1. "How the f**k are you so popular??" - Greg Giraldo
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Bromley, Patrick. "Top 20 Jokes at the Comedy Central Roast of Larry the Cable Guy." ThoughtCo, Mar. 24, 2017, thoughtco.com/roast-of-larry-the-cable-guy-top-jokes-801338. Bromley, Patrick. (2017, March 24). Top 20 Jokes at the Comedy Central Roast of Larry the Cable Guy. Retrieved from https://www.thoughtco.com/roast-of-larry-the-cable-guy-top-jokes-801338 Bromley, Patrick. "Top 20 Jokes at the Comedy Central Roast of Larry the Cable Guy." ThoughtCo. https://www.thoughtco.com/roast-of-larry-the-cable-guy-top-jokes-801338 (accessed November 18, 2017).