20 Naughty Trees That Are Letting It All Hang Out

These very dirty trees should probably put some pants on!

Catus shaped like a penis.
swedewah / Getty Images

Picture it, you're hiking through a beautiful forest or park, minding your own business, when suddenly... got wood? We're not talking about nudity of the human variety; we're talking about what happens when objects found in nature start looking a little too much like the human form.

The following naturally-occurring plants and trees have all grown organically into the kinds of scandalous shapes that would make even the most seasoned botanist blush. I'll be the first to admit that clothes do have their place in modern day society. Specifically how they cover up your junk and keep everyday interactions from being totally awkward on every conceivable level. I get it, I do. People should wear appropriate clothing in public, end of story. But trees? Do you propose that we go around putting pants on trees and Bonsai plants now? Who has the time for that?

Instead, let's take a picture of nature's booty, er, bounty, and laugh about it on the internet!

01
of 20

Your Headlights are Showing

Tree with two burls that look like boobs
 Via 9gag

If your inner 12 year-old boy is giggling uncontrollably, we completely understand. We'd be surprised if he wasn't laughing.

02
of 20

Bum Tree

Tree with a burl that looks like a booty.
 Via Funnyjunk

Big booties are always popular, so it makes sense that we'd have to feature the Kim Kardashian of trees. Although this tree looks a lot more all natural than Mrs. West's famous a$$ (and no, we don't mean her husband--ZING!).

 

03
of 20

The Gang's All Here

Trees that look like they're humping each other.
 Via Funnyjunk

The tree on the far right is okay with just watching. He's kinky like that.

04
of 20

Carrot Bottom

Carrots that look like they have legs.
 Via Dumpaday

Now that is one sexy source of beta-carotene. Mr. and Mrs. Naked Carrot will give you your dose of vitamins... along with a big dose of SEX-AY.

05
of 20

Right Back At Ya', Buddy

Tree that looks like it's "flipping the bird."
 Via Elite Daily

Well, I never!

Okay, yes we have. But still, this tree is totally rude and in need of an attitude adjustment. Don't make us get our hedge clippers, bro. We'll do it; don't think we won't!

06
of 20

Strawberry Peen Forever

Deformed strawberry with dirty shape.
 Via gosocial

That is certainly one luscious strawberry. So ripe and, um, juicy.

07
of 20

Vulva Tree

Tree that looks like a pierced vulva.
 Via Dumpaday

The "vagina tree" has stood for a hundred years, and will stand for a hundred more. Long live the vagina tree!

The piercing is a nice touch too, by the way.

08
of 20

Wonky Wooden Ta-Tas

Tree with two burls that look like boobs.
 Via Acid Cow

Wow, that's unfortunate, but a good supportive bra could fix this right up. Lift and separate, girlfriend.

Bonsai tree next to lamp and can.
 Via Reddit

This Bonsai tree was posted on Reddit by a user called "vegansaul" along with a caption describing the tiny tree as "the man of the house."

We can see why! Way to let it all hang out, little guy.

Bonsai tree that looks like it has a booty.
 Via Reddit

RodDryFist (nice username) replied to the above post on Reddit with his own slightly sleazy mini tree, along with the caption, "I think the man of the house should meet my friends [sic] plant, Miley."

Tree that looks like it's sitting on a fence.
Via Reddit 

Redditor Fat_Brando thought this tree looked more like a scrotum than a tush, but you be the judge. Better yet, why do we have to choose? This tree can be BOTH.

12
of 20

Graceful, But Still Nekkid

Tree photoshopped to look like a woman.
 Via Acid Cow

It may be shopped, but there's no doubt about it; this beautiful tree does look very much like a lady. A naked lady.

13
of 20

Back It Up

Trees that look like they're humping.
 Via The Chive

Beep, beep, beep.... Back the truck up!

These trees need to get a room.

14
of 20

Om Nom Nom Nom

Tree that looks like it's eating a fence.
 Via Elite Daily

This is the Cookie Monster of trees. How does that fence taste, tree buddy? Yum.

15
of 20

Groot, is that you?

Sequoia tree that looks like it has male genitalia.
 Via Elite Daily

This thing puts the "root" in "Groot!" But Jeez, Groot, could you please put it away? There are children present.

 

16
of 20

Humping Tree

Tree that looks like it's grabbing another tree.
 Via Cheezburger

It's a little tree humping a bigger tree. Of course.

17
of 20

As Dry and Vast as the Sahara

Large boulder that looks like vulva.
 Via Pinterest / latestfunnystuff.com

Hey look, it's a picture of your mom.

(Kidding! Please don't send us hate mail.)

18
of 20

This Tree is Ladylike

Tree next to fence with curled roots.
 Via Mandatory

At least some parts of nature know when to keep those knees together! After looking at that last image, this one is downright demure.

19
of 20

Meet Prickly Pete

Pine tree with pinecone and blossom.
 Via Pinterest / rieniedenner

In spite of his impressive size, Prickly Pete is not too popular with the ladies.

20
of 20

Scandalized Tree is Scandalized

Hollow tree with several burls.
 Via Scribol

Okay, this image isn't technically "dirty," but he is clearly shocked by all of these other wanton acts of nudity! If s/he had pearls, he'd definitely be clutching them in alarm.