Humanities › Literature "Tommy Boy" Movie Quotes Share Flipboard Email Print FilmMagic, Inc / Getty Images Literature Quotations Great Lines from Movies and Television Funny Quotes Love Quotes Quotations For Holidays Best Sellers Classic Literature Plays & Drama Poetry Shakespeare Short Stories Children's Books By Simran Khurana Education Expert M.B.A, Human Resource Development and Management, Narsee Monjee Institution of Management Studies B.S., University of Mumbai, Commerce, Accounting, and Finance Simran Khurana is the Editor-in-Chief for ReachIvy, and a teacher and freelance writer and editor, who uses quotations in her pedagogy. our editorial process Simran Khurana Updated January 11, 2020 Tommy Boy has many funny moments. Be it Tommy's dumb efforts at sales or Richard's sarcastic comments, the movie will have you in splits. These Tommy Boy movie quotes display the love-hate relationship between Tommy and Richard. Indeed, Chris Farley and David Spade make an ideal comic team. Richard Hayden You're right! You're not your dad! He could sell a ketchup Popsicle to a woman in white gloves! I think your brain has a thick candy shell. We don't take no for an answer. You have a window. And why shouldn't you? You've been here 10 minutes. Try an association. Like uh... let's say the average person uses 10% of their brain. How much do you use? One and a half percent. The rest is clogged with malted hops and bong resin. I'm gonna go get directions to our next huge embarrassing failure. Ok, here is Tommy, he's gonna help me with my little spiel here. Tommy is a Scorpio, he likes biking and he's never been laid. Tommy Forget it, I quit, I can't do this anymore, man. My head's about to explode. My whole life sucks. I don't know what I'm doing... I don't know where I'm going. My dad just died. We just killed Bambi. I'm out here getting my ass kicked and every time I drive down the road. I wanna jerk the wheel INTO A GODDAMNED BRIDGE EMBANKMENT. Hey, if you want me to take a dump in a box and mark it guaranteed... I will. I got spare time. But for now, for your customer's sake, for your daughter's sake, ya might wanna think about buying a quality product from me. Uuuuuuh! I killed it. I killed my sale. That's when I blow it. That's when people like us gotta forge ahead, Helen, am I right? I swear I've seen a lot of stuff in my life, but that was... awesome. But sorry about your car, man. That... That sucks. They were closed. How could you be reading documents when they're in your briefcase? Hmm, that's a mystery. Richard, were you watching spanktrovision?