Super Bowl Jokes

Funny Jokes about the Super Bowl from the Late-Night Comedians

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Kurtzman, Daniel. "Super Bowl Jokes." ThoughtCo, Sep. 1, 2016, Kurtzman, Daniel. (2016, September 1). Super Bowl Jokes. Retrieved from Kurtzman, Daniel. "Super Bowl Jokes." ThoughtCo. (accessed October 23, 2017).
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"Tom Brady says he wants to give the truck he was given as the Super Bowl MVP to the guy who won the Super Bowl for the Patriots. So Brady's giving his truck to Seahawks coach Pete Carroll." –Conan O'Brien

"The matchup for the Super Bowl is set. The New England Patriots take on the defending champs, the Seattle Seahawks. Idina Menzel from the movie "Frozen" will sing the national anthem, and Katy Perry will perform at halftime.

It's the first Super Bowl targeted specifically at 7-year-old girls." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Patriots quarterback Tom Brady was summoned to answer questions about the footballs that were mysteriously deflated in their game against the Colts. This was covered live on all the sports networks and also live on Fox News, CNN, MSNBC, ABC, and a bunch of local channels. You would think Tom Brady had killed the president's dog." –Jimmy Kimmel

"It’s been predicted that Americans will consume 1.2 billion chicken wings on Super Bowl Sunday. And then after breakfast, they’ll tune into the Super Bowl." –Conan O'Brien

"If you want to go to the Super Bowl in Phoenix, it will cost you a lot of money, double what they were last year. The average asking price is around $6,000 per ticket. Do people not know the game is on television this year?" –Jimmy Kimmel

"On eBay, a group of four Super Bowl tickets is going for $51,000.

Although to be fair, that price includes a full-body rubdown from stadium security." –Jimmy Kimmel

"The Patriots crushed the Colts 45-7. Reportedly the league is investigating New England for deflating footballs during the game. I guess if you take some of the air out of the football, it gives the offensive team an advantage in cold weather.

The Patriots allegedly deflated the balls by telling them they're worthless and would never amount to anything." –Jimmy Kimmel

"The Patriots are denying they deflated the balls. Coach Bill Belichick said there was no tampering. He said all the needles they have are used strictly for injecting steroids." –Jimmy Kimmel

"More bad news for the New England Patriots. The NFL now has video of those deflated footballs alone in an elevator with Ray Rice." –David Letterman

"Attorney Gloria Allred is now representing nine of the 11 balls Tom Brady allegedly squeezed." –Jimmy Kimmel

"This is not the first time the Patriots have been accused of cheating. For example, there was the time they widened their own goal posts. ...There's the time they put magnets in the opposing team's helmets. ...There's the time they made opposing teams pay tolls every five yards. There was that illegal use of a helicopter…" –Conan O'Brien

"If the Patriots are found to have underinflated the balls they might lose draft picks, and the league could take away coach Bill Belichick's favorite hoodie." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Belichick said at the Thursday press conference, 'The balls that we practice with are as bad as they can be: wet, slippery, cold, sticky.' That's also the most popular line from the 'Fifty Shades of Grey' movie." –Jimmy Fallon

"Thank you, The New England Patriots, for being accused of playing with deflated balls. Or as Hugh Hefner's wife put it, "Been there, done that." –Jimmy Fallon

"The amount this week that the inflation and deflation of balls is in the news, I wake up every morning wishing I was 9 years old." –Seth Meyers

"Seattle was down 16-0 at the half. They came back to win in overtime. It was a devastating loss for Green Bay fans. And let me tell you something. There is no sadder sight than a man shedding a tear with a giant piece of cheese on his head." –Jimmy Kimmel