Royal Baby Jokes

Best Jokes about the Birth of the Royal Baby in England, George Alexander Louis

Prince George
Handout/Getty Images Entertainment

Your favorite late-night hosts had a lot of fun when they welcomed Prince George Alexander Louis to the world. Here are some of our favorite late-night jokes about the royal baby.

See Also: Latest Late-Night Jokes

  • "Queen Elizabeth met the royal baby yesterday. The baby cried, so Queen Elizabeth explained, 'You'll never have to work a day in your life.'" — Conan O'Brien
     
  • "The royal baby finally has a name. It took a few days but they named him Prince George Alexander Louis of Cambridge. The parents said they wanted a name that reflects his country's great history and gets him beaten up at school every day." — Conan O'Brien
     
  • "The royal baby has a name now: George Alexander Louis. George is not the king yet. So for now, we just address him as 'Boy George.'" — Craig Ferguson
     
  • "The royal baby has left the hospital. He will now go to one of the royal estates, where he will rest comfortably — for the next 80 years." — Jay Leno
     
  • "This royal baby is third in line for the throne. To which Prince Charles said, 'It's a really slow-moving line.'" — Jay Leno
     
  • "William and Kate spent the morning thanking the hospital staff for all their care. And the other patients spent the morning trying to find the hospital staff. 'My wife is having a baby too. Hello! Anybody?'" — Jay Leno
     
  • "The royal baby has been born. The royal baby was officially welcomed with a 62-gun salute. Because if there's one thing babies love, it's the sound of repeated artillery fire." —Conan O'Brien
     
  • "Experts are predicting that the royal baby could pump $380 million into the British economy. So the question is: How do we get this kid to move to Detroit?" — Conan O'Brien
     
  • "The royal baby is set to inherit $1 billion. In fact, he's so rich that he's already dating a girl half his age." — Conan O'Brien
     
  • "President Obama has issued a statement about the royal baby. He told him to hang on to the birth certificate. Those things come in handy." — Conan O'Brien
     
  • "It finally happened. Kate Middleton gave birth to a baby boy today. The baby weighed about eight pounds. Americans were like, 'How much is that in dollars?'" — Jimmy Fallon
     
  • "Kate Middleton went into labor this morning in London. When the rest of the royal family heard, they were like, 'Oh my God. What's labor?'" — Jimmy Fallon
     
  • "Buckingham Palace announced the child's gender. I wish they'd do the same with Camilla." — David Letterman
     
  • "Today we got our first look at the royal baby. Hurray for Kate and William. That little guy has only the tiniest tuft of hair on his head. And the baby's got some hair too." — Craig Ferguson
     
  • "The crowd outside the hospital was very respectful. You could actually hear the baby say, 'Fetch me some milk' and 'I will be king, Father.'" — Craig Ferguson
     
  • "I'm sure you all heard the news about the royal baby. William and Kate are the proud parents of a baby boy. Can you believe the media coverage? You'd think it was Kim Kardashian and Kanye West having a kid." — Jay Leno
     
  • "They kept saying on the news, 'the royal couple welcomes a baby boy.' Well, I hope so. Do people sometimes give a kid the cold shoulder?" — Jay Leno
     
  • "I understand there's a lot of celebrating going on at Buckingham Palace right now. I just hope they're able to get up for work tomorrow." — Jay Leno
     
  • "Kate Middleton had her baby. The royal baby is eight pounds. Then again, you can't really put a price on a child." — Conan O'Brien
     
  • "Congratulations to Kate Middleton and Prince William. They're the proud parents of a brand-new baby boy. This really is big news — I mean, if the year was 1250 then it would be big news." — David Letterman
     
  • "The baby will be third in line to the pretend crown." — David Letterman
     
  • "It's a great day for our friends in the U.K. There's a new royal baby. The royal family is delighted. Prince Harry popped some champagne and danced naked around the palace. Then he heard about the baby." — Craig Ferguson
     
  • "The prince said what any proud family member would say: 'Back of the line, junior.'" — Craig Ferguson
     

Twitter also exploded with news of Prince George's birth. Take a look back at some of the funniest tweets about the royal baby:

  • "The Royal Baby can't feed, bathe or clothe himself. So he already meets all the qualifications to be a prince." — @ComedyCentral
     
  • "Strange to have so many people focused on a single woman's pregnancy who are not Texas republican lawmakers." — @mileskahn
     
  • "Royal baby demands he be powdered with Bond. Gold Bond." — @pourmecoffee
     
  • "When they tie the umbilical cord will they use a Windsor knot?" — @MoRocca
     
  • "No word yet on which house the Sorting Hat has placed the Royal Baby." — @OfficialComedy
     
  • "What color smoke do they use when the royal baby has popped out?" — @KalPenn
     
  • "How have they not named the #royalbaby yet? It's the one decision they get to make without Parliament." — @indecision
     
  • "It's 'labour' you peasants." #RoyalBaby — @katethewasp
  • "Dear William & Kate: If William is 100% royal and Princess Kate is 0% royal, will that make your son a half-blood prince?" #RoyalBaby — @_Snape_
     
  • "Royal babies are tricky to deliver because of the whole silver spoon thing." — @serafinowicz
     
  • "If the #RoyalBaby sees its shadow there will be six more weeks of Downton Abbey?" — @CollegeHumor
     
  • "Pretty insensitive of the media to report that the royal baby is a boy before it's had a chance to establish its own gender identity." — @charlescwcooke
     
  • "I can't believe they've already priced the baby. 8 pounds isn't even that much." — @JennyJohnsonHi5
     
  • "Hopefully, it's a Belieber." — @rakeshsatyal
     
  • "Congratulations to Kate Middleton, who will now presumably not be beheaded." — @AlexKoppelman
     
  • "Kate Middleton 1, Anne Boleyn 0" — @Bencjacobs
     
  • "Kinda surprised that when Kate delivered a wrinkly naked thing with a baby-sized brain they didn't immediately name it Geraldo." — @GuyEndoreKaiser
     
  • "July 22. Boy. 8 pounds, 6 ounces." Nate Silver, last December." — @ritchied
     
  • "Okay, Nate Silver, prove your worth: WHAT'S THIS KID'S NAME?" — @JenSeniorNY
     
  • "Whatever, England. Our Kate had eight children." — @MayorBurnsy
     
  • "It is one hell of a day for London-based jewelers who specialize in itty-bitty little crowns." — @JohnDeVore
     
  • "Royal Baby born! And in other news, just as relevant to the modern world, a new line of rotary phones is here!" — @FrankConniff
     
  • "Crowds at London Bridge waiting to see a royal baby daughter tossed into the Thames now dejectedly dispersing." — @ditzkoff
     
  • "They should just name the royal baby 'Royal Baby.'" — @DamonLindelof
     
  • "Back when the monarchy used to be fun, a baby born third in line to the throne would already be plotting murder." — @bonisteel
     
  • "Woah people seem super excited for this new british band, the royal baby." — @EllenPage
     
  • "My marriage is in shambles & I have six-figure medical debt, but this royal baby is giving me a newfound sense of hope & wonder." — @RobDelaney
     
  • "The Royal Baby already said his first word! It was '...enough.'" — @imchriskelly