The 25 Worst Rap Lyrics of All Time

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25 Worst Rap Lyrics in Hip-Hop History

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Tim Mosenfelder/Getty Images

Rap has produced so many quotable lines and smartest lyrics. Through the power of language, hip-hop poets help shape our world and pull us closer into theirs. 

Once in awhile, you'll hear a rhyme that makes you chuckle, shake your head or bury your face in your palm. Sometimes it's an entire verse. Or an entire song. These things happen. We can't unhear shoddy lyrics, so we might as well laugh at them.

From mathematical misfires to unfortunate puns, here are the 25 worst rap lyrics of all time.

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25. The Notorious B.I.G. - "The Ten Crack Commandments"

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Raymond Boyd/Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images

"Rule nombre uno..."

The Notorious B.I.G. is one of the greatest lyricists of all time. And I don't want to speak ill of the dead. Let's just say that everyone in the studio at the time of the recording was so thoroughly captivated by Biggie's flow that they overlooked his shaky Spanglish on "The Ten Crack Commandments."

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24. Timbaland, "Get on the Bus"

"There's no need to lie folk, Why you sleepin' wit ya eyes closed?"

I think Timbaland is trying to educate us on the distinction between sleeping with your eyes closed and sleeping with your eyes partially or fully open, which is a real medical condition known as nocturnal lagophthalmos. #staywoke

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23. Canibus, "Funk Master Flex Freestyle"

"I can double my density from three-sixty degrees to seven-twenty instantly."

Obviously, Canibus slept through third grade when they went over units of measurement.

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22. Jay-Z, "It's Hot"

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Tim Mosenfelder/Getty Images

"Thirty-eight revolve like the sun round the Earth."

Speaking of sleeping in class, it looks like Jay Z skipped Geography altogether.

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21. Peter Gunz, "Deja Vu: Uptown Baby"

"N****s in the Bronx call me Lex cause I push a Lex, and I rock a Rolex and I lounge on Lex'"

Let's do the math: "Uptown Baby" was released in 1998. It was probably recorded a year earlier. What are the odds that Cory Gunz ghostwrote this line for his pops at age 10?

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20. Dr. Dre, "Nuthin' But a 'G' Thang"

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(Photo by Elsa/Getty)

"Never let me slip, cause if I slip, then I'm slippin."

You already know that Dr. Dre is one of the greatest hip-hop producers of all time. But did you also know that he's also one of the greatest self-prophesying MCs of all time? Who else could possibly slip while saying "Never let me slip"?

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19. Redman, "5 Boroughs"

"My paragraph alone is worth five mics / A 12-song LP, that's thirty-six mics (uh-huh)"

Apparently, Redman's calculator is miles ahead of the game. And I like how he adlibs his math for emphasis. It's akin to faceplanting while taking a selfie.

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18. Kanye West, "Gettin' It In"

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Taylor Hill/FilmMagic

Don't try to treat me like I ain't famous My apologies, are you into astrology Cause I'm, I'm tryin to make it to Uranus

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Kanye, you genius. You probably know something about astrology that we don't. And this is why you're the one making millions from music." If you're thinking this you're probably Kanye West.

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17. Jay Z - "Glory"

Jay Z and Blue Ivy
Jay Z, Blue Ivy & Beyonce. MTV/Getty Images

"You're a child of destiny/You're the child of my destiny/You're my child with the child from Destiny's Child"

You know Jay had to try this one at least once. It's hard to resist. Luckily, he realized how silly it sounds and never tried it again.

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16. LFO, Summer Girls

"When you take a sip you buzz like a hornet Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets."

Cut LFO some slack. These guys graduated from the Vanilla Ice Institute of Hip-Hop and decided to try their hands at random word association.

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15. Cam'Ron, "5 Boroughs"

Cam'ron
Cam'ron. © Asylum Records

"Sometime y'all get crimey crimey, grimy grimy But those with a tiny hiney they get whiny whiny."

Someone should have told Cam that this choppy choppy rhyme thingy thingy is silly silly.

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14. Project Pat, "Ballers"

"I'm hungry for cheese like Hungry, Hungry Hippo."

This is a funny line. You can visualize exactly how hungry he is for cheese (aka money) by how many times he repeats the word "hungry." One more "hungry" and we're talking "I'll eat a buttered dollar bill at this point" hungry.

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13. Master P, "Do You Know"

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Photo by Chelsea Lauren/Getty Images

"If you don't bring back my m****f*****n money or my m***f****n dope, you can forget about Christmas n***a, cause you ain't gon even see New Years."

See, this line actually makes sense if you really think about it. New Year comes before Christmas, if you're planning a full calendar year ahead. But the problem is that we're not sure exactly which calendar P is using, so this line practically neuters the threat.

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12. Prodigy, "Click Clack"

"It's like fee, fie, foe, fum, I smell the blood of a jealous a*s punk."

In which Prodigy turns to nursery rhymes.

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11. Lil' Fame (of M.O.P.), "Half and Half"

"First family will gradually lift that a*s up like gravity."

Gravity isn't what Lil' Fame thinks it is. Sir Isaac Newton must be turning in his grave right now.

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10. Pimpin, "Freaky as She Wanna Be"

Pimpin

"D.D.T. the b**ch, I can go for some hours. Let Parlae hit, together we like twin towers."

One quality of great songwriters is knowing what's sacred and unfunny. No matter how tempting, there's nothing funny about a Twin Towers joke.

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9. Chingy, "Balla Baby"

"I like them black, white, Puerto Rican, or Haitian Like Japanese, Chinese, or even Asian."

As far as Chingy's concerned, Asian is a nationality damnit.

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8. 50 Cent, "Candy Shop"

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Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images

"I'll break it down for you now, baby it's simple If you be a nympho, I'll be a nympho."

The funny thing is that 50 later tried to sell a brand of Magic Stick condoms. It flopped harder than Kevin Federline's rap career.

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7. Foxy Brown, "Affirmative Action"

"Thirty-two grams raw, chop it in half, get sixteen, double it times three. We got forty-eight, which mean a whole lot of cream Divide the profit by four, subtract it by eight We back to sixteen..."

Foxy Brown's verse on "Affirmative Action" holds the world record for worst mathematics on a song. Some believe that Nas ghostwrote this line, which makes it even more hilarious.

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6. Ali G, Grillz

"Got a Bill in my mouth like I'm Hillary Rodham."

This is probably one of those things you say to your friends when you're drunk and they laugh politely. They don't want you to feel insecure about how drunk you really are.

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5. Mase, "Can't Nobody Hold Me Down"

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"Young, black, and famous, with money hanging out the anus."

Now, that's the type of money I wouldn't want to touch before breakfast. As my mother would say, GO WASH YOUR HANDS.

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4. Canibus - "Second Round KO"

"You might got more cash than me, but you ain't got the skills to eat a n***a's ass like me."

To be fair, Canibus used this line in the context of a battle. He probably meant it as a metaphor. Still, it gets me every time I listen to "Second Round KO."

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3. Trina ("Here We Go")

Trina - Amazin'
Trina - Amazin'.

 Now you know that I'm the Queen of Miami. All that loud talkin, lyin, save that sh*t for your mammy. Sounds like "blah, blah blah, blah bla blah-blah," I'm like uh-huh (uh-huh) okay (okay), Whassup (whassup) SHUT UP!"

Actual lyrics.

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2. MIMS - "This is Why I'm Hot"

Mims © EMI Capitol.

"I'm hot cause I'm fly/You ain't cause you not."

Hey, remember Mims? He had a No. 1 hit somehow. Dropped an album somehow. Headlined shows somehow. He achieved these great feats with a song titled "This Is Why I'm Hot," yet he could never effectively explain why he's hot and I'm not.

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1. Rick Ross, "Blk & Wht"

Apparently the party favors were heavy in rotation. Rozey, Tunechi and Khaled Hustle Hard onstage at the BET Awards. &copy Kevin Winter/Getty Images

"Trayvon Martin, I'm never missing my target."

Too much. Too rude. Too soon. You made it worse by trying to clarify what you meant. Saying "I'm reminding people that if you're a black person or a person of color for that matter in this country, you have to  be accurate" makes no damn sense. Just no.