The 10 Commandments of Auto Repair

Funny, but good rules of thumb to safely work on your car.

10 commandments of auto repair
A funny look at car repair safety, with great lessons included!. image by Matt Wright, 2007

There is no shortage of bad car humor in the world, which is why I always revisit this aged standby when I want to put a smile on my face. The 10 Commandments of Auto Repair are funny, but there are some serious lessons to be learned in them. Humor has always been a great teacher.  

  1. Thou shalt not place any essential portion of thy anatomy beneath a car that is not properly supported with jack stands or blocks.
  1. Thou shalt not work on any part of the starting or charging system without first disconnecting the battery.
  2. Thou shalt suffer no flame or spark near the battery or the fuel system.
  3. Thou shalt forsake the open end of the wrench, and whenever possible to use always the box end upon thy nuts and thy bolts.
  4. Thou shalt always securely block the wheels of the car before starting work, lest thee run thyself over with thine own car.
  5. Thou shalt never lose thy temper or thy patience. Remember: "Act in haste and you will repent at your leisure."
  6. Thou shalt always exercise extreme care when opening thy radiator, lest thee parboil thyself or some innocent bystander.
  7. Thou shalt clean up any and all of the fluids that thy auto may emit, lest they ignite or poison thy pet, thy child, thy soil or thy groundwater.
  8. Thou shalt always place thy car's transmission in Park or Neutral before commencing work.
  9. Thou shalt never forget the laws of ASSUME, K.I.S.S., and Murphy, and never blame another person for thine own errors.