What Are Soul Agreements?

Pre-Birth Life Planning

Soul Contracts
Soul Contracts. magezoo / Getty Images

Soul Agreements are pre-incarnation contracts between two or more individuals. The theory behind a soul agreement involves life scenarios conceived prior to birth. Souls choose relationships and family ties based on the lessons they wish to learn in the human form. There is conjecture among some spiritual groups that soul growth can advance more quickly through human incarnations than in spirit form.

Making soul agreements prior to birth give souls a game plan to use to advance their spiritual growth objectives when choosing future incarnations.

Can Soul Agreements Be Renegotiated?

Soul agreements are not intended to be too restrictive or set-in-stone based on the belief that "free-choice" is attached to human life. Contractually speaking, you might say that soul agreements have built-in out clauses. Our best made plans and goals don't always work out in life, and neither do the larger spiritual goals. The spiritual being doesn't always have the "let's be realistic" mentality that incarnated humans are faced with on a daily basis. Soul agreements are often re-negotiated behind the scenes throughout a lifetime to adjust to situations that disrupts the original ideological scenarios.

How Spiritual Contracts and Karmic Bonds Differ

Unlike the more rigid karmic connections people who are connected through soul agreements choose to hang out together for a variety of different reasons.

Imagine a conversation between pre-incarnated soul buddies saying, "Wow, it would be really cool if next time around we could arrange to be siblings, business partners, lovers, or whatever..."

Karmic relationships tend to have an "urgency" type of energy to them, bringing individuals together to return a favor, repay a debt, work out their differences, or make amends for past misdeeds.

When karma is in the mix, relationships can feel uncomfortable or binding, as if there is no escape.

Whereas anyone we are connected to through agreed upon our pre-birth agreements is usually the friend who makes us laugh, the trusty mentor, a favorite sibling, etc. Our soul agreements or spiritual contracts are usually designed with one or more out-clauses built in in order to be more freeing. We don't generally feel any sense of obligation in our contractual relationships.

Tough Love Soul Agreements

Soul agreements are also sometimes based on tough love. For example, a soul may want to experience rejection, abandonment, or some other difficult emotions in the human life classroom. Another soul agrees to take on the role of nemesis. Try looking into the eyes of an enemy, you may be surprised to see a friendly-soul looking lovingly back at you. Something to think about, huh?

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Nitty Gritty Soul Agreement Stories
from our readers

The Disappearing Boy - Several years ago, at work, a man came into my life- we both had a "namaste" moment, though I don't "buy into" that sort of thing too easily. He seems to be drawn to me ever since, occasionally insisting that he feels we're "supposed" to be a part of each others' lives, & that he's "supposed" to love me, even though I've been in a very committed relationship this whole time.

He weirded me out a bit lol, though I grew to know him as one of the most amazing people I've ever met. When we're putting forth effort into our friendship, we both bring a lot of love & light into each others' lives, but there have been a couple times now where one of us has hurt the other & he'll refuse to meet me halfway with love & compassion to resolve the issue. He pretty literally disappears from my life, leaving both of us confused & heartbroken. I'm hurt, but I hold no resentment. I have faith that we'll figure out our "soul contract" someday, & I'll maintain my patience til the next round. ~Sally

Incorporate the Lesson into Your Life - As someone who has gone through some painful experiences, I know you only realize their value once you're on the other side of the pain. Incorporate the lesson into your life and you won't have to repeat it.


I Believed - I still believe of you as an angel just after you telling me this some time ago. I held you with all of my heart and soul which gave way and leaves me with such a loss of life. I will keep my thoughts of the honest words you offered and shared always. Truth and honesty always ring a bell with me and sharing with you this was my deepest passion to finally find this in you. I have always in my life been thrown way. In you I was captured with your delight and the positive thoughts you offered. I found in seeing your soul and heart you gave so much and so afraid of you being who you are in truth the walls begin to fall and you closed your heart. Time is a waiting game and in time something of true worth is worth the wait. I never looked for any expectations nor did I hold you to them but in all seeing this end result my heart is broken and shattered. I could never reach out again for I had the best. Yes we did get past the Hello. ~Hollywoodrags

Having the Time of My Life - Soul and minds that meet. I met a gal this year that has taken me to a much higher level I could never imagine ever being there. I will confess to this in so many ways that with her inspiration and her feelings for me that two hearts and souls have met. I found myself falling for her with so much feeling and love, my thoughts of just how in the world I ended up doing this is a wonderful gift from above. We both are of the same horoscope sign and our birthdays are just one day difference. I feel that with feeling and the love I felt for her, I hope that there would be a plan someday. In closing if you ever find that one soul that is so very close to your heart and gut and both work as this is a wonderful feeling, grab this you only ( I believe) have this one time and when that door is open walk though it and never look back or be afraid. I'm walking on clouds and it's your fault and I thank you for allowing me to love you in my full circle way. ~Hollywoodrags55

Evidence is All Around Us - Not only are there episodes in my own life where it seems my path has altered by of pre-life contracts, I see the same in others.

Following such a contract changes the quality of surrounding events, it is noticeable, and may be worth following for the unexpected lessons you get. But be warned, learning is painful; and from my present perspective, fulfilling all contracts is not a good idea. At time avenues seem to be closed off and others opened in ways and on a scale which is inconsistent with mundane probability. I have a simple rule here, take notice and co-operate if the way you are directed deserves your consent: notice what your soul agreed to and what your conscious ego thinks will likely be different. If it does not deserve consent it is an unwarranted breach of the rule of Free-Will, and this also happens. ~Mike Voyce

Soul Agreements - Although I have believed in these since I was a small one I only truly realized the "gifts" behind the traumatic relationships I have experienced with family and lovers. I was born a rebel and was basically thrown out of my family fold 15 years ago. That was a huge struggle - rejection, betrayal, hate, revenge - so many emotions - depression, suicidal thoughts, alcoholism. But, thanks to a wonderful Soul I met who was a past life regression therapist I was able to see these relationships from a Higher viewpoint. I wept for days when I realised how these very special people in my life advanced my Spiritual growth with their Human unkindness. I appreciated the sacrifices that they made on a Soul level and how much we have all hurt each other. I have discovered that the only way to heal anything is with LOVE. Forgive those who have hurt you and take responsibility for what you may have done. In the words of the Ho'oponono ... I love you - I'm sorry - please forgive me - thank you ~ sarfenda

I Do Believe - Back last year I met a great gal online and from there as she told me we have already gone past the Hi. We have such a great relation even though a long distant one. There are choices for us in this life to make and in believing this I find myself with thoughts of her all the time. What's so wild with all of this is our birthdays are just one day apart and both in the same sign. We see and think of the same things which are very deep and in knowing we both see changes coming. With this in closing when your soul finds a connection in this world so loving grab a hold of it and embrace this. Life is way too short and learn as much as you can. I'd never in this lifetime find another so close and to feel the same things even though with distance we have some sort of a love that will never match to anything else. I will say to her is a huge loving thank you for getting passed the Hi and thank you for allowing me to trust again and I do in you!! ~Hollywoodrags

Is This a Soul Connection? - I am 49 yrs and after a lot of heartbreaks and recoveries. I met a married man who is 64 yrs on a dating site, being a very particular person about making choices as such, I could not help but felt drawn to this guy, as days and weeks went by we knew it was a soul yearning for us to meet like this. Is this wrong? Wish I knew. But I feel a deep connection with him and he feels the same. It's complicated. ~ Jane

The Lesson of Loss- I gave birth to 2 children. My husband & I tried for a long time & both pregnancies were very difficult. But we had two beautiful baby boys. The second day after birth as I was holding & talking to my youngest, these words came from my lips "So you're the one I'm going to lose." Just before his 21st birthday his heart stopped on his way to see a friend. It was instant and devastating. Less than 3 years later, his older brother was diagnosed with stage 4 oral cancer. He went through 1 surgery but it came back within 3 months and ravaged his body. He is now on Hospice at home. I grew emotionally & spiritually in leaps & bounds after losing my youngest son. This time, I have time to say good-bye & grow even more. I know that this is really a gift, as painful as it is. We cooperatively arranged these circumstances, and we all continue to grow. I have much more to do before it's my turn to leave. I have faith in the universe and know that it's all about love & compassion. ~Lorraine

Why would I have chosen this? - In March 2009 I met my soulmate Francesca. She had a rare form of cancer but that didn`t matter to me. We fell totally in love we both knew we were meant to be together, 7 months later she passed away in November. I don`t believe I would have chosen this in my soul agreement. I wouldn't want anyone to go through this, it's now a living hell. I find I cannot exist without her. I cannot function properly. ~Michael

Trauma as a Healing Tool - Someone on this website spoke of trauma as opening us up to healing. I've had a string of hurtful experiences that in reality made me think of others before who'd done the same thing. This sort of focused my perception onto things I'd pushed under the carpet before. I believe that souls who love me and want my peace and joy can love me enough to come and make me experience a trauma so that I can set myself free and move on. ~Cara Patrick

Past Life Grandparents? - I think my husband must have wanted to have every soul he knew from past incarnations as relatives this time around. He has nine siblings, two half siblings, five step siblings, and four sets of grandparents due to the divorce and remarriages of both his parents. His relationship with both parents and steps are extremely closes, it is as if they've known each other forever... Even the ex wife and ex hub of the steps get along famously. It is like I married into a clan of the ancients. ~Mair

Family of Souls - I was involved with a man for a brief period. During that time I conceived a child, my beautiful daughter. Most people would say he was a jerk or a deadbeat because he took off. He didn't stick around to be a father. I've never resented him for leaving. That may seem odd but I think it was pre-planned for him to help me become pregnant, and nothing more. I still got to experience marriage because another man came into my life who became a wonderful father to OUR daughter shortly before her 3rd birthday. I believe ours was a 4-soul agreement. Biology of mother/father, a daughter conceived, and the fourth soul agreed to step into the role of fatherhood. ~Anna Mae