Soul Communications

Healing Relationships

Couple leaning into each other with stars.
Soul to Soul Communications. Tim Robberts / Getty Images

Relationship communications can be difficult at times. We don't always see eye-to-eye with the people we love. And that's okay generally. Agreeing to disagree is a good motto to live by. But when one person is acting like a bully or refusing to hear what the other person is saying there can be a major breakdown in the relationship. Strains or gaps in our communications could be signaling the beginning of estrangement.

It is not unheard of for family members not to be in contact with one another for years. When I was much younger a woman I knew casually told me she hadn't talked to or visited her mother for over five years. This really shocked me because all indications were that she was such a loving and balanced person. They had issues".... that's all she said. Learning about similar estrangements no longer surprises me.

It would be a rare family that didn't have one or more members who were challenging to have a conversation with. How do you handle talking with a mother or sister who tries to monopolize the conversation? Or, deal with a brother-in-law who insists he is RIGHT all the time, dismissing any of your ideas or beliefs? Controlling people can be scary to be around. And, you might want to ask yourself if YOU are the controlling one. Just because you have a personality that can easily intimidate others doesn't mean you have the right to raise your voice, throw tantrums, or otherwise demonstrate your bully-power.

You might be able to dodge your older brother's antics during holiday gatherings. But, what will happen when you and your siblings need to come to a consensus about caring for aging parents (helping them move, health concerns, end-of-life decisions, etc.) How comfortable are you going to be letting big brother planning your mother's funeral without your input.

Will you have the emotional strength to stand up to him?

One way you can try to communicate with a difficult spouse, relative, or friend is by using your soul as mediator. This process can be used anytime communications have broken down between you and another person or when you are at a loss at how to move forward in the relationship. I tried to explain this soul-mediation process to a friend earlier this week and she couldn't fully grasp how to go about doing this until I suggested she think of asking her soul to intervene on her behalf like hiring a lawyer or agent to fight for her interests. Then she got it!

Here's what you don't do:

Don't ask your soul to communicate directly with the person.

You've heard the term "meeting of the minds" right? Well, in this case it is a "meeting of the souls." Basically, you are going to ask your soul to talk to the other person's soul on your behalf. To be clear, this process is not about getting your way... it is meant to smooth the pathway toward better understanding one another and hopefully for better direct communications in the future.

Each person has their own life experiences that have cultivated how their personalities have developed. The soul (or higher self) KNOWS these things.

Of course you don't tell the other person about employing soul communication as a tactic. You are using soul communication to create a bridge between the two of you, not as a battle strategy.

How to talk to your soul:

Convey your intentions/concerns to your soul. Find a quiet space and time and mentally tell your soul what you would say to the person directly if you felt that person was willing to listen and really HEAR what you were saying. Writing down your intentions/feelings on paper or in a journal might be helpful to be clear about your own intentions. I suggest starting by making "Love" part of the equation. I would ask my soul to convey the words "I love you" when first approaching the other person's soul. If you didn't have feelings of love for the person then you wouldn't be bothering to fix things...

right?

If you are struggling communicating with your own soul... then ask your soul to help you with that too.

Just remember that a soul-meeting will be a two-way conversation. Expect that your soul will return from the meeting with information conveyed by the other person's soul about his or her needs. So, open your heart and use your intuitive listening skills. Being willing to compromise is how mediation works. There is no one winner... but there could be two winners meeting in the middle.

Try this process a day or two prior to scheduled meetings or phone calls in preparation for these planned conversations. You'll be amazed at how calming the process is. It prepares you to be a better communicator... both as a listener and being able to share your own thoughts/feelings from a state of serenity and groundedness.

If nothing else, this process is about releasing pent-up emotions or aggravations surrounding a troubled relationship and breaking out from old patterns of dealing with someone. It opens you up to understanding why that person acts or reacts the way they do. Your soul is a healer, invite it to do the preliminary hard work for you.

Also see:

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