"The Santa Interviews" - Part One by Wade Bradford

A Holiday Play for Teens / Kids

"The Santa Interviews" by Wade Bradford

This is a royalty-free play that may be performed by schools, community theaters, and other non-profit organizations. Although the playwright (Wade Bradford) does not want any monetary compensation, he does have one request: If you use this play as a director, teacher, cast, or crew member, do a good deed. Just go do something nice for someone, that's all. Happy holidays!

This play is dedicated to my friends: Carol Rock, Liz Lewallyn, Clint Foley, Laurisa Reyes, and (my cousin) Rebecca Bradford.

Setting: The North Pole. The play takes place somewhere in the offices of Santa's Workshop. One desk can serve as the Cookie Making station, and another desk, perhaps on the other side of the stage, can represent Santa's office.

Two elves, Gimble (Male) and Macy (Female) work at a cookie table in the Dessert Department

(Optional Sound Cue: The play opens with seasonal music. As the two elves busily work, a narrator's voice is heard:

Narrator: While the children of the world counted the days before Christmas, the elves of the North Pole counted the sprinkles on their cookies.

Note: If the director thinks that the above exposition is unnecessary, feel free to omit the narration.)

GIMBLE: Three hundred ninety seven, three hundred ninety eight, three hundred ninety nine. Aha!

I thought it was missing a sprinkle!

MACY: (Handing one sprinkle with a pair of tweezers.) Good work, Gimble.

GIMBLE: Thanks, Macy.

MACY: (Working on her gingerbread cookie -- frustrated.) Oh, Jingle Bells! What am I doing wrong with this Gingerbread Man? Gimble, can I get your expert cookie maker opinion?

GIMBLE: Whatever I can do to help out.

MACY: What's wrong with this cookie?

GIMBLE: Let's see. The raisin eyebrows are good. The frosting smile is perfect. Excellent arrangement of the gumdrop buttons. Oh, I see your problem. (Holds up cookie.) There's an extra arm. (The arm might be sticking out of the gingerbread man's head.)

MACY: Oh, dashing through the snow! I'll never be as good as you. I tell you, Gimble, when you get that promotion, I don't know what I'm going to do without you by my side.

GIMBLE: Gosh, Macy. I don't think--

MACY: I bet you're going to make the best cookie supervisor the North Pole has ever seen.

GIMBLE: Well, nothing is official. Santa still hasn't decided who will fill the new position.

SANTA enters, very busy like. He carries a clipboard.

SANTA: Gimble!

GIMBLE: Yes sir!

SANTA: As you know, I still haven't decided who will fill the new position. But I do know it's not going to be you.

GIMBLE: Oh.

SANTA: But I would like your help with the interview process. We've got a lot of applicants and I could use your expertise.

GIMBLE: (Glumly.) Whatever I can do to help out.

SANTA: That's the spirit! Ho-ho-ho-ho!

Santa Claus exits. Gimble is still severely disappointed.

MACY: Gingerbread arm?

GIMBLE: (Angry.) Oh, Jingle Bells!

Lights shift to show passage of time. Gimble rushes over to sit by Santa. Macy exits. Prancer enters.

Santa and Gimble are interviewing a female reindeer named Prancer. (The costume of the reindeer can be regular work clothes as long as the actress wears antlers. She should also have some type of hooves on her hands.)

PRANCER: And I've put in a lot of hours pulling your sleigh across the sky, landing on billions of rooftops and all that stuff. So now, I figure I am ready for a change.

GIMBLE: And you want to work in the Christmas Cookie factory?

PRANCER: Yes.

GIMBLE: Making delicate intricately designed cookies with your hooves.

PRANCER: Yes.

GIMBLE: You think your hooves can roll dough and add gumdrop buttons?

PRANCER: Sure! It'll be a snap. (She tries to snap, but she can't.)

GIMBLE: But you don't have fingers.

SANTA: Prancer -- you are a brilliant reindeer, one of the best I've ever had. Why in the name of Kris Kringle would you want to transfer? Am I not feeding you enough carrots?

PRANCER: The carrots are wonderful.

SANTA: Oh dear, you don't have an egg nog problem do you? Because we can get you help at Egg Nog's Anonymous.

PRANCER: No, Dasher is the one with the egg nog problem.

SANTA: Then why don't you want to fly on my sleigh?

Read Part Two of the script, The Santa Interviews.