This is a list of funny, made-up scientific unit conversions. If you need help with real unit conversions, check out our collection of printable conversion worksheets and examples of worked unit conversion problems.

- 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
- Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi
- 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton
- Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond
- 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope
- 1 million bicycles = 1 megacycles
- Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
- Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong
- 365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer = 1 Lite year
- 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling
- Basic unit of laryngitis - 1 hoarsepower
- Shortest distance between two jokes - a straight line
- 1 million microphones = 1 megaphone
- 365.25 days = 1 unicycle
- Half a large intestine = 1 semicolon
- 2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds
- 10 cards = 1 decacard
- 52 cards = 1 deckacard
- 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz
- 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
- 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 I.V. League
- 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 fig Newton
- 1000 grams of wet socks = 1 literhosen

- 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin
- 10 rations = 1 decaration
- 100 rations = 1 C-ration
- 2 monograms = 1 diagram
- 2 new dimes = new paradigms