Science, Tech, Math › Animals & Nature What Kind of Dinosaur Are You? Share Flipboard Email Wikimedia Commons Animals & Nature Dinosaurs Basics Paleontologists Carnivores Dinosaurs & Birds Herbivores Marine Reptiles Prehistoric Mammals Amphibians Birds Habitat Profiles Mammals Reptiles Insects Marine Life Forestry Evolution View More By Bob Strauss Bob Strauss Science Writer B.S., Cornell University Bob Strauss is a science writer and the author of several books, including "The Big Book of What, How and Why" and "A Field Guide to the Dinosaurs of North America." Learn about our Editorial Process Updated on November 16, 2018 1. At work one day, you notice that a coworker has stolen your lunch. Do you: Wikimedia Commons Climb up onto the break table, stomp your feet, and wind up escorted out of the building by Security Sit on the guilty party until he either suffocates or disgorges his ill-gotten gains. Shrug, look once around the room, and then eat the paper bag Bite the guy's head off - not literally, of course, but it's not like anyone needs two ears Charge up and down the cafeteria aisles bellowing like a wounded antelope Correct Wrong 2. I like to spend my leisure time: Wikimedia Commons Standing on the roof of my tenement building, swatting down small airplanes Visiting the local arboretum, late at night when the guards are off duty Loitering in front of Walgreen's and pretending to be a fire hydrant Wondering if braised pugs taste better than par-boiled Labradoodles Polishing my horns in the bathroom mirror and muttering, "You looking at me?" Correct Wrong 3. Which statement best describes your attitude toward dental hygiene? Wikimedia Commons Flossing with small, furry animals not only keeps my smile bright, but also amuses my kids Who has time for dental hygiene? I'm constantly stuffing my face with food So what if my teeth fall out? They'll just grow back eventually, right? As soon as the first dentist evolves, I'll be sure to book an appointment Believe me, come mating season, the ladies aren't looking at my teeth Correct Wrong 4. What is your educational level? Wikimedia Commons I was a legacy at Yale - my grandpa ate his dorm advisor I dropped out of middle school because I couldn't fit onto the bus I never made it past the third grade. In fact, my neighbor's kid is reading this to me I have more advanced degrees than there are mosasaurs in the Western Interior Sea I was never much good at homework, but I made a pretty good desk Correct Wrong 5. Poop much? Wikimedia Commons Voluminously You'd be amazed what all that fiber can do for you Yes - as a matter of fact, I'm pooping right now As soon as the first gastroenterologist evolves, I'll let you know Only when I'm being directed by Steven Spielberg Correct Wrong 6. Your favorite topic of water-cooler conversation is: Wikimedia Commons That Heat-Knicks game last night in which Derrick Williams almost ripped the head off Amar'e Stoudemire The weather, and how it will affect the summer harvest The skimpy size of your cubicle compared to the other 752 telemarketers on your floor How they got that Lizard guy in the latest Spider-Man movie all wrong The injustice of bullfighting Correct Wrong 7. You spy an attractive member of the opposite sex at a nightclub. Do you: Wikimedia Commons Ask suavely, "Hey, babe, are you a hunter or a scavenger?" Rear up on your hind legs and lodge your head in the faux-1970's disco ball Locate the nearest alpha male and hip-check him into the open bar Mimic turning a doorknob, then step right into her personal space Turn bright pink, shake like a wet dog, and bellow loudly across the room Correct Wrong 8. How athletic were you in high school? Wikimedia Commons My long neck made me a natural at basketball; unfortunately, it didn't get me far on the Sumo team I supplied the shade for the girl's beach volleyball squad at Hollywood Hills Success Academy I was the only kid in my semi-arid coastal ecosystem who knew how to play chess I had to curtail my fencing career after impaling all my opponents My killer instinct earned me a varsity letter in football, as well as 10 years in the state pen Correct Wrong 9. Which comment do you overhear most often at work? Wikimedia Commons “He's hovering. He's always hovering. Wait, did you hear that? Wipe the Minecraft off your--” "How come Pluto is no longer a planet, but this guy is still senior VP for east coast sales?" ”Don't tell Phil in the mailroom, but we haven't sent or received any packages in years.” “Our company spreads mulch to attract shrews. Why do we need an Information Architect?” "That's OK, I'll take the next elevator." Correct Wrong 10. Deep in my heart, I believe that people are basically: Wikimedia Commons Not as fast as they think they are Easy to step on Indigestible Overly impressed by feathers Tiny-headed Correct Wrong What Kind of Dinosaur Are You? You got: Tyrannosaurus Rex Tyrannosaurus Rex is like that popular kid you always wished you were in high school: the one who's always picked first for dodgeball, never lacks for a prom date, and even earns decent grades, mainly because his teachers are terrified of being eaten alive. The only thing that can intimidate a T. Rex is another, bigger, T. Rex, or (since it wasn't the smartest dinosaur on the Cretaceous block) seven or eight Velociraptors standing on each others' shoulders and wearing a T. Rex costume. Share Your Results Share Flipboard Email What Kind of Dinosaur Are You? You got: Brachiosaurus Brachiosaurus, the prototypical example of a saurischian dinosaur (Nobu Tamura). “Slow,” “ponderous,” “Brobdingnagian”--these are just some of the less-than-complementary terms with which people describe Brachiosaurus. What they don't know, and you do, is that a Brachiosaurus doesn't have to concern itself with other folks' opinions, and would just as soon stomp on friends, family and coworkers as deign to engage them in conversation. So if you're a Brachiosaurus, pay no attention to what the riffraff say, hold your neck up proud, and don't be afraid to sit in the first row of the theater during that 8 PM screening of Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Share Your Results Share Flipboard Email What Kind of Dinosaur Are You? You got: Stegosaurus Stegosaurus had an unusually small brain for its size, only about the size of a walnut (Munich Dinosaur Park). Just how dumb was Stegosaurus? For years, paleontologists thought this dinosaur had a supplementary brain in its butt, because they couldn't believe how small its “regular” brain was compared to its five-ton bulk (about the size of a walnut, if you have to know). If blissful unawareness is your raison d'etre, there's nothing quite like being a Stegosaurus; it's the Mesozoic equivalent of snapping gum loudly while listening to a Nicky Minaj mixtape and watching "Lost" reruns on TV. Share Your Results Share Flipboard Email What Kind of Dinosaur Are You? You got: Velociraptor Velociraptor was the Cretaceous equivalent of a giant, feathered chicken. Wikimedia Commons Velociraptor prides itself on being the smartest dinosaur that ever lived, which is kind of like being the valedictorian of your local laundromat—this middle Cretaceous meat-eater was only about as brainy as the average ostrich, not to mention the size of a large turkey. Still, if you're a Velociraptor, you can take comfort in the fact that you'll be fully aware of your impending doom should a rogue comet ever swing by the earth, and that you'll be immortalized (completely inaccurately) by an endless string of Jurassic Park sequels. Share Your Results Share Flipboard Email What Kind of Dinosaur Are You? You got: Triceratops Triceratops had one of the biggest heads of any dinosaur. Wikimedia Commons You, like Triceratops, have a big head. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. You could have a big head because you just got pouf'ed at the hairdresser, or because that cute barista smiled at you at Starbucks, or because you finally remembered to wear your Viking helmet to that regional sales meeting. As a Triceratops, you have a well-honed instinct for when to lower your head and charge, and when to turn your not-inconsiderable-tail and try to look busy. You're devilishly attractive to the opposite sex, but only for three weeks out of the year, so be sure to schedule your vacations accordingly. Share Your Results Share Flipboard Email