The 25 Worst Rap Lyrics of All Time

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25 Worst Rap Lyrics in Hip-Hop History

JayZ-90s.jpg
Tim Mosenfelder/Getty Images

Rap has produced so many quotable lines and smartest lyrics. Through the power of language, hip-hop poets help shape our world and pull us closer into theirs. 

Once in awhile, you'll hear a rhyme that makes you chuckle, shake your head or bury your face in your palm. Sometimes it's an entire verse. Or an entire song. These things happen. We can't unhear shoddy lyrics, so we might as well laugh at them.

From mathematical misfires to unfortunate puns, here are the 25 worst rap lyrics of all time.

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25. The Notorious B.I.G. - "The Ten Crack Commandments"

The Notorious B.I.G.
Adger Cowans/Getty Images

"Rule nombre uno..."

The Notorious B.I.G. is one of the greatest lyricists of all time. And I don't want to speak ill of the dead. Let's just say that everyone in the studio at the time of the recording was so thoroughly captivated by Biggie's flow that they overlooked his shaky Spanglish on "The Ten Crack Commandments."

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24. Timbaland, "Get on the Bus"

Timbaland
Ian Gavan / Getty Images

"There's no need to lie folk, Why you sleepin' wit ya eyes closed?"

I think Timbaland is trying to educate us on the distinction between sleeping with your eyes closed and sleeping with your eyes partially or fully open, which is a real medical condition known as nocturnal lagophthalmos. #staywoke

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23. Canibus, "Funk Master Flex Freestyle"

Canibus
Johnny Nunez/WireImage

"I can double my density from three-sixty degrees to seven-twenty instantly."

Obviously, Canibus slept through third grade when they went over units of measurement.

05
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22. Jay-Z, "It's Hot"

Jay Z
Dr. Billy Ingram/WireImage

"Thirty-eight revolve like the sun round the Earth."

Speaking of sleeping in class, it looks like Jay Z skipped Geography altogether.

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21. Peter Gunz, "Deja Vu: Uptown Baby"

Peter Gunz
Johnny Nunez/WireImage

"N****s in the Bronx call me Lex cause I push a Lex, and I rock a Rolex and I lounge on Lex'"

Let's do the math: "Uptown Baby" was released in 1998. It was probably recorded a year earlier. What are the odds that Cory Gunz ghostwrote this line for his pops at age 10?

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20. Dr. Dre, "Nuthin' But a 'G' Thang"

Dr. Dre
Ken Weingart/Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images

"Never let me slip, cause if I slip, then I'm slippin."

You already know that Dr. Dre is one of the greatest hip-hop producers of all time. But did you also know that he's also one of the greatest self-prophesying MCs of all time? Who else could possibly slip while saying "Never let me slip"?

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19. Redman, "5 Boroughs"

Redman
Matthew Simmons/WireImage

"My paragraph alone is worth five mics / A 12-song LP, that's thirty-six mics (uh-huh)"

Apparently, Redman's calculator is miles ahead of the game. And I like how he adlibs his math for emphasis. It's akin to faceplanting while taking a selfie.

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18. Kanye West, "Gettin' It In"

Kanye West
KMazur/WireImage

Don't try to treat me like I ain't famous My apologies, are you into astrology Cause I'm, I'm tryin to make it to Uranus

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Kanye, you genius. You probably know something about astrology that we don't. And this is why you're the one making millions from music." If you're thinking this you're probably Kanye West.

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17. Jay Z - "Glory"

Jay Z
Jon Super / Getty Images

"You're a child of destiny/You're the child of my destiny/You're my child with the child from Destiny's Child"

You know Jay had to try this one at least once. It's hard to resist. Luckily, he realized how silly it sounds and never tried it again.

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16. LFO, Summer Girls

LFO
Jeff Kravitz / FilmMagic

"When you take a sip you buzz like a hornet Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets."

Cut LFO some slack. These guys graduated from the Vanilla Ice Institute of Hip-Hop and decided to try their hands at random word association.

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15. Cam'Ron, "5 Boroughs"

Cam'Ron
John Ricard/FilmMagic

"Sometime y'all get crimey crimey, grimy grimy But those with a tiny hiney they get whiny whiny."

Someone should have told Cam that this choppy choppy rhyme thingy thingy is silly silly.

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14. Project Pat, "Ballers"

Project Pat
Bennett Raglin/BET/Getty Images for BET

"I'm hungry for cheese like Hungry, Hungry Hippo."

This is a funny line. You can visualize exactly how hungry he is for cheese (aka money) by how many times he repeats the word "hungry." One more "hungry" and we're talking "I'll eat a buttered dollar bill at this point" hungry.

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13. Master P, "Do You Know"

Master-P
Chelsea Lauren/Getty Images

"If you don't bring back my m****f*****n money or my m***f****n dope, you can forget about Christmas n***a, cause you ain't gon even see New Years."

See, this line actually makes sense if you really think about it. New Year comes before Christmas, if you're planning a full calendar year ahead. But the problem is that we're not sure exactly which calendar P is using, so this line practically neuters the threat.

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12. Prodigy, "Click Clack"

Prodigy
Gary Gershoff/Getty Images

"It's like fee, fie, foe, fum, I smell the blood of a jealous a*s punk."

In which Prodigy turns to nursery rhymes.

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11. Lil' Fame (of M.O.P.), "Half and Half"

Lil' Fame
Hiroyuki Ito/Getty Images

"First family will gradually lift that a*s up like gravity."

Gravity isn't what Lil' Fame thinks it is. Sir Isaac Newton must be turning in his grave right now.

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10. Pimpin, "Freaky as She Wanna Be"

DEM FRANCHIZE BOYZ
John Ricard/FilmMagic

"D.D.T. the b**ch, I can go for some hours. Let Parlae hit, together we like twin towers."

One quality of great songwriters is knowing what's sacred and unfunny. No matter how tempting, there's nothing funny about a Twin Towers joke.

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9. Chingy, "Balla Baby"

Chingy
Tim Mosenfelder/Getty Images

"I like them black, white, Puerto Rican, or Haitian Like Japanese, Chinese, or even Asian."

As far as Chingy's concerned, Asian is a nationality damnit.

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8. 50 Cent, "Candy Shop"

50 Cent
Jared C. Tilton/Getty Images

"I'll break it down for you now, baby it's simple If you be a nympho, I'll be a nympho."

The funny thing is that 50 later tried to sell a brand of Magic Stick condoms. It flopped harder than Kevin Federline's rap career.

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7. Foxy Brown, "Affirmative Action"

Foxy Brown
Johnny Nunez/Getty Images

"Thirty-two grams raw, chop it in half, get sixteen, double it times three. We got forty-eight, which mean a whole lot of cream Divide the profit by four, subtract it by eight We back to sixteen..."

Foxy Brown's verse on "Affirmative Action" holds the world record for worst mathematics on a song. Some believe that Nas ghostwrote this line, which makes it even more hilarious.

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6. Ali G, Grillz

Ali G
Chris Polk/FilmMagic

"Got a Bill in my mouth like I'm Hillary Rodham."

This is probably one of those things you say to your friends when you're drunk and they laugh politely. They don't want you to feel insecure about how drunk you really are.

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5. Mase, "Can't Nobody Hold Me Down"

Mase
Gilbert Carrasquillo/Getty Images

"Young, black, and famous, with money hanging out the anus."

Now, that's the type of money I wouldn't want to touch before breakfast. As my mother would say, GO WASH YOUR HANDS.

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4. Canibus - "Second Round KO"

Canibus
Hayley Madden/Redferns

"You might got more cash than me, but you ain't got the skills to eat a n***a's ass like me."

To be fair, Canibus used this line in the context of a battle. He probably meant it as a metaphor. Still, it gets me every time I listen to "Second Round KO."

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3. Trina ("Here We Go")

Trina
Hayley Madden/Redferns

 Now you know that I'm the Queen of Miami. All that loud talkin, lyin, save that sh*t for your mammy. Sounds like "blah, blah blah, blah bla blah-blah," I'm like uh-huh (uh-huh) okay (okay), Whassup (whassup) SHUT UP!"

Actual lyrics.

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2. MIMS - "This is Why I'm Hot"

MIMS
John Ricard/FilmMagic

"I'm hot cause I'm fly/You ain't cause you not."

Hey, remember Mims? He had a No. 1 hit somehow. Dropped an album somehow. Headlined shows somehow. He achieved these great feats with a song titled "This Is Why I'm Hot," yet he could never effectively explain why he's hot and I'm not.

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1. Rick Ross, "Blk & Wht"

Rick Ross
Joseph Okpako/Redferns via Getty Images

"Trayvon Martin, I'm never missing my target."

Too much. Too rude. Too soon. You made it worse by trying to clarify what you meant. Saying "I'm reminding people that if you're a black person or a person of color for that matter in this country, you have to  be accurate" makes no damn sense. Just no.